SIX MONTHS!!
Today marks the six month anniversary of me and Mark's second, first date. :) Things are still going very well. He met my parents about a month after we got together (they were in town for their annual visit)and I'll be meeting his family in a few weeks. My friends think he's a great guy...he has their stamp of approval. All in all, I couldn't be happier, and he's definitely become my best friend. :) Here's to another six months (and even longer) of our relationship progressing!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Update-3.17.08
Another Monday and I'm reflecting on yet another wonderful weekend! I spent a good deal of time with Mark, but also spent some quality time with my girlfriends. What a fabulous weekend!!
After Thursday night's grand surprise, I was beyond excited to see Mark again on Friday night. I drove to his place (it was easier due to Friday traffic and the restaurant we were going to for dinner is close to his house) and arrived just before 7. I walked in the door and he looked REALLY GOOD. I don't know if it was just residual smitten-ness from the night before, but he looked super hot in his dark jeans and blue striped button down. We just stood there hugging for a few minutes as the butterflies flew around like crazy in my stomach.
He drove us to dinner and we were seated in the back room of an Italian restaurant he'd never been to (I've been there twice before). He had requested that we go for Italian so he could eat pasta because he had to take a running/fitness test on Saturday. Before we ordered, and even while eating, we just talked and talked and talked... it felt like we were the only people in the room. After a wonderful dinner, he suggested we go back to the place we went several weeks ago for dessert (where we shared the amazing Oreo cheesecake). We hopped in the car and talked the whole way there, and he made a reference about how he hopes to have the opportunity to introduce me to his family. I just let him talk, but on the inside, I was totally blown away.
We each had another glass of wine at the dessert place, and we shared the Oreo cheesecake and we continued our conversations about anything and everything. After the massive rainstorm subsided, we walked to his car and drove back to his place. The plan was for this to be an early night because he had to be out the door at 7 AM on Saturday to drive 4 hours to take his fitness/running test. After he parked the car, he asked if I needed to come in and use the restroom, I declined, knowing that if I went in there, it would be for a lot longer than a quick trip to the loo. So I passed, we hugged and kissed goodbye in the street and I headed home around 11. It was another great night with Mark.
I talked to him a few times on Saturday, but saw him again Sunday night. He and I walked from his house and had dinner. After dinner, we walked through a nearby park and then made our way back to his place, where we layed on the couch, all intertwined, just talking. I don't know how it got brought up, but I think we may have had the "exclusivity talk." I can't recall how we got on the topic, but he said something about how he hadn't logged on to the dating site since the first night we went out (2/28), except to change his settings to stop getting matches. He used the actual phrase "You're the only one I want to be with." I agreed with him and told him that I'd logged on last week and cancelled the automatic renewal on my account.
This conversation kind of came out of the blue and went against the whole "we're taking things slow" concept, which I'd more or less successfully fooled myself into believing. I'm not ready to call him my boyfriend, and I'm not ready to use the r (relationship) word, it all seems kind of soon... but if it's not there already, it's definitely where it's headed.
Which leads me to a decision I made last night ... since things HAVE gotten more serious with Mark, I think it's time to cease the sharing of details (at least in this public of a forum) and see where things progress with us. Throughout this entire process, I've tried to be respectful and as kind as possible in sharing the stories of my dating adventures and the interesting guys I've gone out with. But this Mark thing is different, and I need to treat it as such.
My closest friends know that they'll still hear updates from time to time (Ginger, I'll make sure your colleague is kept in the loop and that she shares the latest with you). Thanks for all the support over these last 3 months! Everyone's comments and cheerleading have kept me optimistic through the ups and downs of this process.
Adios for now... I will post updates from time to time, just likely not with the regularity of the past.
xoxo, :)
Nay
After Thursday night's grand surprise, I was beyond excited to see Mark again on Friday night. I drove to his place (it was easier due to Friday traffic and the restaurant we were going to for dinner is close to his house) and arrived just before 7. I walked in the door and he looked REALLY GOOD. I don't know if it was just residual smitten-ness from the night before, but he looked super hot in his dark jeans and blue striped button down. We just stood there hugging for a few minutes as the butterflies flew around like crazy in my stomach.
He drove us to dinner and we were seated in the back room of an Italian restaurant he'd never been to (I've been there twice before). He had requested that we go for Italian so he could eat pasta because he had to take a running/fitness test on Saturday. Before we ordered, and even while eating, we just talked and talked and talked... it felt like we were the only people in the room. After a wonderful dinner, he suggested we go back to the place we went several weeks ago for dessert (where we shared the amazing Oreo cheesecake). We hopped in the car and talked the whole way there, and he made a reference about how he hopes to have the opportunity to introduce me to his family. I just let him talk, but on the inside, I was totally blown away.
We each had another glass of wine at the dessert place, and we shared the Oreo cheesecake and we continued our conversations about anything and everything. After the massive rainstorm subsided, we walked to his car and drove back to his place. The plan was for this to be an early night because he had to be out the door at 7 AM on Saturday to drive 4 hours to take his fitness/running test. After he parked the car, he asked if I needed to come in and use the restroom, I declined, knowing that if I went in there, it would be for a lot longer than a quick trip to the loo. So I passed, we hugged and kissed goodbye in the street and I headed home around 11. It was another great night with Mark.
I talked to him a few times on Saturday, but saw him again Sunday night. He and I walked from his house and had dinner. After dinner, we walked through a nearby park and then made our way back to his place, where we layed on the couch, all intertwined, just talking. I don't know how it got brought up, but I think we may have had the "exclusivity talk." I can't recall how we got on the topic, but he said something about how he hadn't logged on to the dating site since the first night we went out (2/28), except to change his settings to stop getting matches. He used the actual phrase "You're the only one I want to be with." I agreed with him and told him that I'd logged on last week and cancelled the automatic renewal on my account.
This conversation kind of came out of the blue and went against the whole "we're taking things slow" concept, which I'd more or less successfully fooled myself into believing. I'm not ready to call him my boyfriend, and I'm not ready to use the r (relationship) word, it all seems kind of soon... but if it's not there already, it's definitely where it's headed.
Which leads me to a decision I made last night ... since things HAVE gotten more serious with Mark, I think it's time to cease the sharing of details (at least in this public of a forum) and see where things progress with us. Throughout this entire process, I've tried to be respectful and as kind as possible in sharing the stories of my dating adventures and the interesting guys I've gone out with. But this Mark thing is different, and I need to treat it as such.
My closest friends know that they'll still hear updates from time to time (Ginger, I'll make sure your colleague is kept in the loop and that she shares the latest with you). Thanks for all the support over these last 3 months! Everyone's comments and cheerleading have kept me optimistic through the ups and downs of this process.
Adios for now... I will post updates from time to time, just likely not with the regularity of the past.
xoxo, :)
Nay
Friday, March 14, 2008
Update-3.14.08
I still can't believe what happened to me last night! This is the stuff of movies!!
All week, I’ve been looking forward to my Friday night date with Mark. He has too – every time we talk on the phone (or in his morning text message) he made a reference about “Is it Friday yet?” or “Can’t wait for Friday.”
I know I have a busy weekend ahead, so because of that I’d planned to have a quiet, uneventful evening relaxing at home and catching up with friends on the phone. After one friend and I hung up, I was in the middle of calling another back when I got her voicemail and another call came in. I was stunned to see that it was Mark because he was en route back from his business trip. For some reason, his corporate travel agent booked his ticket to connect through another city on his way back here, so I assumed that he was being thoughtful and was calling to say hi since his return flight wasn’t due to land until 945 and we wouldn’t talk because he’d get home after my usual bed time.
I answered the call and he said “Sometimes, in March, Fridays come early.” I was like “What are you talking about??” And he told me to go look out my French doors. I got off the couch and looked outside and there he was, standing in the parking lot below my balcony with flowers!!! Turns out, he got 1 of 2 seats that were left on the earlier, direct flight. After clearing security, he had 10 minutes to get to the gate and he saw the flowers and thought that it would be a nice touch to his surprise!!
I told him the code for my back door and he came upstairs and we stood by the back door just hugging for the longest time. After we pried ourselves apart, we sat on the couch for awhile just catching up and talking about the week. I ended up convincing him to spend the night (it was about as tough to convince him to stay as it is to convince a 3 year old to eat a cookie) and we had a great evening together. He slept like a rock; I slept like crap (I wanted to make sure the cat didn’t bother him) – I’m totally exhausted today but it’s worth it!!
I have perma-grin and couldn’t be happier. Had to share!! :) I can’t wait to see him again tonight.
Ugh – but in true Nay fashion, I did something totally unsmooth. Mark was giving me a back rub and I was laying on my stomach and he was sitting on my butt… my hair was all wrapped around my face, so I brought my head up to fling my hair back… but instead totally cracked his forehead with the back of my head!! He has a pretty sizeable bump just over his left eyebrow – it was already showing up last night. I’m totally mortified and feel terrible – it’s even worse b/c he did something so kind, generous and thoughtful and I ended up wounding him!! God, I’m the least cool person ever – will I ever grow out of doing these mortifying, awkward things??
OK, so I feel better… he just sent his usual morning text message saying that it was “so nice to wake up next to [me] this morning … can’t wait to see [me] again tonight.” I think I can let go of the embarrassment… well, maybe just a little bit. Could have been worse I guess – I could have broken his nose!!
All week, I’ve been looking forward to my Friday night date with Mark. He has too – every time we talk on the phone (or in his morning text message) he made a reference about “Is it Friday yet?” or “Can’t wait for Friday.”
I know I have a busy weekend ahead, so because of that I’d planned to have a quiet, uneventful evening relaxing at home and catching up with friends on the phone. After one friend and I hung up, I was in the middle of calling another back when I got her voicemail and another call came in. I was stunned to see that it was Mark because he was en route back from his business trip. For some reason, his corporate travel agent booked his ticket to connect through another city on his way back here, so I assumed that he was being thoughtful and was calling to say hi since his return flight wasn’t due to land until 945 and we wouldn’t talk because he’d get home after my usual bed time.
I answered the call and he said “Sometimes, in March, Fridays come early.” I was like “What are you talking about??” And he told me to go look out my French doors. I got off the couch and looked outside and there he was, standing in the parking lot below my balcony with flowers!!! Turns out, he got 1 of 2 seats that were left on the earlier, direct flight. After clearing security, he had 10 minutes to get to the gate and he saw the flowers and thought that it would be a nice touch to his surprise!!
I told him the code for my back door and he came upstairs and we stood by the back door just hugging for the longest time. After we pried ourselves apart, we sat on the couch for awhile just catching up and talking about the week. I ended up convincing him to spend the night (it was about as tough to convince him to stay as it is to convince a 3 year old to eat a cookie) and we had a great evening together. He slept like a rock; I slept like crap (I wanted to make sure the cat didn’t bother him) – I’m totally exhausted today but it’s worth it!!
I have perma-grin and couldn’t be happier. Had to share!! :) I can’t wait to see him again tonight.
Ugh – but in true Nay fashion, I did something totally unsmooth. Mark was giving me a back rub and I was laying on my stomach and he was sitting on my butt… my hair was all wrapped around my face, so I brought my head up to fling my hair back… but instead totally cracked his forehead with the back of my head!! He has a pretty sizeable bump just over his left eyebrow – it was already showing up last night. I’m totally mortified and feel terrible – it’s even worse b/c he did something so kind, generous and thoughtful and I ended up wounding him!! God, I’m the least cool person ever – will I ever grow out of doing these mortifying, awkward things??
OK, so I feel better… he just sent his usual morning text message saying that it was “so nice to wake up next to [me] this morning … can’t wait to see [me] again tonight.” I think I can let go of the embarrassment… well, maybe just a little bit. Could have been worse I guess – I could have broken his nose!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Update-3.11.08
Ugh.
I swear, this has to be the longest week in the history of time. Either that, or the hours are passing SO slowly because I can't wait to see Mark on Friday. Yes, Friday. A mid-week get-together is out of the question this week because he has a friend in town from the UK tonight, and leaves on business tomorrow, returning late Thursday night.
I'm also bumming because I don't think we'll see that much of each other this weekend. He and I are having dinner on Friday night - but it will be an early night (and will end with each of us in our respective homes) because he has to be up at 5AM on Saturday in order to drive to another major city about 3 hours away to take a physical fitness test for one of his hobbies. He'll be back around 7 on Saturday night, while I'll be out celebrating a dear friend's birthday. There has been talk of us meeting up later in the evening (after I'm done with dinner and out at a bar), or me going there (instead of home) at the end of the night. Oh well - hopefully we can spend some time together on Sunday. The following 2 weekends are out too - I'll be at the beach with my girlfriends over Easter weekend, and the following weekend my parents are here. No, he will not meet my parents - it's WAY too soon for that.
He continues to impress me and let me know that I'm in his thoughts. He called me last night and we talked for an hour and a half. Both days so far this week I've received my "Happy Monday/Tuesday! Hope you have a great day, etc." text message. Those messages are a wonderful way to start the day and definitely put a smile on my face.
I'll stop rambling - this was going to just be a short, update entry. That's officially "the latest" - my fingers are crossed that time stops dragging and Friday evening gets here ASAP!!!
I swear, this has to be the longest week in the history of time. Either that, or the hours are passing SO slowly because I can't wait to see Mark on Friday. Yes, Friday. A mid-week get-together is out of the question this week because he has a friend in town from the UK tonight, and leaves on business tomorrow, returning late Thursday night.
I'm also bumming because I don't think we'll see that much of each other this weekend. He and I are having dinner on Friday night - but it will be an early night (and will end with each of us in our respective homes) because he has to be up at 5AM on Saturday in order to drive to another major city about 3 hours away to take a physical fitness test for one of his hobbies. He'll be back around 7 on Saturday night, while I'll be out celebrating a dear friend's birthday. There has been talk of us meeting up later in the evening (after I'm done with dinner and out at a bar), or me going there (instead of home) at the end of the night. Oh well - hopefully we can spend some time together on Sunday. The following 2 weekends are out too - I'll be at the beach with my girlfriends over Easter weekend, and the following weekend my parents are here. No, he will not meet my parents - it's WAY too soon for that.
He continues to impress me and let me know that I'm in his thoughts. He called me last night and we talked for an hour and a half. Both days so far this week I've received my "Happy Monday/Tuesday! Hope you have a great day, etc." text message. Those messages are a wonderful way to start the day and definitely put a smile on my face.
I'll stop rambling - this was going to just be a short, update entry. That's officially "the latest" - my fingers are crossed that time stops dragging and Friday evening gets here ASAP!!!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Date 9... and 10!!
I've spent A LOT of time with Mark this weekend and I couldn't be happier. I know I'm supposed to be guarded and hesitant, but I can't help myself. I just love spending time with him.
Friday night's date went better than I could have imagined. He picked me up on his way home from work and drove me to the museum where the event was taking place. We had a few drinks and ate appetizers while we listened to the live band. After eating we saw the movie that we had selected earlier in the week. The whole time, he was super affectionate with me and I felt like I had absolute perma-grin. I couldn't stop smiling.
After the movie, we were both starving, so we went to a popular pizza place. We sat outside and ate, just talking and sharing stories. After eating pizza, we started heading back toward my place and I was pleased to see that it was still relatively early - only 10:00. We pulled into my parking lot and kissed in his car for a few moments. It was so cold outside, that we actually started to fog up the windows! In order to not be "that girl" to my neighbors, I invited him upstairs.
We walked into my kitchen, and as soon as the door was locked, it was like a light switched was flipped. Our lips were immediately locked and we couldn't seem to separate ourselves. I'm going to omit details here, but Mark spent the night. However, before you go either a) calling me a hussy or b) giving me a virtual high five (not like we're a bunch of frat boys or anything...) nothing that serious happened (physically) with him. We've definitely mastered to the art of the high school make out session, though! It was so wonderful to wake up next to him on Saturday morning.
We had several good conversations on Friday night as we were lying next to each other. For example, we talked in greater detail about what's-her-name (the woman he bailed on me for 3 years ago), and I got a greater picture of what she is/was like, and why it didn't work out with them (or never, even in the future, would). We also both agreed how we want to take things slowly, not just the physical stuff, but to really get to know one another this time around. It just made me feel so good that we're both on the same page.
He left at 915 on Saturday morning (we both wanted to work out) and as he was leaving, he said that I should give him a call if I wanted to grab a drink after having dinner with my friend that night. Dinner ended up falling through, so as I was sitting down to eat, I was pleasantly surprised to see a text message come in around 645. He wrote to ask me if I'd like to come over for a glass of wine after I was done having dinner with my friend. I called him back, told him that my dinner had been canceled (hee hee, J):), and that I would like to come over. He was also interested in the Netflix movie I had on DVD, so I brought that as well.
We just hung out and talked for awhile and drank wine. Around 9, we turned on the movie (We Are Marshall - great movie, but I cried within the first 28 minutes) and just relaxed together. I ended up spending the night there this time (it was all very innocent this time too) and we went out for breakfast this morning.
I just got home a bit ago and I can't wait to see him again. I just can't believe how well it's going. There are so many things about this situation and him that just fit so well with me - aside from how well our personalities mesh and how supportive he is of me. I love that he has so much going on in his own life - and that he understands how important it is for us to maintain our own interests. That's something I didn't have in past relationships, and I now see how badly I was missing it. I'm also so thankful that he understands (and supports) my need to take things slowly. I can't wait to find out how this unfolds in the coming weeks.
Friday night's date went better than I could have imagined. He picked me up on his way home from work and drove me to the museum where the event was taking place. We had a few drinks and ate appetizers while we listened to the live band. After eating we saw the movie that we had selected earlier in the week. The whole time, he was super affectionate with me and I felt like I had absolute perma-grin. I couldn't stop smiling.
After the movie, we were both starving, so we went to a popular pizza place. We sat outside and ate, just talking and sharing stories. After eating pizza, we started heading back toward my place and I was pleased to see that it was still relatively early - only 10:00. We pulled into my parking lot and kissed in his car for a few moments. It was so cold outside, that we actually started to fog up the windows! In order to not be "that girl" to my neighbors, I invited him upstairs.
We walked into my kitchen, and as soon as the door was locked, it was like a light switched was flipped. Our lips were immediately locked and we couldn't seem to separate ourselves. I'm going to omit details here, but Mark spent the night. However, before you go either a) calling me a hussy or b) giving me a virtual high five (not like we're a bunch of frat boys or anything...) nothing that serious happened (physically) with him. We've definitely mastered to the art of the high school make out session, though! It was so wonderful to wake up next to him on Saturday morning.
We had several good conversations on Friday night as we were lying next to each other. For example, we talked in greater detail about what's-her-name (the woman he bailed on me for 3 years ago), and I got a greater picture of what she is/was like, and why it didn't work out with them (or never, even in the future, would). We also both agreed how we want to take things slowly, not just the physical stuff, but to really get to know one another this time around. It just made me feel so good that we're both on the same page.
He left at 915 on Saturday morning (we both wanted to work out) and as he was leaving, he said that I should give him a call if I wanted to grab a drink after having dinner with my friend that night. Dinner ended up falling through, so as I was sitting down to eat, I was pleasantly surprised to see a text message come in around 645. He wrote to ask me if I'd like to come over for a glass of wine after I was done having dinner with my friend. I called him back, told him that my dinner had been canceled (hee hee, J):), and that I would like to come over. He was also interested in the Netflix movie I had on DVD, so I brought that as well.
We just hung out and talked for awhile and drank wine. Around 9, we turned on the movie (We Are Marshall - great movie, but I cried within the first 28 minutes) and just relaxed together. I ended up spending the night there this time (it was all very innocent this time too) and we went out for breakfast this morning.
I just got home a bit ago and I can't wait to see him again. I just can't believe how well it's going. There are so many things about this situation and him that just fit so well with me - aside from how well our personalities mesh and how supportive he is of me. I love that he has so much going on in his own life - and that he understands how important it is for us to maintain our own interests. That's something I didn't have in past relationships, and I now see how badly I was missing it. I'm also so thankful that he understands (and supports) my need to take things slowly. I can't wait to find out how this unfolds in the coming weeks.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Update-3.7.08
Several of my dear friends/faithful readers have reminded me that I haven't written any updates since Tuesday and that they're curious what's going on with Mark. Since I was out of town Tuesday - Thursday of this week, I don't have a ton to report. We talked every day this week (except Thursday, the night I flew home), and every morning this week I've been greeted by a text message telling me to have a great day, etc. Today's message brought a particularly large smile to my face. It ended with "looking forward to seeing you tonight." Hell yeah! Me too!!
As you can tell, I'm SUPER excited for our date tonight - outfit has been picked out in my mind since Monday. :) When he and I last spoke on Wednesday night and we were discussing plans for tonight, I asked him if he'd pick me up "so it's like a real date" (since, as you may recall, I was a teeny bit bummed that I had to drive over to his place last weekend before we went out). He agreed to pick me up "just like a real date" and is going to come by my place directly after work (it's on his way home and on the way to where we're going and traffic between my condo and his house is hideous). I'm really excited to see him!! The last time I saw him seems like a really long time ago.
I do have one crazy story to share (also from our conversation on Wednesday night). It still blows my mind, and it will be hard to tell and maintain the necessary level of anonymity, but I'll do my best. We were talking about how a lot of people today are naming their kids either really unusual names, or really old names. He asked me what I would have been named if I were a boy. I told him, and turned the question back on him. His answer stunned me... shocked me... and still blows my mind 2 days later it's so hard to believe. It's almost too ironic and I've questioned whether he's bs'ing me - but get this: His first name, had he been a girl, would have been the name of my sister. His middle name would have been my name. The initials would have been the same as his initials currently are (which makes me think it was the truth). Does that make sense?!? Does anyone else think that's just beyond bizarre?
That's all I've got for now... hopefully, I'll have a wonderful time tonight and will have a great update to share tomorrow! Is this work day over YET???
As you can tell, I'm SUPER excited for our date tonight - outfit has been picked out in my mind since Monday. :) When he and I last spoke on Wednesday night and we were discussing plans for tonight, I asked him if he'd pick me up "so it's like a real date" (since, as you may recall, I was a teeny bit bummed that I had to drive over to his place last weekend before we went out). He agreed to pick me up "just like a real date" and is going to come by my place directly after work (it's on his way home and on the way to where we're going and traffic between my condo and his house is hideous). I'm really excited to see him!! The last time I saw him seems like a really long time ago.
I do have one crazy story to share (also from our conversation on Wednesday night). It still blows my mind, and it will be hard to tell and maintain the necessary level of anonymity, but I'll do my best. We were talking about how a lot of people today are naming their kids either really unusual names, or really old names. He asked me what I would have been named if I were a boy. I told him, and turned the question back on him. His answer stunned me... shocked me... and still blows my mind 2 days later it's so hard to believe. It's almost too ironic and I've questioned whether he's bs'ing me - but get this: His first name, had he been a girl, would have been the name of my sister. His middle name would have been my name. The initials would have been the same as his initials currently are (which makes me think it was the truth). Does that make sense?!? Does anyone else think that's just beyond bizarre?
That's all I've got for now... hopefully, I'll have a wonderful time tonight and will have a great update to share tomorrow! Is this work day over YET???
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Update-3.4.08
Mark keeps impressing the hell out of me!!
Monday - First thing in the morning, I received a text telling me to have a great start to the work week. We exchanged a few emails during the day - he's already making plans (buying tickets) for our date on Friday! And he called me on Monday night on his way home after having a drink with a friend.
Tuesday - Today I left town for a business trip until Thursday. I was having the world's crappiest morning (I lost my favorite ring in the parking deck) until I received another nice text message from Mark, this one telling me to have a safe flight and a great day. So nice!
I had a realization last night after Mark and I got off the phone. I noticed that I don't really say much, or volunteer much about myself (my day, my feelings, what I have going on in my life) when we talk. After making this observation, I've spent a good deal of time thinking about why I'm doing this. I think I do this so that I can stay guarded, and not put too much of myself out there. Anyone who knows me, knows how absurd that is. The acronym TMI (too much information) might has well have been coined so it could be applied to my rambling stories and overshares.
It would be crazy for me to say that now, going forward, I'm going to show Mark who I truly am - a chatterbox who can't tell a story without giving WAY too many details. I don't think it will be that easy for me to break down the wall. But I can't help be curious - now that I'm conscious of it, how will my interactions with him change?
Monday - First thing in the morning, I received a text telling me to have a great start to the work week. We exchanged a few emails during the day - he's already making plans (buying tickets) for our date on Friday! And he called me on Monday night on his way home after having a drink with a friend.
Tuesday - Today I left town for a business trip until Thursday. I was having the world's crappiest morning (I lost my favorite ring in the parking deck) until I received another nice text message from Mark, this one telling me to have a safe flight and a great day. So nice!
I had a realization last night after Mark and I got off the phone. I noticed that I don't really say much, or volunteer much about myself (my day, my feelings, what I have going on in my life) when we talk. After making this observation, I've spent a good deal of time thinking about why I'm doing this. I think I do this so that I can stay guarded, and not put too much of myself out there. Anyone who knows me, knows how absurd that is. The acronym TMI (too much information) might has well have been coined so it could be applied to my rambling stories and overshares.
It would be crazy for me to say that now, going forward, I'm going to show Mark who I truly am - a chatterbox who can't tell a story without giving WAY too many details. I don't think it will be that easy for me to break down the wall. But I can't help be curious - now that I'm conscious of it, how will my interactions with him change?
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Date 9: Cheesecake, wine and another great time
I had my second date with Mark (well, second date this time around) last night and it went really well - again. We met at his house at 7 (I think he was excited to show me the home renovations he's done since the last time I was there) and he drove us over to a great Thai noodle restaurant. Dinner was great - we had awesome conversation the whole time.
After dinner, he drove us to another part of town where we had several glasses of wine and shared a piece of cheesecake for dessert. We sat at this place, just talking, for over three hours. We were seated on a glassed in sun porch, enjoying our wine and talking, and there were a few awkward silences. He filled the first one by kissing me, and so there were several instances where we were "those people" smooching in public. Luckily, the sun porch there were only two other couples on the sun porch, and they weren't seated close by.
There were several really good conversations that happened over wine, including a talk about how we are going to have to take things slowly. I told him point blank that slow was the way it was going to be, and his response was that we had plenty of time and that there was no need to rush. He also expressed his gratitude, again, for getting a second chance with me.
After wine and dessert, we drove back to Mark's house and he showed me amazing photos from his travels, including an unbelievable trip to Antarctica. We kissed for awhile, and around 145 he walked me to my car and I drove home.
After dinner, on the way to the second restaurant, he asked if he can take me out next Friday night - we're going to a popular cocktail and entertainment event at a local museum. Toward the end of the evening, he also asked if he could see me again today, maybe something casual, like Starbucks. I told him I'd need to see about that. I'm not overly keen on seeing him today - it seems too much too soon.
Overall, I'm feeling good about things, but I can't quite silence the paranoid voice in the back of my head and the feeling in my gut. My parents expressed some hesitation about this whole "second round" with Mark, and while I know I need to make my own decisions, I can't help but wonder if I'm being naive to the entire thing and whether I'm setting myself up for another huge disappointment.
I'm trying to stay in the moment and just focus on having fun. I'll know all the answers with time. As long as it's fun and I feel comfortable with him, I'll just continue to explore the possibilities.
After dinner, he drove us to another part of town where we had several glasses of wine and shared a piece of cheesecake for dessert. We sat at this place, just talking, for over three hours. We were seated on a glassed in sun porch, enjoying our wine and talking, and there were a few awkward silences. He filled the first one by kissing me, and so there were several instances where we were "those people" smooching in public. Luckily, the sun porch there were only two other couples on the sun porch, and they weren't seated close by.
There were several really good conversations that happened over wine, including a talk about how we are going to have to take things slowly. I told him point blank that slow was the way it was going to be, and his response was that we had plenty of time and that there was no need to rush. He also expressed his gratitude, again, for getting a second chance with me.
After wine and dessert, we drove back to Mark's house and he showed me amazing photos from his travels, including an unbelievable trip to Antarctica. We kissed for awhile, and around 145 he walked me to my car and I drove home.
After dinner, on the way to the second restaurant, he asked if he can take me out next Friday night - we're going to a popular cocktail and entertainment event at a local museum. Toward the end of the evening, he also asked if he could see me again today, maybe something casual, like Starbucks. I told him I'd need to see about that. I'm not overly keen on seeing him today - it seems too much too soon.
Overall, I'm feeling good about things, but I can't quite silence the paranoid voice in the back of my head and the feeling in my gut. My parents expressed some hesitation about this whole "second round" with Mark, and while I know I need to make my own decisions, I can't help but wonder if I'm being naive to the entire thing and whether I'm setting myself up for another huge disappointment.
I'm trying to stay in the moment and just focus on having fun. I'll know all the answers with time. As long as it's fun and I feel comfortable with him, I'll just continue to explore the possibilities.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Date 8: Eight is Great...Sparks Fly!
The short of last night is this: I had an amazing, wonderful, awesome time and feel like I could go on about it for hours!
I arrived a few minutes late because traffic was terrible. I left my car with the valet because I didn't see any street spots in the immediate vicinity of the restaurant. I opened the front door and there he was, right there at the bar, sipping a glass of wine. Mark turned as I opened the door and we made immediate eye contact and he stood up and we hugged (that "what to do?" concern was off the list of things to worry about!). As I sat down next to him, I could tell that I wasn't the only one who was nervous (more on that later!!). Despite being nervous, the conversation flowed like it always did. No silences, no awkward interruption - just really good conversation and sharing stories with one another.
After we each finished our glass of wine, we went across the street to the Italian restaurant (turns out he had called and made 900 reservations earlier in the day). We got there a bit before 9 and the place was completely packed, so we went to a bar close by and had another drink while we waited - all the while talking and catching up about really light topics (travels, work stories, family stuff).
When we returned to the Italian restaurant, we were seated and shared an appetizer and 2 entrees (YUM - great food!). This whole time talking, talking, talking...
toward the end of the meal IT came up - the elephant in the room - what the heck happened three years ago. He was very sincere and apologetic to me in his explanation: The woman (he referenced when he broke things off with me) moved back here and he thought she was perfect for him (physically, personality-wise, hobbies, etc.). He said that they dated for a few months and he learned her true colors and really regretted letting me go. He actually said "I'm so sorry." I was floored.
Then I asked him what made him initiate contact with me and he told me that he almost didn't because he didn't think in a million years that I'd respond to him. His answer left me a bit speechless - he initiated contact with me because I've always been in the back of his mind these last few years. He said he found himself thinking of me, little thoughtful things I did for him, how I truly "got" him, and how, in his travels, he'd often find himself places that he wished he could experience with me. WHOA. And then he said that he is so graetful to be getting a second chance, if that's what this is. And I was honest with him - I said I didn't fully trust him anymore and he replied back that he was willing to work hard to earn my trust. I could see the sincerity in his eyes - or he's a stellar actor.
So he asked me out for Saturday night and we're both looking forward to not having to cut our time together "short." By this time it was after 12, and we were the only ones left in the restaurant, except the owner. I got my car out of the valet and drove him to his car and we exchanged the usual "I had a great time" "so did I" etc. pleasantries. Then, we kissed. Not heavy making out kissing, but really nice, sweet, super intimate kisses. And as he pulled away he kissed me on the forehead and paused there for a few seconds before pulling away. Seriously, it was like out of a movie or something - that moment was totally not my life.
Imagine my surprise this morning, as I'm sitting here, writing this, when a new text is delivered to my phone: Good morning, Happy Friday! :) Had a wonderful time last night and looking forward to spending more time together on Saturday. Have a great day!!
Sigh. :) But I must also remember to stay guarded... I can't let myself to trust him too much just yet...
I arrived a few minutes late because traffic was terrible. I left my car with the valet because I didn't see any street spots in the immediate vicinity of the restaurant. I opened the front door and there he was, right there at the bar, sipping a glass of wine. Mark turned as I opened the door and we made immediate eye contact and he stood up and we hugged (that "what to do?" concern was off the list of things to worry about!). As I sat down next to him, I could tell that I wasn't the only one who was nervous (more on that later!!). Despite being nervous, the conversation flowed like it always did. No silences, no awkward interruption - just really good conversation and sharing stories with one another.
After we each finished our glass of wine, we went across the street to the Italian restaurant (turns out he had called and made 900 reservations earlier in the day). We got there a bit before 9 and the place was completely packed, so we went to a bar close by and had another drink while we waited - all the while talking and catching up about really light topics (travels, work stories, family stuff).
When we returned to the Italian restaurant, we were seated and shared an appetizer and 2 entrees (YUM - great food!). This whole time talking, talking, talking...
toward the end of the meal IT came up - the elephant in the room - what the heck happened three years ago. He was very sincere and apologetic to me in his explanation: The woman (he referenced when he broke things off with me) moved back here and he thought she was perfect for him (physically, personality-wise, hobbies, etc.). He said that they dated for a few months and he learned her true colors and really regretted letting me go. He actually said "I'm so sorry." I was floored.
Then I asked him what made him initiate contact with me and he told me that he almost didn't because he didn't think in a million years that I'd respond to him. His answer left me a bit speechless - he initiated contact with me because I've always been in the back of his mind these last few years. He said he found himself thinking of me, little thoughtful things I did for him, how I truly "got" him, and how, in his travels, he'd often find himself places that he wished he could experience with me. WHOA. And then he said that he is so graetful to be getting a second chance, if that's what this is. And I was honest with him - I said I didn't fully trust him anymore and he replied back that he was willing to work hard to earn my trust. I could see the sincerity in his eyes - or he's a stellar actor.
So he asked me out for Saturday night and we're both looking forward to not having to cut our time together "short." By this time it was after 12, and we were the only ones left in the restaurant, except the owner. I got my car out of the valet and drove him to his car and we exchanged the usual "I had a great time" "so did I" etc. pleasantries. Then, we kissed. Not heavy making out kissing, but really nice, sweet, super intimate kisses. And as he pulled away he kissed me on the forehead and paused there for a few seconds before pulling away. Seriously, it was like out of a movie or something - that moment was totally not my life.
Imagine my surprise this morning, as I'm sitting here, writing this, when a new text is delivered to my phone: Good morning, Happy Friday! :) Had a wonderful time last night and looking forward to spending more time together on Saturday. Have a great day!!
Sigh. :) But I must also remember to stay guarded... I can't let myself to trust him too much just yet...
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Update-2.28.08
I'm all set for my date with Mark tonight. We're meeting at this restaurant at 730 for a drink and then we'll go across the street to another restaurant for dinner - either Italian or sushi. I'm so excited, but there's a shadow of hesitation lurking behind the glow of excitement. I do not want to get hurt again.
I must say, though, Mark impressed the heck out of me yesterday morning. As I wrote in my last entry, he kind of cut our conversation off rather abruptly at 1115 on Tuesday night. And yes, I was somewhat bummed as I was willing to forgo sleep in favor of catching up with him. So, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to receive an email from him mid- morning on Wednesday, apologizing for cutting our conversation short. It was a nice email, he sent me a link to a web site we'd been discussing, and reiterated that he was looking forward to seeing me on Thursday. Yay!
Is this day over yet??? I can't wait to see how tonight goes!
I must say, though, Mark impressed the heck out of me yesterday morning. As I wrote in my last entry, he kind of cut our conversation off rather abruptly at 1115 on Tuesday night. And yes, I was somewhat bummed as I was willing to forgo sleep in favor of catching up with him. So, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to receive an email from him mid- morning on Wednesday, apologizing for cutting our conversation short. It was a nice email, he sent me a link to a web site we'd been discussing, and reiterated that he was looking forward to seeing me on Thursday. Yay!
Is this day over yet??? I can't wait to see how tonight goes!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Update-2.27.08
Mark and I finally talked last night. And the guarded side of me and the excited side of me are having seriously conflicting responses. The guarded side is saying: Dammit… it went REALLY well. The guarded side is saying: Wooo Hooo!!! IT WENT REALLY WELL!!
He called at 940 and we talked until 1115! We had so much to talk about – he did a lot of the talking, but asked thoughtful questions of me when appropriate. I was also tired, buzzed (I'd had some girlfriends over earlier in the evening for wine and appetizers) and not feeling overly talkative at that point in the evening. And Mark has a lot of interesting stories from his world travels the last few years.
At 1115, he ended the conversation, saying something along the lines of “It’s probably past both of our bed times and I think we both know what could happen if we stay on the phone," alluding to our 5 hour phone conversation the very first time we spoke back in 2004. He’s just so easy to talk to, and it was like no time had passed – it reminded me of when I talk to this one, certain friend from college. She lives in Colorado and we talk maybe once a year and we can just pick up where we left off. That’s how it was with Mark last night – no awkwardness (I think he may have been a bit nervous in the beginning) and just lots of banter and talking.
So we’re on for Thursday night at 730. That way, he and I can both work out.
He said one thing that made me particularly nervous though – in reference to his job and how he’s unhappy there and how he gets a monthly call from two very popular, West coast technology companies to come work for them… out West. It leaves me hesitant to even consider anything with him – would he pull that same BS disappearing act?? When I found myself getting in my head over that question last night after the call ended, I reminded myself that Thursday is only DRINKS (and maybe dinner) and that I may not even feel the same spark/chemistry in person – one day at a time.
He called at 940 and we talked until 1115! We had so much to talk about – he did a lot of the talking, but asked thoughtful questions of me when appropriate. I was also tired, buzzed (I'd had some girlfriends over earlier in the evening for wine and appetizers) and not feeling overly talkative at that point in the evening. And Mark has a lot of interesting stories from his world travels the last few years.
At 1115, he ended the conversation, saying something along the lines of “It’s probably past both of our bed times and I think we both know what could happen if we stay on the phone," alluding to our 5 hour phone conversation the very first time we spoke back in 2004. He’s just so easy to talk to, and it was like no time had passed – it reminded me of when I talk to this one, certain friend from college. She lives in Colorado and we talk maybe once a year and we can just pick up where we left off. That’s how it was with Mark last night – no awkwardness (I think he may have been a bit nervous in the beginning) and just lots of banter and talking.
So we’re on for Thursday night at 730. That way, he and I can both work out.
He said one thing that made me particularly nervous though – in reference to his job and how he’s unhappy there and how he gets a monthly call from two very popular, West coast technology companies to come work for them… out West. It leaves me hesitant to even consider anything with him – would he pull that same BS disappearing act?? When I found myself getting in my head over that question last night after the call ended, I reminded myself that Thursday is only DRINKS (and maybe dinner) and that I may not even feel the same spark/chemistry in person – one day at a time.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Update-2.26.08
If you could get awards for life in general, I'd get an "A" for last night's efforts in distracting myself.
I was fully expecting Mark to call me since I gave him my number earlier in the day via email and told him to call me to figure out our plans for getting together this week. I got home from work, ran nearly six miles (it was gorgeous outside!), stretched, stretched, showered, cooked dinner, cleaned up around the house, watched Law & Order, paid bills, read, surfed around on the Internet... anything to keep my mind off the fact that my phone hadn't rung.
Finally, at 10, I was exhausted and couldn't stay awake any longer. I went to bed and I'll admit it, I was totally bummed that I hadn't heard from him. While brushing my teeth, I gave myself a little pep talk - He wasn't OBLIGATED to call me, he'd probably call on Tuesday night. I fell asleep relatively quickly, but remembered waking up in the middle of the night and being disappointed that my phone wasn't blinking red to indicate a missed call or message.
After I was ready for work this morning, I had a few minutes before I needed to leave the house so I logged on my personal email. And there it was!! :) He sent an email at 10:30 apologizing for not calling me. Turns out, his colleagues from the West coast were in town - they went to happy hour which turned into dinner and he got home late and didn't want to call me past 10. He said he'd call me tonight.
I know I'm supposed to be guarded and have a super thick wall up... but I can't help feeling really excited. YAY!!!
Oh yeah, and we're on for drinks on Thursday night!! Now the important question - what to wear???
I was fully expecting Mark to call me since I gave him my number earlier in the day via email and told him to call me to figure out our plans for getting together this week. I got home from work, ran nearly six miles (it was gorgeous outside!), stretched, stretched, showered, cooked dinner, cleaned up around the house, watched Law & Order, paid bills, read, surfed around on the Internet... anything to keep my mind off the fact that my phone hadn't rung.
Finally, at 10, I was exhausted and couldn't stay awake any longer. I went to bed and I'll admit it, I was totally bummed that I hadn't heard from him. While brushing my teeth, I gave myself a little pep talk - He wasn't OBLIGATED to call me, he'd probably call on Tuesday night. I fell asleep relatively quickly, but remembered waking up in the middle of the night and being disappointed that my phone wasn't blinking red to indicate a missed call or message.
After I was ready for work this morning, I had a few minutes before I needed to leave the house so I logged on my personal email. And there it was!! :) He sent an email at 10:30 apologizing for not calling me. Turns out, his colleagues from the West coast were in town - they went to happy hour which turned into dinner and he got home late and didn't want to call me past 10. He said he'd call me tonight.
I know I'm supposed to be guarded and have a super thick wall up... but I can't help feeling really excited. YAY!!!
Oh yeah, and we're on for drinks on Thursday night!! Now the important question - what to wear???
Monday, February 25, 2008
Update-2.25.08
I had to make myself go to bed last night in order to get myself to stop obsessively checking my email. As I was sitting in the car this morning, waiting for it to warm up, I checked my email on my BlackBerry. And there it was... Mark's REPLY!!
I was so excited I immediately got all nervous again and I dropped the BlackBerry into my lap. He sent the reply at 1020, just 20 minutes after I went into the bedroom and refused myself another log in.
Mark's email made me miss him all over again. He's one of those people that writes just like he talks - you feel like you're having a verbal conversation, even though you're only reading his words. He asked me several questions and told me about some of the exciting stuff he's had going on the last few years. Then he suggested that we grab drinks later this week because he'd "love to catch up." He included his number at the end of his email.
I don't think I should be the one to call first, so I'm working on a reply that I'll send from work today. I'll agree to drinks and include my number.
I'm trying to be guarded and not overly excited about the whole thing, but I can't help myself. Writing him back is just so easy. The initial email was tough because I was worried he didn't know it was me. But with this second message, I haven't agonized over my words and what to say the way I have with some of these other guys. Even writing to Casey wasn't this easy. I remember that Mark and I always had really witty banter - over email and in person. So we'll see where this goes. When we get together in person, I'm going to ask him what the heck happened three years ago. Even if nothing happens between us, I'll finally get the answer I've been looking for all this time.
I was so excited I immediately got all nervous again and I dropped the BlackBerry into my lap. He sent the reply at 1020, just 20 minutes after I went into the bedroom and refused myself another log in.
Mark's email made me miss him all over again. He's one of those people that writes just like he talks - you feel like you're having a verbal conversation, even though you're only reading his words. He asked me several questions and told me about some of the exciting stuff he's had going on the last few years. Then he suggested that we grab drinks later this week because he'd "love to catch up." He included his number at the end of his email.
I don't think I should be the one to call first, so I'm working on a reply that I'll send from work today. I'll agree to drinks and include my number.
I'm trying to be guarded and not overly excited about the whole thing, but I can't help myself. Writing him back is just so easy. The initial email was tough because I was worried he didn't know it was me. But with this second message, I haven't agonized over my words and what to say the way I have with some of these other guys. Even writing to Casey wasn't this easy. I remember that Mark and I always had really witty banter - over email and in person. So we'll see where this goes. When we get together in person, I'm going to ask him what the heck happened three years ago. Even if nothing happens between us, I'll finally get the answer I've been looking for all this time.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Update-2.24.08 Part II
I am riddled with anxiety. Butterflies have taken over my stomach and are flying around so much I'm queasy. I sent the email to Mark about 3 hours ago and I haven't heard anything back yet.
I realize it's Sunday - he could be out running, having dinner with friends, doing errands... there are a million things that he could be doing instead of sitting in front of his computer. But the suspense is KILLING ME.
My email to him was very casual. Here's basically what I wrote (since I've already been asked three times):
What a pleasant surprise to see a familiar face on [the dating site]! :)Sounds like you’re doing great! [Next I asked him several specific questions - if he still works for the same company, lives in the same part of town, etc.] I’d love to hear what’s new with you.
[Here I briefly told him about buying my new place 2 years ago and where I'm currently working and how much I enjoy my job].
I hope you had a great weekend! I look forward to hearing back from you. Feel free to email me at [my personal email address].
So, here I sit. Obsessively checking my Inbox and trying to distract myself with the gowns on the Red Carpet at the Oscars. Fingers crossed that the reply comes sooner rather than later.
I realize it's Sunday - he could be out running, having dinner with friends, doing errands... there are a million things that he could be doing instead of sitting in front of his computer. But the suspense is KILLING ME.
My email to him was very casual. Here's basically what I wrote (since I've already been asked three times):
What a pleasant surprise to see a familiar face on [the dating site]! :)Sounds like you’re doing great! [Next I asked him several specific questions - if he still works for the same company, lives in the same part of town, etc.] I’d love to hear what’s new with you.
[Here I briefly told him about buying my new place 2 years ago and where I'm currently working and how much I enjoy my job].
I hope you had a great weekend! I look forward to hearing back from you. Feel free to email me at [my personal email address].
So, here I sit. Obsessively checking my Inbox and trying to distract myself with the gowns on the Red Carpet at the Oscars. Fingers crossed that the reply comes sooner rather than later.
Update-2.24.08
My friend J joked earlier this week about taking bets as to whether my date with Brian would actually, finally happen. She really should have done it because at this point, she's have some extra cash in hand.
My plan on Friday afternoon was to call Brian at 4:30 to set a time and place, if I hadn't heard from him first. I got back to my desk at 4:15 and saw that my phone was blinking red - a new text message. His text said the following "This meeting started at 2 - happy hour looking very iffy. Are you going to be out tonite? I think we'll be in X" (name of part of town).
I was shocked, but not really. Exasperated is probably a better word for how I felt. That had to be one HELL of a meeting that starts at 2 on a Friday and that would make happy hour an impossibility. Did I really believe that?
I emailed several girlfriends with the latest Brian update. They wrote back expressing a variety of sentiments - from "F him!" to "Maybe you should meet up with him later." One wise friend was quick to express that Brian is an ass because he already had plans scheduled for after our happy hour date - it was like he double booked himself for the evening. That hadn't crossed my mind until she pointed it out. What an excellent point! SO RUDE of him!
I texted him back that I was going to have drinks with some coworkers, but I may meet up with friends at a certain bar a bit later, but it wouldn't be a late night. I told him if he was in the area to let me know. I never heard from him that night, and I'm alright with that. Obviously meeting me is not a huge priority for him. And he just started a new job - he doesn't have the time to date, much less be in a relationship - which is ultimately what I'm looking for. I'm finished making the effort to meet Brian. No hard feelings, he's just clearly not for me.
So...many people are curious about the latest with Mark. We went through a few more stages of communication this weekend and now it's up to me to send the initial email to him through the system. In order to avoid looking too eager, I'm waiting 'til this evening to send it.
I had a bit of a freak out yesterday when I read his answers to the questions I provided to him. He gave me A LOT of background to some answers, delving into his history - things we talked a lot about and things I know were important to him. With the way he was providing all this information, the anxiety came back - did he not know it is me that he's communicating with??!!??
At a party last night, I picked my friend's husband's brain about the Mark situation and my concern. He is certain that Mark knows it's me. He said there is absolutely, positively no way he doesn't know. I've felt MUCH better about this Mark thing since that discussion. And I guess I'll have the official answer once I send the email to Mark tonight. I'm kind of nervous...
My plan on Friday afternoon was to call Brian at 4:30 to set a time and place, if I hadn't heard from him first. I got back to my desk at 4:15 and saw that my phone was blinking red - a new text message. His text said the following "This meeting started at 2 - happy hour looking very iffy. Are you going to be out tonite? I think we'll be in X" (name of part of town).
I was shocked, but not really. Exasperated is probably a better word for how I felt. That had to be one HELL of a meeting that starts at 2 on a Friday and that would make happy hour an impossibility. Did I really believe that?
I emailed several girlfriends with the latest Brian update. They wrote back expressing a variety of sentiments - from "F him!" to "Maybe you should meet up with him later." One wise friend was quick to express that Brian is an ass because he already had plans scheduled for after our happy hour date - it was like he double booked himself for the evening. That hadn't crossed my mind until she pointed it out. What an excellent point! SO RUDE of him!
I texted him back that I was going to have drinks with some coworkers, but I may meet up with friends at a certain bar a bit later, but it wouldn't be a late night. I told him if he was in the area to let me know. I never heard from him that night, and I'm alright with that. Obviously meeting me is not a huge priority for him. And he just started a new job - he doesn't have the time to date, much less be in a relationship - which is ultimately what I'm looking for. I'm finished making the effort to meet Brian. No hard feelings, he's just clearly not for me.
So...many people are curious about the latest with Mark. We went through a few more stages of communication this weekend and now it's up to me to send the initial email to him through the system. In order to avoid looking too eager, I'm waiting 'til this evening to send it.
I had a bit of a freak out yesterday when I read his answers to the questions I provided to him. He gave me A LOT of background to some answers, delving into his history - things we talked a lot about and things I know were important to him. With the way he was providing all this information, the anxiety came back - did he not know it is me that he's communicating with??!!??
At a party last night, I picked my friend's husband's brain about the Mark situation and my concern. He is certain that Mark knows it's me. He said there is absolutely, positively no way he doesn't know. I've felt MUCH better about this Mark thing since that discussion. And I guess I'll have the official answer once I send the email to Mark tonight. I'm kind of nervous...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Update-2.21.08
After a wonderful dinner with a close friend last night, I went home and logged onto the Site. Once on the site, I did the next two steps quickly and with minimal thought, like tearing off a Band-Aid. I don't know why I was in such a hurry, I just was. Maybe I didn't want to allow myself time to overthink everything? I answered Mark's multiple choice questions quickly. I knew what my answers were without really even thinking about them because I've received all the questions from various guys before. Then I clicked on the button to send him the five standard multiple choice questions that I send to all guys.
I immediately had an "OH CRAP" moment after I clicked on the Send Questions button. One of them asks to pick the best option that describes his parents' relationship. I already KNOW the deal with his parents' relationship. They are divorced and it wasn't a good situation. He more or less can't stand his father. I immediately felt like an ass for sending that question to him and wondered what he'd think when he saw it.
I was floored when, an hour later, I received an email notification that he had replied with his answers. His answers were pretty much what I knew they'd be. But the way in which he explained the situation with his parents makes me worry that he doesn't really know it's ME that he's communicating with. But how could he NOT?? I mean, dating for 8 weeks just over 3 years ago is most likely just a slight blip on his dating radar, but could he not remember me at all? Is it possible that my slightly unusual name, my photos, my mention of where I'm from and the things I'm interested didn't resonate with him at all? It seems so far fetched... he would have had to have suffered blunt head trauma (or be a total idiot) for that to be the case. Right???
The next step in communication falls to me. I owe him a reply tonight and will do so after the gym and dinner. My wise sister told me that I am limited to one step in communication per day. A wise friend agreed and said to do otherwise would make me appear overeager. Stellar points ladies!
No word from any of the other potential guys on the horizon, not counting Brian. After rescheduling our date for Friday, I don't expect to hear from him 'til tomorrow when we pick a time and place. I'm excited to meet him - and see what he looks like and learn more about him - tomorrow! I'm trying so hard not to get too caught up in this ridiculously wild and crazy Mark situation. I need to not let it take over my thoughts and dating efforts.
I immediately had an "OH CRAP" moment after I clicked on the Send Questions button. One of them asks to pick the best option that describes his parents' relationship. I already KNOW the deal with his parents' relationship. They are divorced and it wasn't a good situation. He more or less can't stand his father. I immediately felt like an ass for sending that question to him and wondered what he'd think when he saw it.
I was floored when, an hour later, I received an email notification that he had replied with his answers. His answers were pretty much what I knew they'd be. But the way in which he explained the situation with his parents makes me worry that he doesn't really know it's ME that he's communicating with. But how could he NOT?? I mean, dating for 8 weeks just over 3 years ago is most likely just a slight blip on his dating radar, but could he not remember me at all? Is it possible that my slightly unusual name, my photos, my mention of where I'm from and the things I'm interested didn't resonate with him at all? It seems so far fetched... he would have had to have suffered blunt head trauma (or be a total idiot) for that to be the case. Right???
The next step in communication falls to me. I owe him a reply tonight and will do so after the gym and dinner. My wise sister told me that I am limited to one step in communication per day. A wise friend agreed and said to do otherwise would make me appear overeager. Stellar points ladies!
No word from any of the other potential guys on the horizon, not counting Brian. After rescheduling our date for Friday, I don't expect to hear from him 'til tomorrow when we pick a time and place. I'm excited to meet him - and see what he looks like and learn more about him - tomorrow! I'm trying so hard not to get too caught up in this ridiculously wild and crazy Mark situation. I need to not let it take over my thoughts and dating efforts.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Update-2.20.08
It happened...again! Why am I even surprised?
Brian called a bit ago to tell me that his flight home from DC is delayed due to weather. We rescheduled our date for the 100th time for this Friday night. Sigh. Am I ever going to meet him??
On a positive note, he called me. He didn't text... didn't email. CALLED. LIVE. ON THE PHONE. In this age of Text Kings and e-mail reliant suitors, Brian gets bonus points for actually picking up the phone and talking to me live. Even better, he's got a great voice - deep, very articulate, no strong accent. Friday should be fun - and I find that I'm even more excited than I was before now that I can put a voice with his name and email address.
With my newly found spare time this evening, after I breeze through Filene's, I'll be meeting a friend for dinner to discuss (pick apart, overanalyze, etc.) :) the Mark situation. I've decided that I'm going to respond to him, probably tonight when I get home from dinner.
Brian called a bit ago to tell me that his flight home from DC is delayed due to weather. We rescheduled our date for the 100th time for this Friday night. Sigh. Am I ever going to meet him??
On a positive note, he called me. He didn't text... didn't email. CALLED. LIVE. ON THE PHONE. In this age of Text Kings and e-mail reliant suitors, Brian gets bonus points for actually picking up the phone and talking to me live. Even better, he's got a great voice - deep, very articulate, no strong accent. Friday should be fun - and I find that I'm even more excited than I was before now that I can put a voice with his name and email address.
With my newly found spare time this evening, after I breeze through Filene's, I'll be meeting a friend for dinner to discuss (pick apart, overanalyze, etc.) :) the Mark situation. I've decided that I'm going to respond to him, probably tonight when I get home from dinner.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Update-2.19.08
HOLY CRAP!!
It figures, it absolutely, totally figures!! GET THIS: Tonight, I cancelled my membership and automatic renewal for the dating site. I've been unimpressed with the matches and figured I'd join up again when the weather turns warm and people are out and about and thinking about dating. Until my membership expires on February 25, I will still receive matches and can communicate with them. Well, I was all ready to say "sayonara dating site" until about 25 minutes ago. I got an email notification that I had a new match. His name, Mark, age 33 and living in my same city. My stomach immediately dropped - could it possibly be??? No way - there was just no way! I scanned his profile summary and more butterflies moved into my stomach - there were too many similarities for it NOT to be him. The profile summary didn't show his photo, so I logged into the site in record time in order to see if this really was happening. I soon had my answer - it, without a doubt, totally was him.
Nay, Who the heck is "him?" I'll try to keep this brief: I met Mark in October of 2004 through another popular dating site. He had just moved to town earlier that year and had told me that he hadn't seriously dated anyone since he arrived. We had the most unbelievable chemistry and the first time we spoke on the phone it was for five (yes, five!) hours. The very next day we met for coffee, which turned into drinks, which turned into dinner. Before I knew it, I was a smitten kitten, things were progressing nicely, and we'd both taken our profiles off the dating site. For New Years Mark went to New Orleans with friends and called me hourly to tell me he was thinking of me. I felt like I'd won the lottery - I was so happy. I picked him up at the airport the next day and we had a great evening together. Then he called two days later and told me (OVER THE PHONE - which he admitted was a cowardly thing to do) that he couldn't see me anymore, that a woman he dated when he first moved down here had moved back to town and he wanted to give things a shot with her. I was devastated - my heart was beyond broken.
The only silver lining to the whole thing was that I lost about 10 lbs in 2 weeks. :) Anyway, I ended up seeing his profile posted back on the same dating Web site several weeks later. I haven't had any communication with him since a final email I sent to him a week after that heartbreaking phone call. He emailed me nine months later and was asking how I was doing, and I deleted it, as I was happily dating my most recent ex.
I've speculated a million times over what he lied to me about: 1) that he dated someone seriously or 2)that this woman ever even existed and he needed an "out" (odds were very good that he was going to be transferred to Seattle for his job).
So I read his profile and looked at his photos and he doesn't seem to have changed a bit. He still has an unbelievable smile that makes his eyes sparkle, and his body is still in fantastic shape from running marathons. The statements in his profile make me miss him and what we had together, and then I find that I'm angry with myself for not being like "screw you, ahole!" and closing him.
But the irony of all this is NOT lost on me: the fact that I had just closed my account tonight, that I've been thinking of him a lot lately (yes, I will even admit to a single instance of a "drive by" the week of my birthday - I was curious to see if he still lived in the same house) including earlier tonight, when I first got home from the gym (before I'd even closed my account). I'm stunned. That's the only way to describe what I'm feeling.
I haven't responded to his request to communicate yet. I need to give it a day or so to sink in. Also, I'm finally having drinks with Brian (friend of coworker) tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it - we've been trying to get together since DECEMBER. This is long overdue.
So, my friends, toss your comments and advice my way. Those who knew me back when the Mark thing happened will surely be floored and likely be anxious to share their $0.02. My mom was speechless (which, if you know her, is monumental). I'll write again soon with an update on my date with Brian.
It figures, it absolutely, totally figures!! GET THIS: Tonight, I cancelled my membership and automatic renewal for the dating site. I've been unimpressed with the matches and figured I'd join up again when the weather turns warm and people are out and about and thinking about dating. Until my membership expires on February 25, I will still receive matches and can communicate with them. Well, I was all ready to say "sayonara dating site" until about 25 minutes ago. I got an email notification that I had a new match. His name, Mark, age 33 and living in my same city. My stomach immediately dropped - could it possibly be??? No way - there was just no way! I scanned his profile summary and more butterflies moved into my stomach - there were too many similarities for it NOT to be him. The profile summary didn't show his photo, so I logged into the site in record time in order to see if this really was happening. I soon had my answer - it, without a doubt, totally was him.
Nay, Who the heck is "him?" I'll try to keep this brief: I met Mark in October of 2004 through another popular dating site. He had just moved to town earlier that year and had told me that he hadn't seriously dated anyone since he arrived. We had the most unbelievable chemistry and the first time we spoke on the phone it was for five (yes, five!) hours. The very next day we met for coffee, which turned into drinks, which turned into dinner. Before I knew it, I was a smitten kitten, things were progressing nicely, and we'd both taken our profiles off the dating site. For New Years Mark went to New Orleans with friends and called me hourly to tell me he was thinking of me. I felt like I'd won the lottery - I was so happy. I picked him up at the airport the next day and we had a great evening together. Then he called two days later and told me (OVER THE PHONE - which he admitted was a cowardly thing to do) that he couldn't see me anymore, that a woman he dated when he first moved down here had moved back to town and he wanted to give things a shot with her. I was devastated - my heart was beyond broken.
The only silver lining to the whole thing was that I lost about 10 lbs in 2 weeks. :) Anyway, I ended up seeing his profile posted back on the same dating Web site several weeks later. I haven't had any communication with him since a final email I sent to him a week after that heartbreaking phone call. He emailed me nine months later and was asking how I was doing, and I deleted it, as I was happily dating my most recent ex.
I've speculated a million times over what he lied to me about: 1) that he dated someone seriously or 2)that this woman ever even existed and he needed an "out" (odds were very good that he was going to be transferred to Seattle for his job).
So I read his profile and looked at his photos and he doesn't seem to have changed a bit. He still has an unbelievable smile that makes his eyes sparkle, and his body is still in fantastic shape from running marathons. The statements in his profile make me miss him and what we had together, and then I find that I'm angry with myself for not being like "screw you, ahole!" and closing him.
But the irony of all this is NOT lost on me: the fact that I had just closed my account tonight, that I've been thinking of him a lot lately (yes, I will even admit to a single instance of a "drive by" the week of my birthday - I was curious to see if he still lived in the same house) including earlier tonight, when I first got home from the gym (before I'd even closed my account). I'm stunned. That's the only way to describe what I'm feeling.
I haven't responded to his request to communicate yet. I need to give it a day or so to sink in. Also, I'm finally having drinks with Brian (friend of coworker) tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it - we've been trying to get together since DECEMBER. This is long overdue.
So, my friends, toss your comments and advice my way. Those who knew me back when the Mark thing happened will surely be floored and likely be anxious to share their $0.02. My mom was speechless (which, if you know her, is monumental). I'll write again soon with an update on my date with Brian.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Update-2.10.08
FINALLY!!
I logged on to the site this morning and there are actually some matches that are intriguing to me! I initiated contact with three of them. They're all between four and six years older than me and seem like good, normal guys. I did this about five minutes ago, so obviously I haven't heard back from anyone.
I also replied to the three guys I had been previously communicating with. One of them, this boy-next-door looking, tall engineer, sent me his list of "10 must haves and 10 can't stands" in a partner. I was a bit put off with one of his Must Haves: I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards. Ew. It seems so shallow that out of all of the options that were given to select (and there were LOTS), he picked that one! I replied to him with the necessary next step of communication, but I have to admit that his selection was a turn off. His stock just went down.
I logged on to the site this morning and there are actually some matches that are intriguing to me! I initiated contact with three of them. They're all between four and six years older than me and seem like good, normal guys. I did this about five minutes ago, so obviously I haven't heard back from anyone.
I also replied to the three guys I had been previously communicating with. One of them, this boy-next-door looking, tall engineer, sent me his list of "10 must haves and 10 can't stands" in a partner. I was a bit put off with one of his Must Haves: I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards. Ew. It seems so shallow that out of all of the options that were given to select (and there were LOTS), he picked that one! I replied to him with the necessary next step of communication, but I have to admit that his selection was a turn off. His stock just went down.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Update-2.8.08
I'm officially 30 and life couldn't be better.
Aside from having the most wonderful family and friends, a job I enjoy, a nice home, and lots of great things on the horizon to look forward to, I have several new dating prospects that I'm really excited about!
The quality of matches from the dating site has been grim, at best, these last few weeks. I found myself getting discouraged and frustrated, and turning my attention to checking out guys at the gym and the grocery store. I've already learned my lesson dating gym guys (my closest friends may recall the Chaz debacle and the crazy story of my one and only date with Jim from the gym), so maybe that guy at Publix is a better prospect than the hottie in my cycling class.... anyway - none of that matters because other avenues have proven to be much more promising!
I had the GREATEST dentist appointment yesterday. Who says that??? Especially when getting a filling redone! But it's true. A little background - my dentist, and his entire staff, is gay or lesbian. Some are more obvious than others, but it's a universal thing there. Anyway, as I sat down in the chair, my dentist and his technician (who is a total Queen) were gathering their tools, etc and the dentist says to me "Girl - why aren't you married??" My response - "I just turned 30 yesterday and asked myself the same question!" What IS the appropriate response to that question?? Then I continued with "Do you have any good looking, eligible patients you'd like to introduce me to?" AND HE DOES!! He and the technician, and the hygienist on the other side of the wall who overheard the whole thing, told me all about this patient, Joe, who has been coming to him for years. He's apparently really nice, talkative and friendly, and takes good care of his teeth and gums (hilarious - but of course, they would know!). He's my age, an architect, and has beautiful blue eyes. They were all raving about how good looking he is - the dentist went so far as to say "If you meet him and tell him I said this, I'll deny it to the end, but he's got a rockin' bod and the tightest ass!" I almost fell off the chair - so funny!! So I just threw the question out there "Do you have a photo of him?" I had forgotten all about having my own photo taken there several years ago. So after having a quick "Is showing his photo ethical?" debate among the three of them, they pulled his photo up on to the monitor that was hanging from the ceiling. I think my favorite quote during that part of this experience was the dentist telling the technician to "Click on his thing! Click on his thing!" And, after realizing what he said, he was like "Uh, yeah - we'd like to click on his thing!" So funny!! Joe is really cute and looks like a nice guy - and yes, his eyes really are a great, bright shade of blue. They also showed me the close up of his teeth - kinda' creepy - but they are, indeed, nice and well-maintained. :) So I told them that if Joe was open to it, I was open to it. We'll see what happens... I think anything coming out of that will be a long-shot, but you never know! And even if nothing happens, the dentist visit experience of yesterday makes for a great story!
I've known about the second guy, Dave, for nearly two years. He's the colleague of one of my closest friends. She wanted to set us up 2 years ago, and it never worked out. She approached him yesterday and learned that he had just ended a several-month-dating "thing" and that he was up for meeting me. She gave him my information and he's going to contact me next week. Fun! Unfortunately, I'm traveling for work most of the week, but it will be fun to start communicating with him at least! She said he's very cool and even if there isn't any sort of spark, that we'll most definitely have a nice time together. You're probably wondering so I'll tell you before you ask - I have no idea what he looks like, and he doesn't know what I look like either.
And lastly, there's Brian (friend of sleazy coworker). I sill haven't heard back from him regarding happy hour next week (Friday), but I'm trying to be patient since he told me that this week was going to be out of control for him.
That's it for now - hopefully, I'll get some dates on the calendar again in the next few weeks and have more exciting things to report!
Aside from having the most wonderful family and friends, a job I enjoy, a nice home, and lots of great things on the horizon to look forward to, I have several new dating prospects that I'm really excited about!
The quality of matches from the dating site has been grim, at best, these last few weeks. I found myself getting discouraged and frustrated, and turning my attention to checking out guys at the gym and the grocery store. I've already learned my lesson dating gym guys (my closest friends may recall the Chaz debacle and the crazy story of my one and only date with Jim from the gym), so maybe that guy at Publix is a better prospect than the hottie in my cycling class.... anyway - none of that matters because other avenues have proven to be much more promising!
I had the GREATEST dentist appointment yesterday. Who says that??? Especially when getting a filling redone! But it's true. A little background - my dentist, and his entire staff, is gay or lesbian. Some are more obvious than others, but it's a universal thing there. Anyway, as I sat down in the chair, my dentist and his technician (who is a total Queen) were gathering their tools, etc and the dentist says to me "Girl - why aren't you married??" My response - "I just turned 30 yesterday and asked myself the same question!" What IS the appropriate response to that question?? Then I continued with "Do you have any good looking, eligible patients you'd like to introduce me to?" AND HE DOES!! He and the technician, and the hygienist on the other side of the wall who overheard the whole thing, told me all about this patient, Joe, who has been coming to him for years. He's apparently really nice, talkative and friendly, and takes good care of his teeth and gums (hilarious - but of course, they would know!). He's my age, an architect, and has beautiful blue eyes. They were all raving about how good looking he is - the dentist went so far as to say "If you meet him and tell him I said this, I'll deny it to the end, but he's got a rockin' bod and the tightest ass!" I almost fell off the chair - so funny!! So I just threw the question out there "Do you have a photo of him?" I had forgotten all about having my own photo taken there several years ago. So after having a quick "Is showing his photo ethical?" debate among the three of them, they pulled his photo up on to the monitor that was hanging from the ceiling. I think my favorite quote during that part of this experience was the dentist telling the technician to "Click on his thing! Click on his thing!" And, after realizing what he said, he was like "Uh, yeah - we'd like to click on his thing!" So funny!! Joe is really cute and looks like a nice guy - and yes, his eyes really are a great, bright shade of blue. They also showed me the close up of his teeth - kinda' creepy - but they are, indeed, nice and well-maintained. :) So I told them that if Joe was open to it, I was open to it. We'll see what happens... I think anything coming out of that will be a long-shot, but you never know! And even if nothing happens, the dentist visit experience of yesterday makes for a great story!
I've known about the second guy, Dave, for nearly two years. He's the colleague of one of my closest friends. She wanted to set us up 2 years ago, and it never worked out. She approached him yesterday and learned that he had just ended a several-month-dating "thing" and that he was up for meeting me. She gave him my information and he's going to contact me next week. Fun! Unfortunately, I'm traveling for work most of the week, but it will be fun to start communicating with him at least! She said he's very cool and even if there isn't any sort of spark, that we'll most definitely have a nice time together. You're probably wondering so I'll tell you before you ask - I have no idea what he looks like, and he doesn't know what I look like either.
And lastly, there's Brian (friend of sleazy coworker). I sill haven't heard back from him regarding happy hour next week (Friday), but I'm trying to be patient since he told me that this week was going to be out of control for him.
That's it for now - hopefully, I'll get some dates on the calendar again in the next few weeks and have more exciting things to report!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Update-2.4.08
I haven't been too focused on finding Mr. Right for the last several days. Instead, I've been awestruck at how wonderful and thoughtful my friends are. I always suspected it, but now I'm convinced - I have the most wonderful friends on the planet. This thoughtful group threw me the most unbelievable birthday party last Friday night. The evening was made complete when my sister and brother-in-law walked into the restaurant - they flew across the country to be there! It was an amazing night. So instead of hunting for men this weeend, I spent time with my amazing family and friends. I tear up when I think about how great of a time I had on Friday night - I'm so lucky!
Back to the Search for Zu...
I was supposed to finally meet Brian (friend of sketchy coworker) tomorrow night. Late last week, we finally set up "drinks" for Tuesday. Unfortunately, he cancelled on me today. But his reason is totally legitimate: he resigned from his job today and this week is likely to be chaotic with longer than usual hours tying up loose ends. Brian suggested next week, I'm out of town for most of it. I could do Thursday night, but I wasn't about to suggest Valentine's Day for our first meeting. I suggested we do happy hour a week from this Friday. It's insane - I've been trying to meet his guy for what seems like ages! I hope he's as cool as I've built him up to be in my mind. I don't even have any clue what he looks like!
Nothing to update from the site. Casey closed me out this weekend. I felt a twinge of guilt, but know that I did what was right for me. There really aren't a lot of guys on there - I feel like many signed up for the discounted trial this past fall (when I did) and now most are letting their memberships lapse (I know of at least one guy who fits in this category). I think these guys are frustrated and are not renewing their memberships. Crushing. It seems like I have no other outlets for meeting guys. None of my friends seem to know anyone that is both single and quality.
I'm trying not to get down about the whole thing. Even if I never find Mr. Right, at least I can say that my life has been blessed with wonderful friendships.
Jeez - not to discount my friendships but who am I kidding? I want both - Mr. Right AND wonderful friendships. Is that asking for too much? Have I jinxed my love life by having such great girlfriends? Is it possible for me to have both??
Back to the Search for Zu...
I was supposed to finally meet Brian (friend of sketchy coworker) tomorrow night. Late last week, we finally set up "drinks" for Tuesday. Unfortunately, he cancelled on me today. But his reason is totally legitimate: he resigned from his job today and this week is likely to be chaotic with longer than usual hours tying up loose ends. Brian suggested next week, I'm out of town for most of it. I could do Thursday night, but I wasn't about to suggest Valentine's Day for our first meeting. I suggested we do happy hour a week from this Friday. It's insane - I've been trying to meet his guy for what seems like ages! I hope he's as cool as I've built him up to be in my mind. I don't even have any clue what he looks like!
Nothing to update from the site. Casey closed me out this weekend. I felt a twinge of guilt, but know that I did what was right for me. There really aren't a lot of guys on there - I feel like many signed up for the discounted trial this past fall (when I did) and now most are letting their memberships lapse (I know of at least one guy who fits in this category). I think these guys are frustrated and are not renewing their memberships. Crushing. It seems like I have no other outlets for meeting guys. None of my friends seem to know anyone that is both single and quality.
I'm trying not to get down about the whole thing. Even if I never find Mr. Right, at least I can say that my life has been blessed with wonderful friendships.
Jeez - not to discount my friendships but who am I kidding? I want both - Mr. Right AND wonderful friendships. Is that asking for too much? Have I jinxed my love life by having such great girlfriends? Is it possible for me to have both??
Monday, January 28, 2008
Update-1.28.08
I woke up feeling so relieved after resolving the situation with Casey yesterday. I felt empowered, I had regained control over my dating life. Things were exactly as I wanted them to be. With thoughts like that, I should have known that a curveball was coming my way.
Imagine my surprise when I logged into my personal email at work first thing this morning and there was an email from Jack - the painfully shy engineer. I thought he would have picked up on my subtle put-off 2 weeks ago when I told him (vaguely) that I couldn't commit to anything because my next few weeks were crazy with work and personal commitments. His email was nice - he hoped I had a great time in London and said to let him know when I would like to get together again.
For a split second, I had the juvenile inclination not to reply - hoping that he'd pick up on the hint. But my wise friend (and loyal commenter) J, brought me back to maturity and told me to email him back and let him know, nicely, that there wouldn't be a second date. So I emailed him back tonight and told a small fib about why we can't get together again (I'm pursuing things with another match - which is true, I just haven't met "that match" yet).
A bunch of new guys were delivered to my Inbox. A few seem viable... I'll share the scoop if anything progresses!
Imagine my surprise when I logged into my personal email at work first thing this morning and there was an email from Jack - the painfully shy engineer. I thought he would have picked up on my subtle put-off 2 weeks ago when I told him (vaguely) that I couldn't commit to anything because my next few weeks were crazy with work and personal commitments. His email was nice - he hoped I had a great time in London and said to let him know when I would like to get together again.
For a split second, I had the juvenile inclination not to reply - hoping that he'd pick up on the hint. But my wise friend (and loyal commenter) J, brought me back to maturity and told me to email him back and let him know, nicely, that there wouldn't be a second date. So I emailed him back tonight and told a small fib about why we can't get together again (I'm pursuing things with another match - which is true, I just haven't met "that match" yet).
A bunch of new guys were delivered to my Inbox. A few seem viable... I'll share the scoop if anything progresses!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Update 2 -1.27.08
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww... that's the sound of my sigh of relief.
Rewind to earlier this afternoon: I had just gotten home from the gym and was getting cleaned up for the date with Casey when my phone rang. I was hoping it was one of my girlfriends, but my stomach immediately sunk when I saw that it was him calling. I just didn't feel like talking to talk to him, so I let it go to voicemail (sign #s 699 and 700 that I'm not that into him - stomach dropping when he calls and call screening).
I listened to his voicemail, fully expecting it to be a message confirming our plans for the evening. But in a fortuitous twist of events, he needed to cancel for tonight because he was working on some reports for his job. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, which made me feel so guilty for feeling a sense of relief. He said that he hoped we could reschedule for this week.
Knowing that I have plans every night this week, and knowing I wasn't feeling "it" anymore, I took this as a sign that this was the time to be honest. After verbally processing my "speech" to several friends (thanks ladies!), I called him.
We small-talked for a bit and finally the subject of rescheduling our date came up. I took the opportunity to tell him that our discussion Friday night got me thinking that the connection I feel to him is more friendly than romantic. He was silent as I fumbled over my words, and he ended the conversation nearly as soon as I was finished, saying that he needed to get back to his work. It was awkward and rushed, and his feelings were obviously hurt and I felt like a big jerk.
But as soon as the conversation ended, after the panic cleared from my room, I felt relieved, less stressed and able to exhale.
It's refreshing to know that there really are good guys out there like Casey. But if I don't feel the chemistry, I'm not going to waste both of our time trying to create something that isn't there. There's someone great out there for him, it's just not me. And there's someone great out there for me, it's just not him.
So the search continues... it's time to revamp my efforts on finding Mr. Right.
Rewind to earlier this afternoon: I had just gotten home from the gym and was getting cleaned up for the date with Casey when my phone rang. I was hoping it was one of my girlfriends, but my stomach immediately sunk when I saw that it was him calling. I just didn't feel like talking to talk to him, so I let it go to voicemail (sign #s 699 and 700 that I'm not that into him - stomach dropping when he calls and call screening).
I listened to his voicemail, fully expecting it to be a message confirming our plans for the evening. But in a fortuitous twist of events, he needed to cancel for tonight because he was working on some reports for his job. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, which made me feel so guilty for feeling a sense of relief. He said that he hoped we could reschedule for this week.
Knowing that I have plans every night this week, and knowing I wasn't feeling "it" anymore, I took this as a sign that this was the time to be honest. After verbally processing my "speech" to several friends (thanks ladies!), I called him.
We small-talked for a bit and finally the subject of rescheduling our date came up. I took the opportunity to tell him that our discussion Friday night got me thinking that the connection I feel to him is more friendly than romantic. He was silent as I fumbled over my words, and he ended the conversation nearly as soon as I was finished, saying that he needed to get back to his work. It was awkward and rushed, and his feelings were obviously hurt and I felt like a big jerk.
But as soon as the conversation ended, after the panic cleared from my room, I felt relieved, less stressed and able to exhale.
It's refreshing to know that there really are good guys out there like Casey. But if I don't feel the chemistry, I'm not going to waste both of our time trying to create something that isn't there. There's someone great out there for him, it's just not me. And there's someone great out there for me, it's just not him.
So the search continues... it's time to revamp my efforts on finding Mr. Right.
Update-1.27.08
Casey called on Friday night. He called around 6:30, but I didn't have a chance to call him back 'til just before 9. It was good to talk with him - he made me laugh a lot and we had plenty to talk about. I was a bit annoyed that at 9:00 he asked me out for THAT night ("well, what are you up to tonight?"). I told him that I was already in my pajamas (to which he replied "well...that could be sexy" - which kind of grossed me out - more on that later) so that night was out of the question. We agreed to do dinner on Sunday night, but I think I'm just not feeling the attraction anymore, hence why that comment grossed me out.
All weekend, I've not been looking forward to the date - it almost seems like more of an inconvenience. I feel terrible having these thoughts, but I think it's indicative that I'm just not that into him.
So he's picking me up at 7 tonight and we're going to a tapas restaurant. I wish I was more excited about the evening, I'm just not.
One of my college roommates instituted the "three date rule" when she was dating around. If she wasn't sure about a guy, she went on 3 dates with him to find out for sure. I have a bad feeling that after tonight, I'll be asking everyone for easy ways
to let him down.
On a related note, I had the "dial it down" talk with Casey on Friday night. I said that I'd just gotten out of a relationship, and I was enjoying getting to know him and hoping we could continue to do so, but that we could take our time in getting to know each other. He asked me if that was me putting him into the "friend zone." I told him it wasn't - because in my mind it was the truth. But now, after more thought, I think it's going in that direction.
He's going to be bummed - but we've only gone out on two dates and been talking for 3weeks. I do feel kind of bad that his birthday is next weekend, though. If I decide after tonight that I'm not that into him, do I need to wait until after his birthday to have "the talk?" And, I can do it over the phone, right??
Advice please!!
All weekend, I've not been looking forward to the date - it almost seems like more of an inconvenience. I feel terrible having these thoughts, but I think it's indicative that I'm just not that into him.
So he's picking me up at 7 tonight and we're going to a tapas restaurant. I wish I was more excited about the evening, I'm just not.
One of my college roommates instituted the "three date rule" when she was dating around. If she wasn't sure about a guy, she went on 3 dates with him to find out for sure. I have a bad feeling that after tonight, I'll be asking everyone for easy ways
to let him down.
On a related note, I had the "dial it down" talk with Casey on Friday night. I said that I'd just gotten out of a relationship, and I was enjoying getting to know him and hoping we could continue to do so, but that we could take our time in getting to know each other. He asked me if that was me putting him into the "friend zone." I told him it wasn't - because in my mind it was the truth. But now, after more thought, I think it's going in that direction.
He's going to be bummed - but we've only gone out on two dates and been talking for 3weeks. I do feel kind of bad that his birthday is next weekend, though. If I decide after tonight that I'm not that into him, do I need to wait until after his birthday to have "the talk?" And, I can do it over the phone, right??
Advice please!!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Update-1.21.08
I'm in London right now and am having laptop/Internet issues, so I thought I'd write the postings now, and put them online upon my return to the States. I don't have a ton of new updates to report, but I have heard from Casey more than once. Yes, more than once - and I arrived here Friday morning and it's now Monday.
There was a message from him when I landed at Gatwick and turned on my BlackBerry. It was nice and thoughtful and made me smile, but I was a bit uneasy that he had already written to me. I feel like a terrible person even having that feeling, and it makes me feel even worse to actually admit it! But I'm just being honest.
I ran around London all weekend with my good friend (great times!) and planned to write him back on Sunday evening after I'd checked into my hotel. But by the time I finally got here, after a ridiculous adventure on the Tube and in a taxi (and some serious debauchery the night before), I was so exhausted that I just crawled into bed.
I woke up this morning, all set to email Casey back, so I logged into my BlackBerry and downloaded my messages. And there it was - the SECOND message from him. Like the other one, this message was also funny and sweet - but really? Another email?
I feel like a colossal b*tch for thinking that, but I can't help it. In my previous relationship, I spent two years wanting my ex to show an interest in what I did when we weren't together and to be supportive of my work and personal interests. I never got what I wanted (hence, the end of the relationship). Fast forward to today, and here I have a guy giving me exactly what I needed for so long and I'm put off and freaked out by it. But I think I'm put off by it because it's SO much SO quickly. On Wednesday, we'll have known each other for TWO WEEKS. I have a feeling the "We need to take things slowly" talk is just around the corner. I just don't want to scare him off entirely.
Back to Casey and the emails...I typed a pretty lengthy reply back to him (or at least it felt lengthy because I was typing it on my BlackBerry). I told him about the fun I had here over the weekend and all the sites I saw. I haven't heard back yet - but I find that I keep checking my Inbox for his reply. I guess that's a good sign and it means I'm interested on some level - I just need to not feel pressured.
There was a message from him when I landed at Gatwick and turned on my BlackBerry. It was nice and thoughtful and made me smile, but I was a bit uneasy that he had already written to me. I feel like a terrible person even having that feeling, and it makes me feel even worse to actually admit it! But I'm just being honest.
I ran around London all weekend with my good friend (great times!) and planned to write him back on Sunday evening after I'd checked into my hotel. But by the time I finally got here, after a ridiculous adventure on the Tube and in a taxi (and some serious debauchery the night before), I was so exhausted that I just crawled into bed.
I woke up this morning, all set to email Casey back, so I logged into my BlackBerry and downloaded my messages. And there it was - the SECOND message from him. Like the other one, this message was also funny and sweet - but really? Another email?
I feel like a colossal b*tch for thinking that, but I can't help it. In my previous relationship, I spent two years wanting my ex to show an interest in what I did when we weren't together and to be supportive of my work and personal interests. I never got what I wanted (hence, the end of the relationship). Fast forward to today, and here I have a guy giving me exactly what I needed for so long and I'm put off and freaked out by it. But I think I'm put off by it because it's SO much SO quickly. On Wednesday, we'll have known each other for TWO WEEKS. I have a feeling the "We need to take things slowly" talk is just around the corner. I just don't want to scare him off entirely.
Back to Casey and the emails...I typed a pretty lengthy reply back to him (or at least it felt lengthy because I was typing it on my BlackBerry). I told him about the fun I had here over the weekend and all the sites I saw. I haven't heard back yet - but I find that I keep checking my Inbox for his reply. I guess that's a good sign and it means I'm interested on some level - I just need to not feel pressured.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Update-1.17.08
I leave for London tonight!! I'm so excited! This will likely be the last post for the next week.
Last night, after I finished packing and getting organized for my trip, I called Casey. I'm not sure why, but talking to him didn't leave me with my usual "warm & fuzzy" feeling. It could have just been the fact that his cell phone reception was so crappy and I kept having to say "What?" "Can you repeat that?" and "Pardon?" It got old quickly. I can't wait for him to switch providers later this month.
The call with Casey wasn't a bad conversation or anything; I had a nice time talking with him and we spoke for about 30 minutes. There is one thing that is just so strange, though. He will randomly switch topics mid-discussion. For example, Casey and I were talking about his job or something relating to him and all of a sudden he asked “So what time do you fly out tomorrow?” No transition, just completely out of the blue. I recognize that this could have been him making the effort to shift the conversation back to me, or he could have been nervous. But it happened multiple times when he was talking. He would be saying something about his colleagues, and then nearly mid-sentence, switch to talking about plans for the weekend.
On a more positive note, Casey scored bonus points and impressed me yesterday. He sent me an email in the evening before I had a chance to call him. He was really casual and said that he hoped I had a great day and that if we didn't speak before I left for London, that he hoped I had a fun time. I needed that (cool, no-pressure message). It made me feel a bit less like we're in full-speed-ahead mode.
This morning while I was loading my luggage in the car, I heard from Ryan the Text King … via text of course. His message was brief, just telling me to have a great trip. I thought that was really nice and it was definitely a pleasant surprise! Especially because when we parted ways on Sunday night he told me to let him know when I got back from London. I thought for sure the next interaction between us would be initiated by me. I've yet to respond back to him, for some reason I'm being silly and over-thinking my reply. The logical side of me realizes that it's JUST a text message, but I don't know, I want it to be good. I know I want to see Ryan again.
Last night, after I finished packing and getting organized for my trip, I called Casey. I'm not sure why, but talking to him didn't leave me with my usual "warm & fuzzy" feeling. It could have just been the fact that his cell phone reception was so crappy and I kept having to say "What?" "Can you repeat that?" and "Pardon?" It got old quickly. I can't wait for him to switch providers later this month.
The call with Casey wasn't a bad conversation or anything; I had a nice time talking with him and we spoke for about 30 minutes. There is one thing that is just so strange, though. He will randomly switch topics mid-discussion. For example, Casey and I were talking about his job or something relating to him and all of a sudden he asked “So what time do you fly out tomorrow?” No transition, just completely out of the blue. I recognize that this could have been him making the effort to shift the conversation back to me, or he could have been nervous. But it happened multiple times when he was talking. He would be saying something about his colleagues, and then nearly mid-sentence, switch to talking about plans for the weekend.
On a more positive note, Casey scored bonus points and impressed me yesterday. He sent me an email in the evening before I had a chance to call him. He was really casual and said that he hoped I had a great day and that if we didn't speak before I left for London, that he hoped I had a fun time. I needed that (cool, no-pressure message). It made me feel a bit less like we're in full-speed-ahead mode.
This morning while I was loading my luggage in the car, I heard from Ryan the Text King … via text of course. His message was brief, just telling me to have a great trip. I thought that was really nice and it was definitely a pleasant surprise! Especially because when we parted ways on Sunday night he told me to let him know when I got back from London. I thought for sure the next interaction between us would be initiated by me. I've yet to respond back to him, for some reason I'm being silly and over-thinking my reply. The logical side of me realizes that it's JUST a text message, but I don't know, I want it to be good. I know I want to see Ryan again.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Update-1.16.08
Casey, Casey, Casey... that boy!
If he would only dial his eagerness back just a few notches, I'd be much more comfortable and on-board with everything.
When we spoke on Monday night, he expressed interest in seeing me before I left for London. In an effort to avoid another request for a make-out session and ease the "pressure" I'm starting to feel with this whole thing, (and to allow myself time to workout and just relax before the chaos of international travel) I fibbed a bit. I told him I had to have dinner with my boss last night to discuss the strategy for my upcoming business trip to London and that tonight (Wednesday; I leave tomorrow) I'd be busy running errands, doing laundry and packing. His disappointment was obvious, but I told him how I hoped we'd email while I was away. He seemed content with that. I sincerely meant it - I do hope we can stay in touch while I'm gone.
Last night I was running around my house like a crazy woman doing laundry, sewing a button on my suit pants, and laying out my clothes when he called. I missed the call itself, but I was a little shocked that he called - especially at 8:15 (when I would most likely be at dinner). His message was nice, he was just calling to update me on something we had joked about on Monday night. But Jeez! I haven't even known this guy for a whole week and he's acting like we need to talk every day (which, if we were dating exclusively, I'd agree with). I didn't call him back last night (I actually WAS busy, and when I finished with my to-dos, I relaxed and read for a bit). Normally, I'd send an email today saying that I was sorry to have missed him, etc. but I'm going to wait 'til tonight to just call him back.
One friend thinks he's just eager and excited to have met someone "down to earth, grounded and sincere" (his words). Another friend says this clinginess is a yellow flag and I should proceed with caution.
What do you think?
If he would only dial his eagerness back just a few notches, I'd be much more comfortable and on-board with everything.
When we spoke on Monday night, he expressed interest in seeing me before I left for London. In an effort to avoid another request for a make-out session and ease the "pressure" I'm starting to feel with this whole thing, (and to allow myself time to workout and just relax before the chaos of international travel) I fibbed a bit. I told him I had to have dinner with my boss last night to discuss the strategy for my upcoming business trip to London and that tonight (Wednesday; I leave tomorrow) I'd be busy running errands, doing laundry and packing. His disappointment was obvious, but I told him how I hoped we'd email while I was away. He seemed content with that. I sincerely meant it - I do hope we can stay in touch while I'm gone.
Last night I was running around my house like a crazy woman doing laundry, sewing a button on my suit pants, and laying out my clothes when he called. I missed the call itself, but I was a little shocked that he called - especially at 8:15 (when I would most likely be at dinner). His message was nice, he was just calling to update me on something we had joked about on Monday night. But Jeez! I haven't even known this guy for a whole week and he's acting like we need to talk every day (which, if we were dating exclusively, I'd agree with). I didn't call him back last night (I actually WAS busy, and when I finished with my to-dos, I relaxed and read for a bit). Normally, I'd send an email today saying that I was sorry to have missed him, etc. but I'm going to wait 'til tonight to just call him back.
One friend thinks he's just eager and excited to have met someone "down to earth, grounded and sincere" (his words). Another friend says this clinginess is a yellow flag and I should proceed with caution.
What do you think?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Date 7: A Vanilla Date with a Side of Delicious Pumpkin Ice Cream
I had my date with Jack, the shy engineer last night. I arrived at the restaurant about 10 minutes early and was chatting with a friend when he came through the door, right on time. I immediately ended the phone conversation, and Jack and I shook hands.
He's a nice looking guy, but not hot. Definitely not someone you'd look at twice on the street. He has a nice smile and nice teeth. But, speaking of his mouth, right away, I noticed he was SOUTHERN. I don't mean Southern in the way Casey is Southern (an accent). I mean SOUTHERN in borderline redneck Southern. I had trouble understanding what he was saying sometimes because his accent was SO thick.
We were seated at our table and it was very evident that he was really nervous. I had flashhbacks to sorority rush in college - I felt like I was carrying the conversation. I asked him questions and when we had the awkward lulls, I was the one to save us by coming up with some sort of question or comment to keep things rolling.
He's an interesting guy - is finishing his basement, loves riding his Harley, is passionate about his job, has run a marathon in Japan. But the whole time, I never felt a spark. In fact, throughout the entire meal, our waiter was cracking me up! He was likely more into Jack than me (if you know what I mean), but I found myself having a better time chatting and bs'ing with the waiter than with my date - definitely not a good sign.
For the meal, Jack and shared an appetizer and each ordered a beer. I was a bit put off because he ordered the exact same entree that I did, and then ordered the exact same dessert. They had pumpkin ice cream - I was dying to try it and it was amazing!! He then suggested we share the dessert, which I agreed to because it was a much better idea. I just thought all the "I'll have the same thing" ordering was a bit odd. That, coupled with his shyness (which came off as a lack of confidence) was kind of a turn-off.
Being a true Southern gentleman, he paid for dinner (which could NOT have been cheap) and would't hear of me helping out with the tab. I felt a bit bad about that, knowing I wasn't digging him and feeling confident that a second date was very unlikely.
We walked outside and I waited for the valet to bring my car - all the while I was trying to keep the conversation afloat and ensure that the goodbye wasn't too awkward. When my car arrived, we hugged and I thanked him for a nice time. I was careful not to say anything about seeing him again.
When I got home, there was an email from him:
Hey Nay, I just wanted to let you know I had a good time tonight it was great to see you in person. Have a great week and let me know if you would like to get together again sometime.
Ugh. Of course he wants to get together again! He probably felt like the most interesting and fascintating person in the restaurant because he and his life and interests were the center of the entire evening's conversation. I haven't replied, and am not sure how to tactfully say thanks, but no thanks. Suggestions, anyone?
On a Casey-related note, he called me during the day yesterday and left a voicemail that he hoped I was having a great day and if I had time, to feel free to call him, as he was out to lunch doing errands. I didn't have the chance to call him back, so I emailed him that I'd call him when I got home from "a dinner" that night (I told him I had a friend's birthday dinner - a safe and minor fib) and he replied that night when he got home (as I was waiting to meet Jack). He's just funny - and it's so refreshing. I called him when I got home and we talked for over an hour. Time just seems to fly when we're on the phone.
A funny side note - Casey has TERRIBLE cell service in his apartment, so he got in his car and drove around so we could keep talking. I thought that was pretty entertaining and kind of sweet. He wanted to see me this week before I leave, and I nicely let him know that I had a lot going on, but that I hoped we would email while I was oveseas. As long as he can slow down with some of the physical stuff, I definitely see myself letting my guard down with him, bit by bit. It's kind of exciting!!
He's a nice looking guy, but not hot. Definitely not someone you'd look at twice on the street. He has a nice smile and nice teeth. But, speaking of his mouth, right away, I noticed he was SOUTHERN. I don't mean Southern in the way Casey is Southern (an accent). I mean SOUTHERN in borderline redneck Southern. I had trouble understanding what he was saying sometimes because his accent was SO thick.
We were seated at our table and it was very evident that he was really nervous. I had flashhbacks to sorority rush in college - I felt like I was carrying the conversation. I asked him questions and when we had the awkward lulls, I was the one to save us by coming up with some sort of question or comment to keep things rolling.
He's an interesting guy - is finishing his basement, loves riding his Harley, is passionate about his job, has run a marathon in Japan. But the whole time, I never felt a spark. In fact, throughout the entire meal, our waiter was cracking me up! He was likely more into Jack than me (if you know what I mean), but I found myself having a better time chatting and bs'ing with the waiter than with my date - definitely not a good sign.
For the meal, Jack and shared an appetizer and each ordered a beer. I was a bit put off because he ordered the exact same entree that I did, and then ordered the exact same dessert. They had pumpkin ice cream - I was dying to try it and it was amazing!! He then suggested we share the dessert, which I agreed to because it was a much better idea. I just thought all the "I'll have the same thing" ordering was a bit odd. That, coupled with his shyness (which came off as a lack of confidence) was kind of a turn-off.
Being a true Southern gentleman, he paid for dinner (which could NOT have been cheap) and would't hear of me helping out with the tab. I felt a bit bad about that, knowing I wasn't digging him and feeling confident that a second date was very unlikely.
We walked outside and I waited for the valet to bring my car - all the while I was trying to keep the conversation afloat and ensure that the goodbye wasn't too awkward. When my car arrived, we hugged and I thanked him for a nice time. I was careful not to say anything about seeing him again.
When I got home, there was an email from him:
Hey Nay, I just wanted to let you know I had a good time tonight it was great to see you in person. Have a great week and let me know if you would like to get together again sometime.
Ugh. Of course he wants to get together again! He probably felt like the most interesting and fascintating person in the restaurant because he and his life and interests were the center of the entire evening's conversation. I haven't replied, and am not sure how to tactfully say thanks, but no thanks. Suggestions, anyone?
On a Casey-related note, he called me during the day yesterday and left a voicemail that he hoped I was having a great day and if I had time, to feel free to call him, as he was out to lunch doing errands. I didn't have the chance to call him back, so I emailed him that I'd call him when I got home from "a dinner" that night (I told him I had a friend's birthday dinner - a safe and minor fib) and he replied that night when he got home (as I was waiting to meet Jack). He's just funny - and it's so refreshing. I called him when I got home and we talked for over an hour. Time just seems to fly when we're on the phone.
A funny side note - Casey has TERRIBLE cell service in his apartment, so he got in his car and drove around so we could keep talking. I thought that was pretty entertaining and kind of sweet. He wanted to see me this week before I leave, and I nicely let him know that I had a lot going on, but that I hoped we would email while I was oveseas. As long as he can slow down with some of the physical stuff, I definitely see myself letting my guard down with him, bit by bit. It's kind of exciting!!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Date 6: The Text King - Live and In Person
The Text Message King (finally) has a face and a voice again!
Ryan and I met for a casual dinner tonight at 7. As I was walking into the restaurant, he drove in past me so I waited for him in the entry of the restaurant.
The night I met him, nearly a month ago, I was wearing 3" heels and I didn't remember him being particularly tall (just taller than me). Tonight I wore flats and HOLY CRAP is he tall!!! Wooo hooo!
We hugged when he got inside and I wished him Happy New Year. He's cute!! He's got one of those great smiles that make his eyes twinkle.
We sat down and started talking and finally ordered the second time the waiter came by. The conversation flowed pretty easily and there was only one awkward silence.
After dinner, we sat and talked for awhile longer. A couple of times I got the feeling that he was ready to leave, but I wasn't sure, so I just kept talking (which won't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me). When the conversation seemed to slow down again, he asked if I was ready to go, and I said that I was. It was a brief date - only about an hour and 15 minutes.
We walked out to our cars and it got kind of awkward again. He said that I should let him know when I return from London. I reminded him of the date, hoping that he'll take the reigns and be proactive when the time comes. I went in for a hug (a kiss would have been really random, given the tone of the evening) and he kissed me on the cheek - definitely nice and unexpected.
All in all, I'd like to see him again. We'll see what happens in the next two weeks. I wish I had a better idea as to whether he is really interested in seeing me again.
Ryan and I met for a casual dinner tonight at 7. As I was walking into the restaurant, he drove in past me so I waited for him in the entry of the restaurant.
The night I met him, nearly a month ago, I was wearing 3" heels and I didn't remember him being particularly tall (just taller than me). Tonight I wore flats and HOLY CRAP is he tall!!! Wooo hooo!
We hugged when he got inside and I wished him Happy New Year. He's cute!! He's got one of those great smiles that make his eyes twinkle.
We sat down and started talking and finally ordered the second time the waiter came by. The conversation flowed pretty easily and there was only one awkward silence.
After dinner, we sat and talked for awhile longer. A couple of times I got the feeling that he was ready to leave, but I wasn't sure, so I just kept talking (which won't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me). When the conversation seemed to slow down again, he asked if I was ready to go, and I said that I was. It was a brief date - only about an hour and 15 minutes.
We walked out to our cars and it got kind of awkward again. He said that I should let him know when I return from London. I reminded him of the date, hoping that he'll take the reigns and be proactive when the time comes. I went in for a hug (a kiss would have been really random, given the tone of the evening) and he kissed me on the cheek - definitely nice and unexpected.
All in all, I'd like to see him again. We'll see what happens in the next two weeks. I wish I had a better idea as to whether he is really interested in seeing me again.
Update – 1.13.2008
Warning: long entry ahead…
I went out with two of my girlfriends last night and the plan, in addition to hanging out with them, was to finally meet up with Ryan the Text King. He had texted me earlier in the day regarding whether my plan for the evening was still to be at this well-known Irish pub. I wrote back that we’d be there around 10:30, and he responded that he was going out with some friends, but hopefully he’d get to meet up with me.
After two drinks at the Irish pub, I hadn’t seen or heard anything from Ryan, so we went to a different bar (where a guy that one of my friends is interested in was headed). On the way there, I texted Ryan to let him know where we were headed. This bar is in a basement and there is absolutely no cell service; when I was able to get a signal, my phone was roaming. I realized this after about 15 minutes, so I stepped outside to see if Ryan had sent me a message. Nada.
About 15 minutes later, I was back downstairs in the bar when my phone started vibrating. I pulled it out of my purse and saw the following message on the screen: Unable to deliver new message. Not enough memory.
WHAT??!! How could that be? I’d deleted 100 text messages earlier in the week. I rushed to delete anything and everything in my phone, hoping that would make the elusive message appear. After standing there for 5 minutes, staring at my phone and willing the message to come through, I gave up. Nothing was happening. So I went back to my friends and turned my attention back to having a great evening.
Another 15 minutes (or so) later my purse started vibrating again. Woo hoo! This was it! I handed my beer off to my friend and dug through my purse. I was fully expecting to see a text from Ryan telling me he was on his way, or asking me where I was in the bar… but no. When I flipped my phone open I was greeted with the same damn error message. It was like the cell phone memory gods were mocking me and a meeting with Ryan as likely as me finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground.
I deleted a few more messages and realized that this meeting with Ryan wasn’t in the cards. I figured I would just text him later that night or first thing Sunday morning and let him know that I didn’t have a signal and couldn’t get messages. Not a big thing. I went back to my friends and had a great time for the rest of the evening.
As I was driving home, every time I was stopped at a red light I’d delete more stuff from my phone: received texts, sent texts, draft texts, sent photos, received photos. If it wasn’t memorable or special, it was outta there. All of a sudden, the message came through!! Actually, there were two – one from my sister and another from Ryan. I waited to read it until another red light and was pleased to see a note that he was frustrated and still in a different part of town with his friends and that he was hoping to get to where I was.
When I got home, I responded to Ryan’s message, telling him I was sorry that we didn’t meet up, but that I hoped he had a great night. And I suggested that maybe we could get together soon.
When I woke up today, I was greeted with a blinking red light on my phone. Even being blind as a bat without my contacts in, I couldn’t mistake that pulsing red light. I excitedly opened my phone to find a message from Ryan – He was also sorry that we didn’t meet up, but was I interested in hanging out today?
Hell yeah I was interested!! But I played it off much cooler than that and replied that getting together would be fun and that he should call me to set up plans. I’m over this texting business!!
He called a bit later and we’re meeting for dinner tonight at 7. Restaurant TBD, but we both live in the same part of town, so I’m sure it will be close by.
More on that tomorrow!
On an unrelated note, I was surprised this morning to learn that the husband of one of my good friends has been a loyal, but stealth, reader of my adventures. He posted a comment in response to my last post about Casey – expressing displeasure with me and asking me to call him. I called him and also had his wife on the phone. During the conversation, he told me that I was playing games with Casey and my behavior was manipulative and rude. He said I’m punishing this guy for putting his heart out there and showing interest.
This conversation was beyond enlightening. Me and my friend/his wife were on one page, and he was on a totally different page – hell, maybe even a different chapter – in relation to dating.
He raised some good points – the eager/awkward immediate kiss on date two could have just been him making it very clear to me that he doesn’t want to just be my friend, and the rushed awkwardness was because he was nervous (That sounded much more believable when he said it. Typing it now, it doesn’t seem so believable. My dear friend – and loyal commenter “J” made an excellent point that there are other ways for him to express his interest than “jumping [my] bones.” The debate will go on…)
In any case, it was good to get a guy’s perspective. He definitely raised some points that I hadn’t considered, and was positively aghast at the (excessive) amount of analysis that my girlfriends and me have put into this, and all of my (and their), dating situations.
So… ACPee, please keep posting. While I know you can't speak for all men, it’s good to hear a guy’s perspective. And thanks for the tip on telling the Text King to call me. Hopefully we've graduated to the next level of communication for good!
I went out with two of my girlfriends last night and the plan, in addition to hanging out with them, was to finally meet up with Ryan the Text King. He had texted me earlier in the day regarding whether my plan for the evening was still to be at this well-known Irish pub. I wrote back that we’d be there around 10:30, and he responded that he was going out with some friends, but hopefully he’d get to meet up with me.
After two drinks at the Irish pub, I hadn’t seen or heard anything from Ryan, so we went to a different bar (where a guy that one of my friends is interested in was headed). On the way there, I texted Ryan to let him know where we were headed. This bar is in a basement and there is absolutely no cell service; when I was able to get a signal, my phone was roaming. I realized this after about 15 minutes, so I stepped outside to see if Ryan had sent me a message. Nada.
About 15 minutes later, I was back downstairs in the bar when my phone started vibrating. I pulled it out of my purse and saw the following message on the screen: Unable to deliver new message. Not enough memory.
WHAT??!! How could that be? I’d deleted 100 text messages earlier in the week. I rushed to delete anything and everything in my phone, hoping that would make the elusive message appear. After standing there for 5 minutes, staring at my phone and willing the message to come through, I gave up. Nothing was happening. So I went back to my friends and turned my attention back to having a great evening.
Another 15 minutes (or so) later my purse started vibrating again. Woo hoo! This was it! I handed my beer off to my friend and dug through my purse. I was fully expecting to see a text from Ryan telling me he was on his way, or asking me where I was in the bar… but no. When I flipped my phone open I was greeted with the same damn error message. It was like the cell phone memory gods were mocking me and a meeting with Ryan as likely as me finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground.
I deleted a few more messages and realized that this meeting with Ryan wasn’t in the cards. I figured I would just text him later that night or first thing Sunday morning and let him know that I didn’t have a signal and couldn’t get messages. Not a big thing. I went back to my friends and had a great time for the rest of the evening.
As I was driving home, every time I was stopped at a red light I’d delete more stuff from my phone: received texts, sent texts, draft texts, sent photos, received photos. If it wasn’t memorable or special, it was outta there. All of a sudden, the message came through!! Actually, there were two – one from my sister and another from Ryan. I waited to read it until another red light and was pleased to see a note that he was frustrated and still in a different part of town with his friends and that he was hoping to get to where I was.
When I got home, I responded to Ryan’s message, telling him I was sorry that we didn’t meet up, but that I hoped he had a great night. And I suggested that maybe we could get together soon.
When I woke up today, I was greeted with a blinking red light on my phone. Even being blind as a bat without my contacts in, I couldn’t mistake that pulsing red light. I excitedly opened my phone to find a message from Ryan – He was also sorry that we didn’t meet up, but was I interested in hanging out today?
Hell yeah I was interested!! But I played it off much cooler than that and replied that getting together would be fun and that he should call me to set up plans. I’m over this texting business!!
He called a bit later and we’re meeting for dinner tonight at 7. Restaurant TBD, but we both live in the same part of town, so I’m sure it will be close by.
More on that tomorrow!
On an unrelated note, I was surprised this morning to learn that the husband of one of my good friends has been a loyal, but stealth, reader of my adventures. He posted a comment in response to my last post about Casey – expressing displeasure with me and asking me to call him. I called him and also had his wife on the phone. During the conversation, he told me that I was playing games with Casey and my behavior was manipulative and rude. He said I’m punishing this guy for putting his heart out there and showing interest.
This conversation was beyond enlightening. Me and my friend/his wife were on one page, and he was on a totally different page – hell, maybe even a different chapter – in relation to dating.
He raised some good points – the eager/awkward immediate kiss on date two could have just been him making it very clear to me that he doesn’t want to just be my friend, and the rushed awkwardness was because he was nervous (That sounded much more believable when he said it. Typing it now, it doesn’t seem so believable. My dear friend – and loyal commenter “J” made an excellent point that there are other ways for him to express his interest than “jumping [my] bones.” The debate will go on…)
In any case, it was good to get a guy’s perspective. He definitely raised some points that I hadn’t considered, and was positively aghast at the (excessive) amount of analysis that my girlfriends and me have put into this, and all of my (and their), dating situations.
So… ACPee, please keep posting. While I know you can't speak for all men, it’s good to hear a guy’s perspective. And thanks for the tip on telling the Text King to call me. Hopefully we've graduated to the next level of communication for good!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Date 5: Another Step in the Right Direction?
During the middle of work yesterday, Casey called in response to my email. I was having a crappy, stressful day so it was nice to hear from him. We only spoke for a few minutes, but he suggested getting together and doing something low key that night, like grabbing dinner or watching a movie. I opted for the former, but told him I planned to go to the gym first and I'd call him when I got home.
He picked me up at 8:30 and I met him downstairs. He caught me off guard by going STRAIGHT in for the kiss at the greeting. It was a nice kiss, but was more than I was expecting. I made a nervous joke about how I hoped he didn't mind wearing lip gloss. In hindsight, that was SO nerdy of me - but I was nervous and it just came out.
He looked great and smelled good and I was pleased when he opened the car door for me - love that!! We decided on sushi, so we went to my favorite Thai/Japanese restaurant near my condo.
Dinner was nice, despite the fact that I was exhausted and not feeling my most social. He kept the conversation rolling with hilarious stories of the "trouble" he and his friends got into back in high school. It was nice to just be able to sit back and enjoy entertaining stories.
After we were done eating, he excused himself to the restroom and I paid the bill. At the time, I just did it. But thinking back, I think I did it because I didn't want there to be any "expectations" about what would happen next if he paid for dinner. During dinner, he had asked if I wanted to hang out a bit more at my house after dinner. I shot him down, citing my exhaustion and the fact that I had to be up early on Saturday morning.
After the check was paid, we walked out to the car, and he took my hand as we were walking. After he unlocked my car door, he leaned in and kissed me. We stood there in the parking lot for a few minutes. It was nice and MUCH less awkward than the out-of-the-blue smooch when the evening began.
He held my hand as he drove me home - which was impressive (he has a 5-speed: steering, shifting, signaling all with his left hand). When we got back to my place, he walked me to the door and asked if he could come up. Again, I shot him down - poor guy. But honestly, I'm not ready for it to go any further and I'm not going to feel pressured to move ahead just to make him happy.
We stood outside the back door of my building and kissed for a few minutes It was really nice,and he was very complimentary of me and the evening. Except for a few fleeting thoughts of wondering if any of my neighbors could see us, I found myself really enjoying it.
He finally pulled away and said something about us getting together this week (which likely won't happen because I have so much going on) and the night ended.
I find that I enjoy spending time with him, but his "eagerness" kind of freaks me out. This happened to me in my last relationship-the guy was so over-eager and it freaked me out and caused me to push him away. After a "we need to slow down" talk, things progressed, but in a way that was much less stressful for me. I feel that one of those talks may be on the horizon for me and Casey.
Tonight I'll meet up with Ryan and we'll see what the deal is with him. I'm looking forward to it!
He picked me up at 8:30 and I met him downstairs. He caught me off guard by going STRAIGHT in for the kiss at the greeting. It was a nice kiss, but was more than I was expecting. I made a nervous joke about how I hoped he didn't mind wearing lip gloss. In hindsight, that was SO nerdy of me - but I was nervous and it just came out.
He looked great and smelled good and I was pleased when he opened the car door for me - love that!! We decided on sushi, so we went to my favorite Thai/Japanese restaurant near my condo.
Dinner was nice, despite the fact that I was exhausted and not feeling my most social. He kept the conversation rolling with hilarious stories of the "trouble" he and his friends got into back in high school. It was nice to just be able to sit back and enjoy entertaining stories.
After we were done eating, he excused himself to the restroom and I paid the bill. At the time, I just did it. But thinking back, I think I did it because I didn't want there to be any "expectations" about what would happen next if he paid for dinner. During dinner, he had asked if I wanted to hang out a bit more at my house after dinner. I shot him down, citing my exhaustion and the fact that I had to be up early on Saturday morning.
After the check was paid, we walked out to the car, and he took my hand as we were walking. After he unlocked my car door, he leaned in and kissed me. We stood there in the parking lot for a few minutes. It was nice and MUCH less awkward than the out-of-the-blue smooch when the evening began.
He held my hand as he drove me home - which was impressive (he has a 5-speed: steering, shifting, signaling all with his left hand). When we got back to my place, he walked me to the door and asked if he could come up. Again, I shot him down - poor guy. But honestly, I'm not ready for it to go any further and I'm not going to feel pressured to move ahead just to make him happy.
We stood outside the back door of my building and kissed for a few minutes It was really nice,and he was very complimentary of me and the evening. Except for a few fleeting thoughts of wondering if any of my neighbors could see us, I found myself really enjoying it.
He finally pulled away and said something about us getting together this week (which likely won't happen because I have so much going on) and the night ended.
I find that I enjoy spending time with him, but his "eagerness" kind of freaks me out. This happened to me in my last relationship-the guy was so over-eager and it freaked me out and caused me to push him away. After a "we need to slow down" talk, things progressed, but in a way that was much less stressful for me. I feel that one of those talks may be on the horizon for me and Casey.
Tonight I'll meet up with Ryan and we'll see what the deal is with him. I'm looking forward to it!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Update-1.11.08
Casey called last night! I was hanging out with my girlfriends when the call came in, so I let it go to voicemail. He left a REALLY nice message about how he had “an amazing time” with me on Wednesday night. I was really impressed – not only that he called, but that he used such a stellar adjective to describe our date! I didn’t have the opportunity to return the call last night, so I emailed him this morning and will follow-up with a call tonight. I’m not sure if he checks his personal email account during the day.
I emailed Jack back to confirm the time and location for our date on Monday night, so that’s finalized.
A slew of new matches have been coming in on the site, but none of them are viable prospects. I’ve closed nearly all of them. I’ve also had a couple of guys do the friendly “nudge” for a response from me, but I’ve been busy! I guess I’m not too interested if I’m not making responding to them a priority – I’m tempted to close them as well. The next several weeks are going to be crazy for me with work insanity and preparing for my trip to London.
So much to look forward to!
I emailed Jack back to confirm the time and location for our date on Monday night, so that’s finalized.
A slew of new matches have been coming in on the site, but none of them are viable prospects. I’ve closed nearly all of them. I’ve also had a couple of guys do the friendly “nudge” for a response from me, but I’ve been busy! I guess I’m not too interested if I’m not making responding to them a priority – I’m tempted to close them as well. The next several weeks are going to be crazy for me with work insanity and preparing for my trip to London.
So much to look forward to!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Nay? I'm confused. Which guy is that??
I have a problem. But it's a good problem.
You (my dearest friends who are cheering me along on this adventure) are having trouble remembering who's who. I've never been in a situation where my friends can't keep track of all "my" men!
With that in mind, I've created a man dictionary at the bottom of the start page. Scroll down to read a brief snapshot of the guys, and how I met them. I hope this helps!!
You (my dearest friends who are cheering me along on this adventure) are having trouble remembering who's who. I've never been in a situation where my friends can't keep track of all "my" men!
With that in mind, I've created a man dictionary at the bottom of the start page. Scroll down to read a brief snapshot of the guys, and how I met them. I hope this helps!!
Date 4: A Step in the Right Direction!!
So I arrived at the restaurant exactly on time and was shocked to see how packed it was. I was a bit concerned – how was I going to recognize him? How would I even know he was there? And would it be best to call him if I couldn't find him easily? Or would he call me? As I was stressing over the answers to these questions (stressing for all of .2 seconds), I made eye contact with him. There he was – sitting at a table right near the door. Casey is MUCH cuter in person than in his photos (What is with these guys on the site not posting their best photos??? Is that only a girl thing?). Anyway, I walked over and we hugged and sat down (he was already sipping a beer) and we immediately started talking. I can’t even remember everything we talked about, but there was never a single lull in conversation the whole night.
Again, he was very complimentary of my smile and how genuine I came across in my profile (and seemed to be in person). He also talked about how much he really enjoyed our first conversation. I said the same, that I’d enjoyed it too and that the second time we spoke I was actually in a pretty foul mood when he called, but noticed I was much happier when we hung up the phone. We talked about going out on a second date and places we’d go. At one point, he reached across the table and took my hand ever so briefly, just to make a point. It caught me off guard, but also was really nice and kind of electrifying.
At 10:45, nearly 4 hours after we’d met there, we were both exhausted and ready to call it a night. He wouldn't let me pay the bill – but said I could buy him a drink the next time we go out. We got out to the parking lot, and he was parked directly adjacent to the restaurant/bar. I ended up parking in one of the overflow lots, so he said he would walk me to my car. As we were walking, he took my hand. When we got to my car, I hugged him, and then it just somehow led to a kiss. I don’t remember who kissed whom, but I do know it was Casey who took the kiss to the next level of kissing. So we kissed in the parking lot for a minute or so. I pulled away and for some reason, I couldn't really look at him! I think I was just caught off guard by the entire thing.
So after saying good night (I hope I remembered to thank him!) I got in my car and he was already walking away. When I pulled out of the parking lot and into the street, I saw him look back – which I thought was kind of nice.
He’s heading home this weekend to check on a few things there (he has people renting out his town home) and visit his family – so I won’t see him this weekend and probably not next week before I go to London. So I’m not sure what happens next.
It was funny – at one point in the evening, I think he confused me with another woman he’s met on the Site. We were talking about nationalities and he was like – “I know you told me that you’re Irish and German! But I can’t remember what else!!” Ironically, I AM both of those, but I know for a fact that we never had that discussion. So I played it off and didn't call him out on it and he was none the wiser.
So, it’s the morning after the date and I’m feeling OK about it – just OK. I know I had a great time, he’s cute and nice and funny (really funny, in fact). But something’s holding me back – and I’m not sure if it’s me being guarded and not wanting to let someone “in” and risk getting hurt, or if I have reservations about him and our compatibility. The rational side of me knows I need to just CHILL OUT and go with it and see what happens. I guess I can also feel good about knowing I got the "first kiss" of my new singledom out of the way!
Again, he was very complimentary of my smile and how genuine I came across in my profile (and seemed to be in person). He also talked about how much he really enjoyed our first conversation. I said the same, that I’d enjoyed it too and that the second time we spoke I was actually in a pretty foul mood when he called, but noticed I was much happier when we hung up the phone. We talked about going out on a second date and places we’d go. At one point, he reached across the table and took my hand ever so briefly, just to make a point. It caught me off guard, but also was really nice and kind of electrifying.
At 10:45, nearly 4 hours after we’d met there, we were both exhausted and ready to call it a night. He wouldn't let me pay the bill – but said I could buy him a drink the next time we go out. We got out to the parking lot, and he was parked directly adjacent to the restaurant/bar. I ended up parking in one of the overflow lots, so he said he would walk me to my car. As we were walking, he took my hand. When we got to my car, I hugged him, and then it just somehow led to a kiss. I don’t remember who kissed whom, but I do know it was Casey who took the kiss to the next level of kissing. So we kissed in the parking lot for a minute or so. I pulled away and for some reason, I couldn't really look at him! I think I was just caught off guard by the entire thing.
So after saying good night (I hope I remembered to thank him!) I got in my car and he was already walking away. When I pulled out of the parking lot and into the street, I saw him look back – which I thought was kind of nice.
He’s heading home this weekend to check on a few things there (he has people renting out his town home) and visit his family – so I won’t see him this weekend and probably not next week before I go to London. So I’m not sure what happens next.
It was funny – at one point in the evening, I think he confused me with another woman he’s met on the Site. We were talking about nationalities and he was like – “I know you told me that you’re Irish and German! But I can’t remember what else!!” Ironically, I AM both of those, but I know for a fact that we never had that discussion. So I played it off and didn't call him out on it and he was none the wiser.
So, it’s the morning after the date and I’m feeling OK about it – just OK. I know I had a great time, he’s cute and nice and funny (really funny, in fact). But something’s holding me back – and I’m not sure if it’s me being guarded and not wanting to let someone “in” and risk getting hurt, or if I have reservations about him and our compatibility. The rational side of me knows I need to just CHILL OUT and go with it and see what happens. I guess I can also feel good about knowing I got the "first kiss" of my new singledom out of the way!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Update-1.9.08
My date with Casey is tonight, and I’ll write more when I get home (or tomorrow, if it’s late). But here are the updates on the other men:
Ryan(the Text King) and I texted back and forth a few more times last night and I just got the final one from him this morning. We’re going to meet up on Saturday night. That boy needs to stop hiding behind the text message and give me a call.
Brian (the friend of sleazy co-worker) e-mailed me back last night and said we could get together Friday night, or if I’d prefer, when I get back from London. He said that even in a few weeks he will “still be thirsty for beer.” I like his sense of humor already. I have A LOT going on in the next week and I think I’ll take him up on that offer.
Jack (new newest guy) emailed me back last night. We’re meeting at a restaurant/microbrewery on Monday night. I don’t know much about him at all as we’ve only emailed back and forth twice. He seems kinda’ quiet/shy, so that could be an issue. But I’ll go and give him a chance.
T-minus 4.5 hours until my date with Casey!
Ryan(the Text King) and I texted back and forth a few more times last night and I just got the final one from him this morning. We’re going to meet up on Saturday night. That boy needs to stop hiding behind the text message and give me a call.
Brian (the friend of sleazy co-worker) e-mailed me back last night and said we could get together Friday night, or if I’d prefer, when I get back from London. He said that even in a few weeks he will “still be thirsty for beer.” I like his sense of humor already. I have A LOT going on in the next week and I think I’ll take him up on that offer.
Jack (new newest guy) emailed me back last night. We’re meeting at a restaurant/microbrewery on Monday night. I don’t know much about him at all as we’ve only emailed back and forth twice. He seems kinda’ quiet/shy, so that could be an issue. But I’ll go and give him a chance.
T-minus 4.5 hours until my date with Casey!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Update-1.8.08
Are men psychic? It's like they know when a woman has moved on, has put him out of her mind and abandoned any thought of expending additional energy in the situation.
Tonight, as I was preparing dinner and thinking about tomorrow's date with Casey, my phone started vibrating. A new text... from Mr. MIA Ryan (the text message king). Apparently he's back in town and curious what I'm up to this week. Unfortunately for him, I'm very busy - I have my date with Casey tomorrow and I have friends coming over on Thursday night. Friday night will be a quiet night at home (so I can be in tip-top shape for my favorite workout on Saturday morning). Saturday night - maybe if we're both out Ryan and I could meet up... And next week before I go to London for a week I may have a date with Brian or Jack (still need to tell you about him). I'm still interested in getting together with Ryan, but not at the cost of sacrificing anything significant (or time with a guy who has been much more responsive). I mean, he's never actually CALLED me and I haven't heard anything from him since New Year's Day. I'll text him back and suggest we get together after I'm back from London later this month, or that we can maybe meet up this weekend.
I need to call Casey tonight to finalize the plans for our date tomorrow night. I think I'll pick the dive bar/mexican restaurant near my office that he mentioned that he likes. I'm nervous to call him.
As for this Jack character, I'm not so sure about him, but we've been communicating through the site for what seems like awhile and he asked about meeting for a drink in his email on Saturday. He's a 6'1 engineer (same age as me) who lives in one of the suburbs. He's said several things that have led me to conclude that he might be really shy - that could be the drawback. I'd like to date someone a bit more outgoing. But we'll see - I'm keeping an open mind. I emailed him back today and suggested a few days that work for me.
Lastly, no response yet from Brian (the friend of the sleazy coworker). I hope that he writes me back soon; all the dates that I suggested we meet up are more or less filled up! And I want to hit the gym a few times before spending a week eating and drinking (and not working out) in London.
A wise friend of mine (who is now happily coupled up - yay DD!!) told me that in her experience finding a great guy is a numbers game. Reading back through this post, it appears I'm getting on board with that mentality and upping my odds!! It's raining men!!
Tonight, as I was preparing dinner and thinking about tomorrow's date with Casey, my phone started vibrating. A new text... from Mr. MIA Ryan (the text message king). Apparently he's back in town and curious what I'm up to this week. Unfortunately for him, I'm very busy - I have my date with Casey tomorrow and I have friends coming over on Thursday night. Friday night will be a quiet night at home (so I can be in tip-top shape for my favorite workout on Saturday morning). Saturday night - maybe if we're both out Ryan and I could meet up... And next week before I go to London for a week I may have a date with Brian or Jack (still need to tell you about him). I'm still interested in getting together with Ryan, but not at the cost of sacrificing anything significant (or time with a guy who has been much more responsive). I mean, he's never actually CALLED me and I haven't heard anything from him since New Year's Day. I'll text him back and suggest we get together after I'm back from London later this month, or that we can maybe meet up this weekend.
I need to call Casey tonight to finalize the plans for our date tomorrow night. I think I'll pick the dive bar/mexican restaurant near my office that he mentioned that he likes. I'm nervous to call him.
As for this Jack character, I'm not so sure about him, but we've been communicating through the site for what seems like awhile and he asked about meeting for a drink in his email on Saturday. He's a 6'1 engineer (same age as me) who lives in one of the suburbs. He's said several things that have led me to conclude that he might be really shy - that could be the drawback. I'd like to date someone a bit more outgoing. But we'll see - I'm keeping an open mind. I emailed him back today and suggested a few days that work for me.
Lastly, no response yet from Brian (the friend of the sleazy coworker). I hope that he writes me back soon; all the dates that I suggested we meet up are more or less filled up! And I want to hit the gym a few times before spending a week eating and drinking (and not working out) in London.
A wise friend of mine (who is now happily coupled up - yay DD!!) told me that in her experience finding a great guy is a numbers game. Reading back through this post, it appears I'm getting on board with that mentality and upping my odds!! It's raining men!!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Update-1.7.08
EEEEK! I just got off the phone with Casey. We talked for an hour and 45 minutes!! He called me around 7, but I was on the phone with my parents. He called back an hour later and we JUST got off the phone.
We had so much to talk about and he's funny - he cracks these cheesy jokes from time to time and then realizes that he's just been a huge dork and gets kind of embarrassed, but not really. It's quirky, I like it.
He was also super complimentary about my photos on the site (apparently, I have a really great smile), and he also spoke highly of my profile.
Also cute, in a weird, kind of way: he mentioned that he's shown my photo to a few of his friends and they all had nice things to say. He was quick to add that he shot down their requests to read my profile or any of the exchanges we'd had. Nice!
So - WE HAVE A DATE!! Wednesday night. No location yet. We agreed that I'm going to call him tomorrow night to finalize the plans. So much to talk about - I can't wait to meet him in person.
Oh! And for my astrology savvy friends - his birthday is 4 days before mine. He's an Aquarius too. Someone tell me what that means!
We had so much to talk about and he's funny - he cracks these cheesy jokes from time to time and then realizes that he's just been a huge dork and gets kind of embarrassed, but not really. It's quirky, I like it.
He was also super complimentary about my photos on the site (apparently, I have a really great smile), and he also spoke highly of my profile.
Also cute, in a weird, kind of way: he mentioned that he's shown my photo to a few of his friends and they all had nice things to say. He was quick to add that he shot down their requests to read my profile or any of the exchanges we'd had. Nice!
So - WE HAVE A DATE!! Wednesday night. No location yet. We agreed that I'm going to call him tomorrow night to finalize the plans. So much to talk about - I can't wait to meet him in person.
Oh! And for my astrology savvy friends - his birthday is 4 days before mine. He's an Aquarius too. Someone tell me what that means!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Update-1.6.08
Dilemma dilemma!
Would you go out with a guy whose married best friend tried to sleep with someone you know? Is the potential date sketchy and not trustworthy by association??
Here's the abbreviated back story:
On a business trip, during a night on the town with 2 colleagues (a guy and a woman) from one of my company's other offices, the guy told me that his best friend from college, Brian, lives in my city and also happens to be single. I indicated that I was open to being set up and he said that he'd make the introduction. Well, several hours and too many cocktails later, my coworker guy walked us (me and the other woman we work with) to our hotel. The next day I learned that he tried to hook up with her! He's married and has a child!! Of course, being the classy and self-respecting woman that she is, she turned him down and it's never been discussed.
Well, coworker guy introduced me and Brian over email just before Christmas. I replied back and suggested to Brian that we meet for dinner or drinks some night after work. He just replied, apologizing for the delayed response (he'd been out of the country on vacation) and suggested getting together this week.
I'd like to meet him but it seems somewhat pointless since I question whether I could ever trust him because of his best friend's nasty behavior.
So... tell me! Comments please! Am I overreacting and being paranoid? Or should I give cheater's best buddy a chance?
Switching gears to Casey - I emailed him back tonight and gave him my number. We'll see when he calls!!
Would you go out with a guy whose married best friend tried to sleep with someone you know? Is the potential date sketchy and not trustworthy by association??
Here's the abbreviated back story:
On a business trip, during a night on the town with 2 colleagues (a guy and a woman) from one of my company's other offices, the guy told me that his best friend from college, Brian, lives in my city and also happens to be single. I indicated that I was open to being set up and he said that he'd make the introduction. Well, several hours and too many cocktails later, my coworker guy walked us (me and the other woman we work with) to our hotel. The next day I learned that he tried to hook up with her! He's married and has a child!! Of course, being the classy and self-respecting woman that she is, she turned him down and it's never been discussed.
Well, coworker guy introduced me and Brian over email just before Christmas. I replied back and suggested to Brian that we meet for dinner or drinks some night after work. He just replied, apologizing for the delayed response (he'd been out of the country on vacation) and suggested getting together this week.
I'd like to meet him but it seems somewhat pointless since I question whether I could ever trust him because of his best friend's nasty behavior.
So... tell me! Comments please! Am I overreacting and being paranoid? Or should I give cheater's best buddy a chance?
Switching gears to Casey - I emailed him back tonight and gave him my number. We'll see when he calls!!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Update-1.5.08
Woooo Hooooo!!!
Casey not only emailed me back today, his email was so nice!! Ironically, we spent New Year's Eve at the same bar, just different locations. I guess we prefer a similar type of "scene" - definitely a good thing. The whole email was thoughful and well-written (not important to some, but key for me), and his closing almost made me fall off the couch:
As a matter of fact, I would love to call you sometime. I've been wanting to put a voice behind your smile for the longest time :)
Eeeee! I think I may have blushed when I read that - and that's a serious feat. I'll write him back tomorrow and include my phone number. Another date may be on the horizon!!
Is it shallow that I'm bummed that my eyebrow waxer is on vacation 'til the end of the month?? I may have to "cheat" on her and go to someone else in order to make myself presentable for a date with Casey!
Casey not only emailed me back today, his email was so nice!! Ironically, we spent New Year's Eve at the same bar, just different locations. I guess we prefer a similar type of "scene" - definitely a good thing. The whole email was thoughful and well-written (not important to some, but key for me), and his closing almost made me fall off the couch:
As a matter of fact, I would love to call you sometime. I've been wanting to put a voice behind your smile for the longest time :)
Eeeee! I think I may have blushed when I read that - and that's a serious feat. I'll write him back tomorrow and include my phone number. Another date may be on the horizon!!
Is it shallow that I'm bummed that my eyebrow waxer is on vacation 'til the end of the month?? I may have to "cheat" on her and go to someone else in order to make myself presentable for a date with Casey!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Update-1.3.08
I think I'm excited about one of my matches from the site! I know I've been downplaying the prospects and complaining about the lack of viable options. But all along, there's been a guy I've been communicating with - Casey. He's my age, taller than me and cute in a boy-next-door kind of way. He's not the hot, stop-and-stare type, which is quite OK with me. He impressed me before Christmas by emailing me and saying something about how he knew it's a busy time of year and if we didn't talk 'til after the holidays, he hoped I had fun. I was impressed with that, especially since those other 2 guys closed me out for being "unresponsive" a/k/a BUSY. Anyway, back to Casey - he seems really cool, nice and NORMAL. He emailed me last night and I didn't get it until this morning. I just emailed him back and found myself wanting to suggest an in-person meeting. But I held off - maybe I've been suggesting that too soon with the other guys? In any case, hopefully I'll meet Casey in person next week or the following week.
In the interim, I hope to hear (and go out with) Ryan. Still no word from him and I'm not even allowing myself to think about contacting him until at least Saturday.
I need some dates though! Without dates, this is getting boring!!
In the interim, I hope to hear (and go out with) Ryan. Still no word from him and I'm not even allowing myself to think about contacting him until at least Saturday.
I need some dates though! Without dates, this is getting boring!!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Update-1.2.08
Remind me to stop drinking.
On New Year’s Eve, in the midst of a (very) drunken, wild night I sent Ryan a text message!! The fact that I did that was so unsmooth and not part of the larger plan I’d devised earlier in the day: to text him something witty on New Years Day, thereby renewing contact. But no – after significant quantities of tequila, vodka, beer, and champagne (yes, a terrible combination and I paid for it on New Years Day), I thought it was a good idea to send him a message. Thankfully, I had the sense to consult my equally trashed friend to ensure that the content wasn’t too desperate or lame (and actually, miracle of miracles, in the sober light of day, it really wasn’t!).
He wrote a nice message back to me on New Years Day morning. So now what?? He got my number what seems like ages ago. Is he ever going to use it to call and ask me out? My friend/colleague says that the ball is now in my court. She thinks I should suggest getting together for drinks or invite him along to a happy hour with my friends. The honest, deep down truth – he got my number, I want HIM to ask ME out. I’ll give it another couple of days to see if I hear from him.
No promising new matches have been delivered to my Inbox. The site has been advertising like crazy for the New Year – promotional rates and free trials. I hope that brings in some quality prospects!! The pool seems to be drying up!
On New Year’s Eve, in the midst of a (very) drunken, wild night I sent Ryan a text message!! The fact that I did that was so unsmooth and not part of the larger plan I’d devised earlier in the day: to text him something witty on New Years Day, thereby renewing contact. But no – after significant quantities of tequila, vodka, beer, and champagne (yes, a terrible combination and I paid for it on New Years Day), I thought it was a good idea to send him a message. Thankfully, I had the sense to consult my equally trashed friend to ensure that the content wasn’t too desperate or lame (and actually, miracle of miracles, in the sober light of day, it really wasn’t!).
He wrote a nice message back to me on New Years Day morning. So now what?? He got my number what seems like ages ago. Is he ever going to use it to call and ask me out? My friend/colleague says that the ball is now in my court. She thinks I should suggest getting together for drinks or invite him along to a happy hour with my friends. The honest, deep down truth – he got my number, I want HIM to ask ME out. I’ll give it another couple of days to see if I hear from him.
No promising new matches have been delivered to my Inbox. The site has been advertising like crazy for the New Year – promotional rates and free trials. I hope that brings in some quality prospects!! The pool seems to be drying up!
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