I've been thinking about last night's date a lot this morning. And I remembered that something really did bother me about Tom. Please tell me if I'm being sensitive/overreacting:
We were talking about the dating site - specifically about closing out matches and laughing about closing out people who live "too far" away. We agreed that it's not the mileage that's the problem, it's the traffic that turns 15 miles into a 60 minute drive to see someone. And we agreed that we closed people out who didn't have pictures. Funny, funny, ha, ha, ha. Then, he told me that he closes out any woman who doesn't post a full length picture. Interesting... please elaborate, Tom. And he did. Apparently, any woman that doesn't post a full length photo of her body could be hiding "a giant, ba-donk-ka-donk ass." Hmmm... Really? Lovely. And he continued to tell me that he's seen it more than once - these women who post head photos and have big asses in person.
Yikes. So really...let's take a step back. I'm no super model. As such, I don't expect the guy I am going to be with to have a perfect physique. However, Tom isn't perfect either and I was a bit taken aback (and somewhat offended) that he'd be so outwardly critical and judgmental, especially on a first date!!
Thoughts?
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2 comments:
I'd agree that it wasn't necessarily the best/ most polite/ most PC thing for him to say on a first date, but I wouldn't let it be the reason you stop seeing this guy and seeing where it goes with him. Maybe he was just trying to be funny and get you to laugh or smile again. I wouldn't read anything into it (or worry about your own smokin' bod and whether it's up to his or anyone else's standards), and see how your next convos/ dates with him go.
I understand your concern, however I don't think it's cause for alarm. If he's weeding out women with "pretty faces" (with disproportionate butts), he is certainly being selective.
Does this mean he is a judgmental person? Does this mean he dislikes overweight people? Not necessarily.
I don't think there's any need to be on your best behavior on a first date. In fact, why not show yourself not being your best? If this man is staightforward, you can know his true self much more quickly.
No need to go out with him again if he turns you off in multiple ways. When you really like someone, you even like their quirkiness and even their judgmental parts.
Frommet
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