A coworker (who is older than me by about 15 years and jokingly calls herself "mom" to me) sent me an email with the subject line: New Prospect. I figured a new customer had come on board and there was an action item for me. I was pleasantly surprised to open the message and read that she wants to set me up with Andy, the son of the guy she is dating. She asked if I'd be up for it... sure! So what if he's geographically undesirable (he lives 3 hours away - not terrible)... what do I have to lose?
She sent me a picture of Andy and he's cute and apparently he's also smart, active, funny and a "good guy." He has a good job, loves his dog and is close with his family. Her only warning where we might not mesh - "he might be too much of a good 'ole southern boy" (her words, not mine). :) So, I gave her my number to pass along to Andy. Why not?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
First Date Update... After thoughts
I've been thinking about last night's date a lot this morning. And I remembered that something really did bother me about Tom. Please tell me if I'm being sensitive/overreacting:
We were talking about the dating site - specifically about closing out matches and laughing about closing out people who live "too far" away. We agreed that it's not the mileage that's the problem, it's the traffic that turns 15 miles into a 60 minute drive to see someone. And we agreed that we closed people out who didn't have pictures. Funny, funny, ha, ha, ha. Then, he told me that he closes out any woman who doesn't post a full length picture. Interesting... please elaborate, Tom. And he did. Apparently, any woman that doesn't post a full length photo of her body could be hiding "a giant, ba-donk-ka-donk ass." Hmmm... Really? Lovely. And he continued to tell me that he's seen it more than once - these women who post head photos and have big asses in person.
Yikes. So really...let's take a step back. I'm no super model. As such, I don't expect the guy I am going to be with to have a perfect physique. However, Tom isn't perfect either and I was a bit taken aback (and somewhat offended) that he'd be so outwardly critical and judgmental, especially on a first date!!
Thoughts?
We were talking about the dating site - specifically about closing out matches and laughing about closing out people who live "too far" away. We agreed that it's not the mileage that's the problem, it's the traffic that turns 15 miles into a 60 minute drive to see someone. And we agreed that we closed people out who didn't have pictures. Funny, funny, ha, ha, ha. Then, he told me that he closes out any woman who doesn't post a full length picture. Interesting... please elaborate, Tom. And he did. Apparently, any woman that doesn't post a full length photo of her body could be hiding "a giant, ba-donk-ka-donk ass." Hmmm... Really? Lovely. And he continued to tell me that he's seen it more than once - these women who post head photos and have big asses in person.
Yikes. So really...let's take a step back. I'm no super model. As such, I don't expect the guy I am going to be with to have a perfect physique. However, Tom isn't perfect either and I was a bit taken aback (and somewhat offended) that he'd be so outwardly critical and judgmental, especially on a first date!!
Thoughts?
Monday, March 22, 2010
First Date Update
One of my good friends told me that when I give my report of tonight's date with Tom, I need to rank it on a scale of 1 to 10. Ten being outstanding; one being horrible. After thoughtful consideration I've realized I need to break up the rankings into categories (are any of you who know me well surprised?!?): compatibility, chemistry/attraction and overall.
Compatibility: 7.5/8 - Tom and I had LOTS to talk about and did a lot of laughing. There was never really a lull or an awkward quiet moment over the course of the entire two hour dinner. I learned a lot of new things about him, but I feel like he didn't really ask me a lot of questions - mostly I think that anything he learned about me, he learned because I'm generally an open book and a chatterbox and I volunteered the information.
Chemistry/Attraction: 5 - Height is gooooood. Even with my 3 inch heels on, Tom is still a half a foot taller than me (!!!!) - that definitely doesn't hurt. :) At this point, I'm not overly drawn to him, but I'm not necessarily un-attracted to him, either. I can't picture making out with him, but then again, I can't really picture myself making out with anyone
Overall ranking: 7 - He's leaving town for work tomorrow, but said he'd give me a call when he gets back... so we'll see!!
Interestingly, as I'm writing this, Tom and I are exchanging text messages. I told him about this website I'd heard about and he didn't believe me that it existed. He mentioned that he was going to go home and check it out - so he texted me to confirm its existence and we've been bantering back and forth about it. Hmmmmmm... ;-)
Compatibility: 7.5/8 - Tom and I had LOTS to talk about and did a lot of laughing. There was never really a lull or an awkward quiet moment over the course of the entire two hour dinner. I learned a lot of new things about him, but I feel like he didn't really ask me a lot of questions - mostly I think that anything he learned about me, he learned because I'm generally an open book and a chatterbox and I volunteered the information.
Chemistry/Attraction: 5 - Height is gooooood. Even with my 3 inch heels on, Tom is still a half a foot taller than me (!!!!) - that definitely doesn't hurt. :) At this point, I'm not overly drawn to him, but I'm not necessarily un-attracted to him, either. I can't picture making out with him, but then again, I can't really picture myself making out with anyone
Overall ranking: 7 - He's leaving town for work tomorrow, but said he'd give me a call when he gets back... so we'll see!!
Interestingly, as I'm writing this, Tom and I are exchanging text messages. I told him about this website I'd heard about and he didn't believe me that it existed. He mentioned that he was going to go home and check it out - so he texted me to confirm its existence and we've been bantering back and forth about it. Hmmmmmm... ;-)
Giddy up!!
Tonight's the night!! Gettin' back on the horse... my first date in nearly a year.
I'm really looking forward to meeting Tom in person and seeing if there's any sort of spark or chemistry. FINGERS CROSSED!! Or, here's to it at least being a pleasant evening... and if it's miserable or he's terrible (which I can't see happening) at least I'll have a good story to share!
My prediction (based on past experiences of people I've met through the site): I think he'll be nice and we'll have a good time together tonight, but there won't be any chemistry. He'll be the kind of guy I could have a beer with on a Sunday afternoon... not the kind of guy I'd want to wake up next to on a Sunday morning. ;-) Either way, this is a good thing... I'm back OUT THERE. And PS - Debbie Downer has left the building and Suzy is back.
The plan is to meet up with Tom at 6:30 at one of my favorite restaurants - that is also really close to his condo. I'll try to give an update tonight or as soon as I can tomorrow.
I'm really looking forward to meeting Tom in person and seeing if there's any sort of spark or chemistry. FINGERS CROSSED!! Or, here's to it at least being a pleasant evening... and if it's miserable or he's terrible (which I can't see happening) at least I'll have a good story to share!
My prediction (based on past experiences of people I've met through the site): I think he'll be nice and we'll have a good time together tonight, but there won't be any chemistry. He'll be the kind of guy I could have a beer with on a Sunday afternoon... not the kind of guy I'd want to wake up next to on a Sunday morning. ;-) Either way, this is a good thing... I'm back OUT THERE. And PS - Debbie Downer has left the building and Suzy is back.
The plan is to meet up with Tom at 6:30 at one of my favorite restaurants - that is also really close to his condo. I'll try to give an update tonight or as soon as I can tomorrow.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Talk about getting creative and adventurous in the search for Za Za Zu!!
Check this out!!
I came across this website today and must applaud this woman for her creativity and cajones!! Seriously - bravo sister!! Example #702 of how hard it is to find love...
http://site.highwaytoahusband.com/Home.html
I came across this website today and must applaud this woman for her creativity and cajones!! Seriously - bravo sister!! Example #702 of how hard it is to find love...
http://site.highwaytoahusband.com/Home.html
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Suzy Sunshine has left the building...
I didn't end up texting Tom last weekend. I was in a pretty foul mood that day and didn't feel much like talking to, or corresponding with, anyone. More on this funk, actually, it's shaping up to be a perma-funk, later... I'll give the Tom update first.
He didn't call on Sunday like I'd expected, and kind of even hoped, he would. I was out of town for business the first half of this week and I was pleasantly surprised when, as I was pulling my phone out to update my Facebook status, his call came in. I answered, we talked for a few minutes. I explained to him that I was out of town for work and having dinner with a friend. He told me I could call him up until about 11:30 pm. When I called him back, the conversation was good - we talked for about 30 minutes. We agreed to meet up on Monday night at one of my favorite restaurants (in fact, the restaurant where I had my birthday party!). I hope it wasn't a faux pas that I asked if our get-together for Monday night was for drinks or for dinner - if the plan was just to be for drinks, I'd eat something before meeting him. But if we were going to eat together, I obviously wouldn't eat anything beforehand. I think my question caught him off-guard because it was slightly awkward for a few seconds. Ooops! Oh well, if that is too much for him, best to find that out up front. He indicated that he'd email me on Monday to confirm the plan. I've decided that he's really the only match I'm remotely excited about.
The other guy I'm openly emailing with I'm actually somewhat annoyed with. His first email to me was the equivalent of a questionnaire: Where are you from? Do you have a dog? Where do you like to go out to eat? Where did you go to college? Where did you grow up? Where do you like to visit? Where do you want to travel to? ... and the questions continued. I kid you not - there were probably 20 open-ended questions. I answered as many as I felt like until it sort of got a little out of hand and it started to feel forced. I turned it back on him because there was absolutely no flow to his email and nothing for me to work with and latch on to. I sent him some questions back and guess what? He replied back with his answers... and even more questions. What the heck?!? Does anyone else find that somewhat awkward and borderline bizarre? There's no banter, no dialogue. Just Q&A. We'll call him Quentin since he's proving to be Quentin the King of Questions. I owe him an email back, but I'm not even remotely excited to reply.
This lack of enthusiasm could be my lack of excitement in my matches, but I think it's all symptomatic of the fact that I'm stuck in a perma-funk. I can't shake it. I feel sad. My soul feels heavy. Am I dead on the inside? Am I ever again going to meet someone who I'm excited about? Who makes me feel giddy and energetic and makes me feel like I've surpassed Cloud 9 and am sittin' pretty on Cloud 14 or even, Cloud 20?
When I feel like this, it's so easy to slip off the path and get stuck wallowing and wondering: What if I'm one of those people who is just never going to find her "person"? What if the life I want for myself (husband, kids) isn't the life I'm supposed to lead? I joke about it with my family and some friends, make light of my situation and the lack of dates and lack of interesting people I meet ... but the laughter is just there to try to make light of the fact that I'm really getting freaked out that it's just going to be me. Forever.
And yes, so one of my best friends pointed out to me that THIS, right now, is the worst it's ever going to get. And it's a great point: If this is the worst, is that so bad? In actuality, no, it's not. I have great friends and a wonderful family. A good job, that I generally enjoy that allows me to pursue my outside interests. My health. So... if this is the worst it's ever going to get, I know I could handle it. It just makes my heart sad and leaves me feeling empty that I might need to realign my expectations for my life and shift what I want to line up more with the reality.
Ugh.I don't want to give up - I used to be Suzy Sunshine, the biggest damn believer in The Fairy Tale. I'm not so delusional to believe that anything is perfect, I just want to find the guy who is perfect for me. Right now, I'm having the hardest time believing that he's actually out there.
I seriously need to shake this funk before my date with Tom on Monday. I need to reclaim Suzy Sunshine so that Debbie Downer doesn't show up for dinner.
He didn't call on Sunday like I'd expected, and kind of even hoped, he would. I was out of town for business the first half of this week and I was pleasantly surprised when, as I was pulling my phone out to update my Facebook status, his call came in. I answered, we talked for a few minutes. I explained to him that I was out of town for work and having dinner with a friend. He told me I could call him up until about 11:30 pm. When I called him back, the conversation was good - we talked for about 30 minutes. We agreed to meet up on Monday night at one of my favorite restaurants (in fact, the restaurant where I had my birthday party!). I hope it wasn't a faux pas that I asked if our get-together for Monday night was for drinks or for dinner - if the plan was just to be for drinks, I'd eat something before meeting him. But if we were going to eat together, I obviously wouldn't eat anything beforehand. I think my question caught him off-guard because it was slightly awkward for a few seconds. Ooops! Oh well, if that is too much for him, best to find that out up front. He indicated that he'd email me on Monday to confirm the plan. I've decided that he's really the only match I'm remotely excited about.
The other guy I'm openly emailing with I'm actually somewhat annoyed with. His first email to me was the equivalent of a questionnaire: Where are you from? Do you have a dog? Where do you like to go out to eat? Where did you go to college? Where did you grow up? Where do you like to visit? Where do you want to travel to? ... and the questions continued. I kid you not - there were probably 20 open-ended questions. I answered as many as I felt like until it sort of got a little out of hand and it started to feel forced. I turned it back on him because there was absolutely no flow to his email and nothing for me to work with and latch on to. I sent him some questions back and guess what? He replied back with his answers... and even more questions. What the heck?!? Does anyone else find that somewhat awkward and borderline bizarre? There's no banter, no dialogue. Just Q&A. We'll call him Quentin since he's proving to be Quentin the King of Questions. I owe him an email back, but I'm not even remotely excited to reply.
This lack of enthusiasm could be my lack of excitement in my matches, but I think it's all symptomatic of the fact that I'm stuck in a perma-funk. I can't shake it. I feel sad. My soul feels heavy. Am I dead on the inside? Am I ever again going to meet someone who I'm excited about? Who makes me feel giddy and energetic and makes me feel like I've surpassed Cloud 9 and am sittin' pretty on Cloud 14 or even, Cloud 20?
When I feel like this, it's so easy to slip off the path and get stuck wallowing and wondering: What if I'm one of those people who is just never going to find her "person"? What if the life I want for myself (husband, kids) isn't the life I'm supposed to lead? I joke about it with my family and some friends, make light of my situation and the lack of dates and lack of interesting people I meet ... but the laughter is just there to try to make light of the fact that I'm really getting freaked out that it's just going to be me. Forever.
And yes, so one of my best friends pointed out to me that THIS, right now, is the worst it's ever going to get. And it's a great point: If this is the worst, is that so bad? In actuality, no, it's not. I have great friends and a wonderful family. A good job, that I generally enjoy that allows me to pursue my outside interests. My health. So... if this is the worst it's ever going to get, I know I could handle it. It just makes my heart sad and leaves me feeling empty that I might need to realign my expectations for my life and shift what I want to line up more with the reality.
Ugh.I don't want to give up - I used to be Suzy Sunshine, the biggest damn believer in The Fairy Tale. I'm not so delusional to believe that anything is perfect, I just want to find the guy who is perfect for me. Right now, I'm having the hardest time believing that he's actually out there.
I seriously need to shake this funk before my date with Tom on Monday. I need to reclaim Suzy Sunshine so that Debbie Downer doesn't show up for dinner.
Friday, March 12, 2010
To Text or Not to Text, that is the question.
Tom is going out of town this weekend to visit his parents. We agreed that he'd call me when he gets back in town (I hope/expect to hear from him Sunday evening) to set up a day and time to meet.
A good friend suggested I shoot him a text after work today saying that I hope he has a great weekend with his family, look forward to catching up next week, blah, blah, blah. Short and sweet.
Yay or nay? Too pushy/desperate? Or a thoughtful gesture?
Reply quickly - If I send the text, it's gotta be this evening!
A good friend suggested I shoot him a text after work today saying that I hope he has a great weekend with his family, look forward to catching up next week, blah, blah, blah. Short and sweet.
Yay or nay? Too pushy/desperate? Or a thoughtful gesture?
Reply quickly - If I send the text, it's gotta be this evening!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Cue The Twilight Zone music!!
My conversation with Tom last night was really good - we did a lot of laughing and seem to have a similar sense of humor. We both found it entertaining that somehow, within the first 10 minutes, we discussed politics and he laughed really hard when I told him that we might as well tackle the topics of gun control and abortion next. We ended up talking for just under an hour and the time seemed to fly by.
I learned one thing about him that absolutely BLEW MY MIND... One thing about me: deja vu and "completely random, small world coincidences" totally freaked me out. I know this might be total romanticism and nonsense, but I've always believed that when stuff like that happens, it means my life is on the right path. It's just a little sign that everything is lining up how it's supposed to go. Now, for those of you who know me well, please don't think I'm going so far to think that Tom is The One based solely on this crazy coincidence, but it left me borderline speechless when Tom told me what building he lives in. I responded with "My good friend Matthew used to live there." And he said "Matthew Fredericks?" Turns out he bought his condo from my friend and still gets his junk mail from time-to-time! Isn't that crazy?!?
So, where did we leave things? He's heading out of town for the weekend and is going to give me a call when he gets back so we can set up a time to get together. I'm still not over-the-moon crushing over Tom, but I'm definitely looking forward to meeting him in person.
I learned one thing about him that absolutely BLEW MY MIND... One thing about me: deja vu and "completely random, small world coincidences" totally freaked me out. I know this might be total romanticism and nonsense, but I've always believed that when stuff like that happens, it means my life is on the right path. It's just a little sign that everything is lining up how it's supposed to go. Now, for those of you who know me well, please don't think I'm going so far to think that Tom is The One based solely on this crazy coincidence, but it left me borderline speechless when Tom told me what building he lives in. I responded with "My good friend Matthew used to live there." And he said "Matthew Fredericks?" Turns out he bought his condo from my friend and still gets his junk mail from time-to-time! Isn't that crazy?!?
So, where did we leave things? He's heading out of town for the weekend and is going to give me a call when he gets back so we can set up a time to get together. I'm still not over-the-moon crushing over Tom, but I'm definitely looking forward to meeting him in person.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Three-Day Rule?
Tom called last night. I gave him my number on Saturday morning... tell me he wasn't following "The Three-Day Rule." I sincerely hope he's not one of those types of guys... Anyway, when he called last night I wasn't able to chat. I was taking care of some work-stuff and by the time I finished, I was pooped and needed to go to bed. He called around 8:30. I just called him back tonight (just now)... and got his voicemail. Ahhh... phone tag. Nothing like prolonging the nervousness...
I'm not overly excited about any of the matches I'm communicating with. I feel kind of like I'm just going through the motions. A wise friend (and coworker!) told me today not to be discouraged, that I need to warm up before I can get back into the game... not a bad way of looking at this situation. I just want to be excited about a guy again, and have it lead somewhere, and not have it end. Is that too much to ask? ;-)
I'm not overly excited about any of the matches I'm communicating with. I feel kind of like I'm just going through the motions. A wise friend (and coworker!) told me today not to be discouraged, that I need to warm up before I can get back into the game... not a bad way of looking at this situation. I just want to be excited about a guy again, and have it lead somewhere, and not have it end. Is that too much to ask? ;-)
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The number has been given....
I just replied back to Tom's email and gave him my number. I wonder when he'll call. Will he use the 3-day rule? Somehow I don't think the 3 day rule applies with online dating. He's FUNNY. His email cracked me up. I hope I find him just as entertaining in person. Few things are more attractive to me than a guy who can make me laugh. Hence my mad crushes on Jon Stewart, Ben Stiller and Steve Carrell. Some chemistry would be nice too. :)
I closed a few guys from the site this morning. One was waaaaaay too religious for me, based on comments he made in his profile and the numerous photos of all his mission trips. One was a combination of geographically undesirable and too religious. One didn't have a single picture - yet claimed to travel ALL THE TIME (does he not take pictures on his adventures?). I left one guy in who I'm not overly crazy about, but thought I'd give it a few days and see if I hear from him, or if he closes me out.
Any bets on when Tom will call?
I closed a few guys from the site this morning. One was waaaaaay too religious for me, based on comments he made in his profile and the numerous photos of all his mission trips. One was a combination of geographically undesirable and too religious. One didn't have a single picture - yet claimed to travel ALL THE TIME (does he not take pictures on his adventures?). I left one guy in who I'm not overly crazy about, but thought I'd give it a few days and see if I hear from him, or if he closes me out.
Any bets on when Tom will call?
Friday, March 5, 2010
Hello Nervous. Where did you come from?
I'm pretty sure I'm the biggest dork on the planet.
One of the guys I've been communicating with on the site responded to my initial email message last night. Tom seems pretty funny and very upbeat. I liked his answers to my questions and his reply back to my email was good: really fast (same night) and witty. I also like how he was assertive and asked for my number right away so we can talk and get to know each other. Despite liking his assertiveness, it also set free a family of butterflies in my stomach.
Oh dating... here it comes. I can't decide if it's approaching like a cowboy on a horse trotting out of the sunset or a missile blowing out of the sky with a whistle coming up behind it (like in the cartoons). Either way, I'm nervous as hell and can feel that I'm guarded and beyond freaked out at the prospect of having my heart broken again. I keep trying to remind myself that the reward finding love is worth the risk of a broken heart.
I'll email Tom back tonight with my number and we'll see what happens. No point in turning back now!
One of the guys I've been communicating with on the site responded to my initial email message last night. Tom seems pretty funny and very upbeat. I liked his answers to my questions and his reply back to my email was good: really fast (same night) and witty. I also like how he was assertive and asked for my number right away so we can talk and get to know each other. Despite liking his assertiveness, it also set free a family of butterflies in my stomach.
Oh dating... here it comes. I can't decide if it's approaching like a cowboy on a horse trotting out of the sunset or a missile blowing out of the sky with a whistle coming up behind it (like in the cartoons). Either way, I'm nervous as hell and can feel that I'm guarded and beyond freaked out at the prospect of having my heart broken again. I keep trying to remind myself that the reward finding love is worth the risk of a broken heart.
I'll email Tom back tonight with my number and we'll see what happens. No point in turning back now!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Question for you...
One of my matches sent me the following question: Tell me a funny story about yourself. Wow! And there were only 690 characters to reply... The space limitations, the "lost in translation" over email factor, the inability to share stories that involve others because the humor is usually lost when you don't know the personalities... I was STUMPED about what to share.
So I served up the tale of the Tragic Hair Dye Incident of 8th Grade. Here was my response (it killed me not to be my usual descriptive self!):
I'm a brunette. When I was 14 I wanted to be a blond - platinum blond. So several friends and I went to CVS after school and bought an at-home dye kit. I learned the hard way that blond dye turns brown hair bright orange. To make matters worse, it was permanent. I had to cut all my hair off and kids at school took to calling me the "sand warrior" because my hair basically glowed in the light. It took several YEARS for the orange to fully go away. I haven't lived it down yet with my family - they still tease me about it. Yikes - that didn't even seem funny to me as I re-read it. Booooo. I've got a whole arsenal of absurdities I could share - tricky to convey in writing! My coworkers have started referencing "pulling a Renee" when they do something funny or embarrassing because it's totally commonplace for me to entertain others with the absurdities of my day to day existence.
Ugh.
After re-reading it, I'm unimpressed with my reply (I wasn't excited about it at the time either) and am nearly certain this guy will be equally unimpressed. So I open it up to you... Please comment and tell me what story should I have shared with this guy in response to his request to "share a funny story about" myself.
So I served up the tale of the Tragic Hair Dye Incident of 8th Grade. Here was my response (it killed me not to be my usual descriptive self!):
I'm a brunette. When I was 14 I wanted to be a blond - platinum blond. So several friends and I went to CVS after school and bought an at-home dye kit. I learned the hard way that blond dye turns brown hair bright orange. To make matters worse, it was permanent. I had to cut all my hair off and kids at school took to calling me the "sand warrior" because my hair basically glowed in the light. It took several YEARS for the orange to fully go away. I haven't lived it down yet with my family - they still tease me about it. Yikes - that didn't even seem funny to me as I re-read it. Booooo. I've got a whole arsenal of absurdities I could share - tricky to convey in writing! My coworkers have started referencing "pulling a Renee" when they do something funny or embarrassing because it's totally commonplace for me to entertain others with the absurdities of my day to day existence.
Ugh.
After re-reading it, I'm unimpressed with my reply (I wasn't excited about it at the time either) and am nearly certain this guy will be equally unimpressed. So I open it up to you... Please comment and tell me what story should I have shared with this guy in response to his request to "share a funny story about" myself.
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