I woke up feeling so relieved after resolving the situation with Casey yesterday. I felt empowered, I had regained control over my dating life. Things were exactly as I wanted them to be. With thoughts like that, I should have known that a curveball was coming my way.
Imagine my surprise when I logged into my personal email at work first thing this morning and there was an email from Jack - the painfully shy engineer. I thought he would have picked up on my subtle put-off 2 weeks ago when I told him (vaguely) that I couldn't commit to anything because my next few weeks were crazy with work and personal commitments. His email was nice - he hoped I had a great time in London and said to let him know when I would like to get together again.
For a split second, I had the juvenile inclination not to reply - hoping that he'd pick up on the hint. But my wise friend (and loyal commenter) J, brought me back to maturity and told me to email him back and let him know, nicely, that there wouldn't be a second date. So I emailed him back tonight and told a small fib about why we can't get together again (I'm pursuing things with another match - which is true, I just haven't met "that match" yet).
A bunch of new guys were delivered to my Inbox. A few seem viable... I'll share the scoop if anything progresses!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Update 2 -1.27.08
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww... that's the sound of my sigh of relief.
Rewind to earlier this afternoon: I had just gotten home from the gym and was getting cleaned up for the date with Casey when my phone rang. I was hoping it was one of my girlfriends, but my stomach immediately sunk when I saw that it was him calling. I just didn't feel like talking to talk to him, so I let it go to voicemail (sign #s 699 and 700 that I'm not that into him - stomach dropping when he calls and call screening).
I listened to his voicemail, fully expecting it to be a message confirming our plans for the evening. But in a fortuitous twist of events, he needed to cancel for tonight because he was working on some reports for his job. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, which made me feel so guilty for feeling a sense of relief. He said that he hoped we could reschedule for this week.
Knowing that I have plans every night this week, and knowing I wasn't feeling "it" anymore, I took this as a sign that this was the time to be honest. After verbally processing my "speech" to several friends (thanks ladies!), I called him.
We small-talked for a bit and finally the subject of rescheduling our date came up. I took the opportunity to tell him that our discussion Friday night got me thinking that the connection I feel to him is more friendly than romantic. He was silent as I fumbled over my words, and he ended the conversation nearly as soon as I was finished, saying that he needed to get back to his work. It was awkward and rushed, and his feelings were obviously hurt and I felt like a big jerk.
But as soon as the conversation ended, after the panic cleared from my room, I felt relieved, less stressed and able to exhale.
It's refreshing to know that there really are good guys out there like Casey. But if I don't feel the chemistry, I'm not going to waste both of our time trying to create something that isn't there. There's someone great out there for him, it's just not me. And there's someone great out there for me, it's just not him.
So the search continues... it's time to revamp my efforts on finding Mr. Right.
Rewind to earlier this afternoon: I had just gotten home from the gym and was getting cleaned up for the date with Casey when my phone rang. I was hoping it was one of my girlfriends, but my stomach immediately sunk when I saw that it was him calling. I just didn't feel like talking to talk to him, so I let it go to voicemail (sign #s 699 and 700 that I'm not that into him - stomach dropping when he calls and call screening).
I listened to his voicemail, fully expecting it to be a message confirming our plans for the evening. But in a fortuitous twist of events, he needed to cancel for tonight because he was working on some reports for his job. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, which made me feel so guilty for feeling a sense of relief. He said that he hoped we could reschedule for this week.
Knowing that I have plans every night this week, and knowing I wasn't feeling "it" anymore, I took this as a sign that this was the time to be honest. After verbally processing my "speech" to several friends (thanks ladies!), I called him.
We small-talked for a bit and finally the subject of rescheduling our date came up. I took the opportunity to tell him that our discussion Friday night got me thinking that the connection I feel to him is more friendly than romantic. He was silent as I fumbled over my words, and he ended the conversation nearly as soon as I was finished, saying that he needed to get back to his work. It was awkward and rushed, and his feelings were obviously hurt and I felt like a big jerk.
But as soon as the conversation ended, after the panic cleared from my room, I felt relieved, less stressed and able to exhale.
It's refreshing to know that there really are good guys out there like Casey. But if I don't feel the chemistry, I'm not going to waste both of our time trying to create something that isn't there. There's someone great out there for him, it's just not me. And there's someone great out there for me, it's just not him.
So the search continues... it's time to revamp my efforts on finding Mr. Right.
Update-1.27.08
Casey called on Friday night. He called around 6:30, but I didn't have a chance to call him back 'til just before 9. It was good to talk with him - he made me laugh a lot and we had plenty to talk about. I was a bit annoyed that at 9:00 he asked me out for THAT night ("well, what are you up to tonight?"). I told him that I was already in my pajamas (to which he replied "well...that could be sexy" - which kind of grossed me out - more on that later) so that night was out of the question. We agreed to do dinner on Sunday night, but I think I'm just not feeling the attraction anymore, hence why that comment grossed me out.
All weekend, I've not been looking forward to the date - it almost seems like more of an inconvenience. I feel terrible having these thoughts, but I think it's indicative that I'm just not that into him.
So he's picking me up at 7 tonight and we're going to a tapas restaurant. I wish I was more excited about the evening, I'm just not.
One of my college roommates instituted the "three date rule" when she was dating around. If she wasn't sure about a guy, she went on 3 dates with him to find out for sure. I have a bad feeling that after tonight, I'll be asking everyone for easy ways
to let him down.
On a related note, I had the "dial it down" talk with Casey on Friday night. I said that I'd just gotten out of a relationship, and I was enjoying getting to know him and hoping we could continue to do so, but that we could take our time in getting to know each other. He asked me if that was me putting him into the "friend zone." I told him it wasn't - because in my mind it was the truth. But now, after more thought, I think it's going in that direction.
He's going to be bummed - but we've only gone out on two dates and been talking for 3weeks. I do feel kind of bad that his birthday is next weekend, though. If I decide after tonight that I'm not that into him, do I need to wait until after his birthday to have "the talk?" And, I can do it over the phone, right??
Advice please!!
All weekend, I've not been looking forward to the date - it almost seems like more of an inconvenience. I feel terrible having these thoughts, but I think it's indicative that I'm just not that into him.
So he's picking me up at 7 tonight and we're going to a tapas restaurant. I wish I was more excited about the evening, I'm just not.
One of my college roommates instituted the "three date rule" when she was dating around. If she wasn't sure about a guy, she went on 3 dates with him to find out for sure. I have a bad feeling that after tonight, I'll be asking everyone for easy ways
to let him down.
On a related note, I had the "dial it down" talk with Casey on Friday night. I said that I'd just gotten out of a relationship, and I was enjoying getting to know him and hoping we could continue to do so, but that we could take our time in getting to know each other. He asked me if that was me putting him into the "friend zone." I told him it wasn't - because in my mind it was the truth. But now, after more thought, I think it's going in that direction.
He's going to be bummed - but we've only gone out on two dates and been talking for 3weeks. I do feel kind of bad that his birthday is next weekend, though. If I decide after tonight that I'm not that into him, do I need to wait until after his birthday to have "the talk?" And, I can do it over the phone, right??
Advice please!!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Update-1.21.08
I'm in London right now and am having laptop/Internet issues, so I thought I'd write the postings now, and put them online upon my return to the States. I don't have a ton of new updates to report, but I have heard from Casey more than once. Yes, more than once - and I arrived here Friday morning and it's now Monday.
There was a message from him when I landed at Gatwick and turned on my BlackBerry. It was nice and thoughtful and made me smile, but I was a bit uneasy that he had already written to me. I feel like a terrible person even having that feeling, and it makes me feel even worse to actually admit it! But I'm just being honest.
I ran around London all weekend with my good friend (great times!) and planned to write him back on Sunday evening after I'd checked into my hotel. But by the time I finally got here, after a ridiculous adventure on the Tube and in a taxi (and some serious debauchery the night before), I was so exhausted that I just crawled into bed.
I woke up this morning, all set to email Casey back, so I logged into my BlackBerry and downloaded my messages. And there it was - the SECOND message from him. Like the other one, this message was also funny and sweet - but really? Another email?
I feel like a colossal b*tch for thinking that, but I can't help it. In my previous relationship, I spent two years wanting my ex to show an interest in what I did when we weren't together and to be supportive of my work and personal interests. I never got what I wanted (hence, the end of the relationship). Fast forward to today, and here I have a guy giving me exactly what I needed for so long and I'm put off and freaked out by it. But I think I'm put off by it because it's SO much SO quickly. On Wednesday, we'll have known each other for TWO WEEKS. I have a feeling the "We need to take things slowly" talk is just around the corner. I just don't want to scare him off entirely.
Back to Casey and the emails...I typed a pretty lengthy reply back to him (or at least it felt lengthy because I was typing it on my BlackBerry). I told him about the fun I had here over the weekend and all the sites I saw. I haven't heard back yet - but I find that I keep checking my Inbox for his reply. I guess that's a good sign and it means I'm interested on some level - I just need to not feel pressured.
There was a message from him when I landed at Gatwick and turned on my BlackBerry. It was nice and thoughtful and made me smile, but I was a bit uneasy that he had already written to me. I feel like a terrible person even having that feeling, and it makes me feel even worse to actually admit it! But I'm just being honest.
I ran around London all weekend with my good friend (great times!) and planned to write him back on Sunday evening after I'd checked into my hotel. But by the time I finally got here, after a ridiculous adventure on the Tube and in a taxi (and some serious debauchery the night before), I was so exhausted that I just crawled into bed.
I woke up this morning, all set to email Casey back, so I logged into my BlackBerry and downloaded my messages. And there it was - the SECOND message from him. Like the other one, this message was also funny and sweet - but really? Another email?
I feel like a colossal b*tch for thinking that, but I can't help it. In my previous relationship, I spent two years wanting my ex to show an interest in what I did when we weren't together and to be supportive of my work and personal interests. I never got what I wanted (hence, the end of the relationship). Fast forward to today, and here I have a guy giving me exactly what I needed for so long and I'm put off and freaked out by it. But I think I'm put off by it because it's SO much SO quickly. On Wednesday, we'll have known each other for TWO WEEKS. I have a feeling the "We need to take things slowly" talk is just around the corner. I just don't want to scare him off entirely.
Back to Casey and the emails...I typed a pretty lengthy reply back to him (or at least it felt lengthy because I was typing it on my BlackBerry). I told him about the fun I had here over the weekend and all the sites I saw. I haven't heard back yet - but I find that I keep checking my Inbox for his reply. I guess that's a good sign and it means I'm interested on some level - I just need to not feel pressured.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Update-1.17.08
I leave for London tonight!! I'm so excited! This will likely be the last post for the next week.
Last night, after I finished packing and getting organized for my trip, I called Casey. I'm not sure why, but talking to him didn't leave me with my usual "warm & fuzzy" feeling. It could have just been the fact that his cell phone reception was so crappy and I kept having to say "What?" "Can you repeat that?" and "Pardon?" It got old quickly. I can't wait for him to switch providers later this month.
The call with Casey wasn't a bad conversation or anything; I had a nice time talking with him and we spoke for about 30 minutes. There is one thing that is just so strange, though. He will randomly switch topics mid-discussion. For example, Casey and I were talking about his job or something relating to him and all of a sudden he asked “So what time do you fly out tomorrow?” No transition, just completely out of the blue. I recognize that this could have been him making the effort to shift the conversation back to me, or he could have been nervous. But it happened multiple times when he was talking. He would be saying something about his colleagues, and then nearly mid-sentence, switch to talking about plans for the weekend.
On a more positive note, Casey scored bonus points and impressed me yesterday. He sent me an email in the evening before I had a chance to call him. He was really casual and said that he hoped I had a great day and that if we didn't speak before I left for London, that he hoped I had a fun time. I needed that (cool, no-pressure message). It made me feel a bit less like we're in full-speed-ahead mode.
This morning while I was loading my luggage in the car, I heard from Ryan the Text King … via text of course. His message was brief, just telling me to have a great trip. I thought that was really nice and it was definitely a pleasant surprise! Especially because when we parted ways on Sunday night he told me to let him know when I got back from London. I thought for sure the next interaction between us would be initiated by me. I've yet to respond back to him, for some reason I'm being silly and over-thinking my reply. The logical side of me realizes that it's JUST a text message, but I don't know, I want it to be good. I know I want to see Ryan again.
Last night, after I finished packing and getting organized for my trip, I called Casey. I'm not sure why, but talking to him didn't leave me with my usual "warm & fuzzy" feeling. It could have just been the fact that his cell phone reception was so crappy and I kept having to say "What?" "Can you repeat that?" and "Pardon?" It got old quickly. I can't wait for him to switch providers later this month.
The call with Casey wasn't a bad conversation or anything; I had a nice time talking with him and we spoke for about 30 minutes. There is one thing that is just so strange, though. He will randomly switch topics mid-discussion. For example, Casey and I were talking about his job or something relating to him and all of a sudden he asked “So what time do you fly out tomorrow?” No transition, just completely out of the blue. I recognize that this could have been him making the effort to shift the conversation back to me, or he could have been nervous. But it happened multiple times when he was talking. He would be saying something about his colleagues, and then nearly mid-sentence, switch to talking about plans for the weekend.
On a more positive note, Casey scored bonus points and impressed me yesterday. He sent me an email in the evening before I had a chance to call him. He was really casual and said that he hoped I had a great day and that if we didn't speak before I left for London, that he hoped I had a fun time. I needed that (cool, no-pressure message). It made me feel a bit less like we're in full-speed-ahead mode.
This morning while I was loading my luggage in the car, I heard from Ryan the Text King … via text of course. His message was brief, just telling me to have a great trip. I thought that was really nice and it was definitely a pleasant surprise! Especially because when we parted ways on Sunday night he told me to let him know when I got back from London. I thought for sure the next interaction between us would be initiated by me. I've yet to respond back to him, for some reason I'm being silly and over-thinking my reply. The logical side of me realizes that it's JUST a text message, but I don't know, I want it to be good. I know I want to see Ryan again.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Update-1.16.08
Casey, Casey, Casey... that boy!
If he would only dial his eagerness back just a few notches, I'd be much more comfortable and on-board with everything.
When we spoke on Monday night, he expressed interest in seeing me before I left for London. In an effort to avoid another request for a make-out session and ease the "pressure" I'm starting to feel with this whole thing, (and to allow myself time to workout and just relax before the chaos of international travel) I fibbed a bit. I told him I had to have dinner with my boss last night to discuss the strategy for my upcoming business trip to London and that tonight (Wednesday; I leave tomorrow) I'd be busy running errands, doing laundry and packing. His disappointment was obvious, but I told him how I hoped we'd email while I was away. He seemed content with that. I sincerely meant it - I do hope we can stay in touch while I'm gone.
Last night I was running around my house like a crazy woman doing laundry, sewing a button on my suit pants, and laying out my clothes when he called. I missed the call itself, but I was a little shocked that he called - especially at 8:15 (when I would most likely be at dinner). His message was nice, he was just calling to update me on something we had joked about on Monday night. But Jeez! I haven't even known this guy for a whole week and he's acting like we need to talk every day (which, if we were dating exclusively, I'd agree with). I didn't call him back last night (I actually WAS busy, and when I finished with my to-dos, I relaxed and read for a bit). Normally, I'd send an email today saying that I was sorry to have missed him, etc. but I'm going to wait 'til tonight to just call him back.
One friend thinks he's just eager and excited to have met someone "down to earth, grounded and sincere" (his words). Another friend says this clinginess is a yellow flag and I should proceed with caution.
What do you think?
If he would only dial his eagerness back just a few notches, I'd be much more comfortable and on-board with everything.
When we spoke on Monday night, he expressed interest in seeing me before I left for London. In an effort to avoid another request for a make-out session and ease the "pressure" I'm starting to feel with this whole thing, (and to allow myself time to workout and just relax before the chaos of international travel) I fibbed a bit. I told him I had to have dinner with my boss last night to discuss the strategy for my upcoming business trip to London and that tonight (Wednesday; I leave tomorrow) I'd be busy running errands, doing laundry and packing. His disappointment was obvious, but I told him how I hoped we'd email while I was away. He seemed content with that. I sincerely meant it - I do hope we can stay in touch while I'm gone.
Last night I was running around my house like a crazy woman doing laundry, sewing a button on my suit pants, and laying out my clothes when he called. I missed the call itself, but I was a little shocked that he called - especially at 8:15 (when I would most likely be at dinner). His message was nice, he was just calling to update me on something we had joked about on Monday night. But Jeez! I haven't even known this guy for a whole week and he's acting like we need to talk every day (which, if we were dating exclusively, I'd agree with). I didn't call him back last night (I actually WAS busy, and when I finished with my to-dos, I relaxed and read for a bit). Normally, I'd send an email today saying that I was sorry to have missed him, etc. but I'm going to wait 'til tonight to just call him back.
One friend thinks he's just eager and excited to have met someone "down to earth, grounded and sincere" (his words). Another friend says this clinginess is a yellow flag and I should proceed with caution.
What do you think?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Date 7: A Vanilla Date with a Side of Delicious Pumpkin Ice Cream
I had my date with Jack, the shy engineer last night. I arrived at the restaurant about 10 minutes early and was chatting with a friend when he came through the door, right on time. I immediately ended the phone conversation, and Jack and I shook hands.
He's a nice looking guy, but not hot. Definitely not someone you'd look at twice on the street. He has a nice smile and nice teeth. But, speaking of his mouth, right away, I noticed he was SOUTHERN. I don't mean Southern in the way Casey is Southern (an accent). I mean SOUTHERN in borderline redneck Southern. I had trouble understanding what he was saying sometimes because his accent was SO thick.
We were seated at our table and it was very evident that he was really nervous. I had flashhbacks to sorority rush in college - I felt like I was carrying the conversation. I asked him questions and when we had the awkward lulls, I was the one to save us by coming up with some sort of question or comment to keep things rolling.
He's an interesting guy - is finishing his basement, loves riding his Harley, is passionate about his job, has run a marathon in Japan. But the whole time, I never felt a spark. In fact, throughout the entire meal, our waiter was cracking me up! He was likely more into Jack than me (if you know what I mean), but I found myself having a better time chatting and bs'ing with the waiter than with my date - definitely not a good sign.
For the meal, Jack and shared an appetizer and each ordered a beer. I was a bit put off because he ordered the exact same entree that I did, and then ordered the exact same dessert. They had pumpkin ice cream - I was dying to try it and it was amazing!! He then suggested we share the dessert, which I agreed to because it was a much better idea. I just thought all the "I'll have the same thing" ordering was a bit odd. That, coupled with his shyness (which came off as a lack of confidence) was kind of a turn-off.
Being a true Southern gentleman, he paid for dinner (which could NOT have been cheap) and would't hear of me helping out with the tab. I felt a bit bad about that, knowing I wasn't digging him and feeling confident that a second date was very unlikely.
We walked outside and I waited for the valet to bring my car - all the while I was trying to keep the conversation afloat and ensure that the goodbye wasn't too awkward. When my car arrived, we hugged and I thanked him for a nice time. I was careful not to say anything about seeing him again.
When I got home, there was an email from him:
Hey Nay, I just wanted to let you know I had a good time tonight it was great to see you in person. Have a great week and let me know if you would like to get together again sometime.
Ugh. Of course he wants to get together again! He probably felt like the most interesting and fascintating person in the restaurant because he and his life and interests were the center of the entire evening's conversation. I haven't replied, and am not sure how to tactfully say thanks, but no thanks. Suggestions, anyone?
On a Casey-related note, he called me during the day yesterday and left a voicemail that he hoped I was having a great day and if I had time, to feel free to call him, as he was out to lunch doing errands. I didn't have the chance to call him back, so I emailed him that I'd call him when I got home from "a dinner" that night (I told him I had a friend's birthday dinner - a safe and minor fib) and he replied that night when he got home (as I was waiting to meet Jack). He's just funny - and it's so refreshing. I called him when I got home and we talked for over an hour. Time just seems to fly when we're on the phone.
A funny side note - Casey has TERRIBLE cell service in his apartment, so he got in his car and drove around so we could keep talking. I thought that was pretty entertaining and kind of sweet. He wanted to see me this week before I leave, and I nicely let him know that I had a lot going on, but that I hoped we would email while I was oveseas. As long as he can slow down with some of the physical stuff, I definitely see myself letting my guard down with him, bit by bit. It's kind of exciting!!
He's a nice looking guy, but not hot. Definitely not someone you'd look at twice on the street. He has a nice smile and nice teeth. But, speaking of his mouth, right away, I noticed he was SOUTHERN. I don't mean Southern in the way Casey is Southern (an accent). I mean SOUTHERN in borderline redneck Southern. I had trouble understanding what he was saying sometimes because his accent was SO thick.
We were seated at our table and it was very evident that he was really nervous. I had flashhbacks to sorority rush in college - I felt like I was carrying the conversation. I asked him questions and when we had the awkward lulls, I was the one to save us by coming up with some sort of question or comment to keep things rolling.
He's an interesting guy - is finishing his basement, loves riding his Harley, is passionate about his job, has run a marathon in Japan. But the whole time, I never felt a spark. In fact, throughout the entire meal, our waiter was cracking me up! He was likely more into Jack than me (if you know what I mean), but I found myself having a better time chatting and bs'ing with the waiter than with my date - definitely not a good sign.
For the meal, Jack and shared an appetizer and each ordered a beer. I was a bit put off because he ordered the exact same entree that I did, and then ordered the exact same dessert. They had pumpkin ice cream - I was dying to try it and it was amazing!! He then suggested we share the dessert, which I agreed to because it was a much better idea. I just thought all the "I'll have the same thing" ordering was a bit odd. That, coupled with his shyness (which came off as a lack of confidence) was kind of a turn-off.
Being a true Southern gentleman, he paid for dinner (which could NOT have been cheap) and would't hear of me helping out with the tab. I felt a bit bad about that, knowing I wasn't digging him and feeling confident that a second date was very unlikely.
We walked outside and I waited for the valet to bring my car - all the while I was trying to keep the conversation afloat and ensure that the goodbye wasn't too awkward. When my car arrived, we hugged and I thanked him for a nice time. I was careful not to say anything about seeing him again.
When I got home, there was an email from him:
Hey Nay, I just wanted to let you know I had a good time tonight it was great to see you in person. Have a great week and let me know if you would like to get together again sometime.
Ugh. Of course he wants to get together again! He probably felt like the most interesting and fascintating person in the restaurant because he and his life and interests were the center of the entire evening's conversation. I haven't replied, and am not sure how to tactfully say thanks, but no thanks. Suggestions, anyone?
On a Casey-related note, he called me during the day yesterday and left a voicemail that he hoped I was having a great day and if I had time, to feel free to call him, as he was out to lunch doing errands. I didn't have the chance to call him back, so I emailed him that I'd call him when I got home from "a dinner" that night (I told him I had a friend's birthday dinner - a safe and minor fib) and he replied that night when he got home (as I was waiting to meet Jack). He's just funny - and it's so refreshing. I called him when I got home and we talked for over an hour. Time just seems to fly when we're on the phone.
A funny side note - Casey has TERRIBLE cell service in his apartment, so he got in his car and drove around so we could keep talking. I thought that was pretty entertaining and kind of sweet. He wanted to see me this week before I leave, and I nicely let him know that I had a lot going on, but that I hoped we would email while I was oveseas. As long as he can slow down with some of the physical stuff, I definitely see myself letting my guard down with him, bit by bit. It's kind of exciting!!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Date 6: The Text King - Live and In Person
The Text Message King (finally) has a face and a voice again!
Ryan and I met for a casual dinner tonight at 7. As I was walking into the restaurant, he drove in past me so I waited for him in the entry of the restaurant.
The night I met him, nearly a month ago, I was wearing 3" heels and I didn't remember him being particularly tall (just taller than me). Tonight I wore flats and HOLY CRAP is he tall!!! Wooo hooo!
We hugged when he got inside and I wished him Happy New Year. He's cute!! He's got one of those great smiles that make his eyes twinkle.
We sat down and started talking and finally ordered the second time the waiter came by. The conversation flowed pretty easily and there was only one awkward silence.
After dinner, we sat and talked for awhile longer. A couple of times I got the feeling that he was ready to leave, but I wasn't sure, so I just kept talking (which won't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me). When the conversation seemed to slow down again, he asked if I was ready to go, and I said that I was. It was a brief date - only about an hour and 15 minutes.
We walked out to our cars and it got kind of awkward again. He said that I should let him know when I return from London. I reminded him of the date, hoping that he'll take the reigns and be proactive when the time comes. I went in for a hug (a kiss would have been really random, given the tone of the evening) and he kissed me on the cheek - definitely nice and unexpected.
All in all, I'd like to see him again. We'll see what happens in the next two weeks. I wish I had a better idea as to whether he is really interested in seeing me again.
Ryan and I met for a casual dinner tonight at 7. As I was walking into the restaurant, he drove in past me so I waited for him in the entry of the restaurant.
The night I met him, nearly a month ago, I was wearing 3" heels and I didn't remember him being particularly tall (just taller than me). Tonight I wore flats and HOLY CRAP is he tall!!! Wooo hooo!
We hugged when he got inside and I wished him Happy New Year. He's cute!! He's got one of those great smiles that make his eyes twinkle.
We sat down and started talking and finally ordered the second time the waiter came by. The conversation flowed pretty easily and there was only one awkward silence.
After dinner, we sat and talked for awhile longer. A couple of times I got the feeling that he was ready to leave, but I wasn't sure, so I just kept talking (which won't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me). When the conversation seemed to slow down again, he asked if I was ready to go, and I said that I was. It was a brief date - only about an hour and 15 minutes.
We walked out to our cars and it got kind of awkward again. He said that I should let him know when I return from London. I reminded him of the date, hoping that he'll take the reigns and be proactive when the time comes. I went in for a hug (a kiss would have been really random, given the tone of the evening) and he kissed me on the cheek - definitely nice and unexpected.
All in all, I'd like to see him again. We'll see what happens in the next two weeks. I wish I had a better idea as to whether he is really interested in seeing me again.
Update – 1.13.2008
Warning: long entry ahead…
I went out with two of my girlfriends last night and the plan, in addition to hanging out with them, was to finally meet up with Ryan the Text King. He had texted me earlier in the day regarding whether my plan for the evening was still to be at this well-known Irish pub. I wrote back that we’d be there around 10:30, and he responded that he was going out with some friends, but hopefully he’d get to meet up with me.
After two drinks at the Irish pub, I hadn’t seen or heard anything from Ryan, so we went to a different bar (where a guy that one of my friends is interested in was headed). On the way there, I texted Ryan to let him know where we were headed. This bar is in a basement and there is absolutely no cell service; when I was able to get a signal, my phone was roaming. I realized this after about 15 minutes, so I stepped outside to see if Ryan had sent me a message. Nada.
About 15 minutes later, I was back downstairs in the bar when my phone started vibrating. I pulled it out of my purse and saw the following message on the screen: Unable to deliver new message. Not enough memory.
WHAT??!! How could that be? I’d deleted 100 text messages earlier in the week. I rushed to delete anything and everything in my phone, hoping that would make the elusive message appear. After standing there for 5 minutes, staring at my phone and willing the message to come through, I gave up. Nothing was happening. So I went back to my friends and turned my attention back to having a great evening.
Another 15 minutes (or so) later my purse started vibrating again. Woo hoo! This was it! I handed my beer off to my friend and dug through my purse. I was fully expecting to see a text from Ryan telling me he was on his way, or asking me where I was in the bar… but no. When I flipped my phone open I was greeted with the same damn error message. It was like the cell phone memory gods were mocking me and a meeting with Ryan as likely as me finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground.
I deleted a few more messages and realized that this meeting with Ryan wasn’t in the cards. I figured I would just text him later that night or first thing Sunday morning and let him know that I didn’t have a signal and couldn’t get messages. Not a big thing. I went back to my friends and had a great time for the rest of the evening.
As I was driving home, every time I was stopped at a red light I’d delete more stuff from my phone: received texts, sent texts, draft texts, sent photos, received photos. If it wasn’t memorable or special, it was outta there. All of a sudden, the message came through!! Actually, there were two – one from my sister and another from Ryan. I waited to read it until another red light and was pleased to see a note that he was frustrated and still in a different part of town with his friends and that he was hoping to get to where I was.
When I got home, I responded to Ryan’s message, telling him I was sorry that we didn’t meet up, but that I hoped he had a great night. And I suggested that maybe we could get together soon.
When I woke up today, I was greeted with a blinking red light on my phone. Even being blind as a bat without my contacts in, I couldn’t mistake that pulsing red light. I excitedly opened my phone to find a message from Ryan – He was also sorry that we didn’t meet up, but was I interested in hanging out today?
Hell yeah I was interested!! But I played it off much cooler than that and replied that getting together would be fun and that he should call me to set up plans. I’m over this texting business!!
He called a bit later and we’re meeting for dinner tonight at 7. Restaurant TBD, but we both live in the same part of town, so I’m sure it will be close by.
More on that tomorrow!
On an unrelated note, I was surprised this morning to learn that the husband of one of my good friends has been a loyal, but stealth, reader of my adventures. He posted a comment in response to my last post about Casey – expressing displeasure with me and asking me to call him. I called him and also had his wife on the phone. During the conversation, he told me that I was playing games with Casey and my behavior was manipulative and rude. He said I’m punishing this guy for putting his heart out there and showing interest.
This conversation was beyond enlightening. Me and my friend/his wife were on one page, and he was on a totally different page – hell, maybe even a different chapter – in relation to dating.
He raised some good points – the eager/awkward immediate kiss on date two could have just been him making it very clear to me that he doesn’t want to just be my friend, and the rushed awkwardness was because he was nervous (That sounded much more believable when he said it. Typing it now, it doesn’t seem so believable. My dear friend – and loyal commenter “J” made an excellent point that there are other ways for him to express his interest than “jumping [my] bones.” The debate will go on…)
In any case, it was good to get a guy’s perspective. He definitely raised some points that I hadn’t considered, and was positively aghast at the (excessive) amount of analysis that my girlfriends and me have put into this, and all of my (and their), dating situations.
So… ACPee, please keep posting. While I know you can't speak for all men, it’s good to hear a guy’s perspective. And thanks for the tip on telling the Text King to call me. Hopefully we've graduated to the next level of communication for good!
I went out with two of my girlfriends last night and the plan, in addition to hanging out with them, was to finally meet up with Ryan the Text King. He had texted me earlier in the day regarding whether my plan for the evening was still to be at this well-known Irish pub. I wrote back that we’d be there around 10:30, and he responded that he was going out with some friends, but hopefully he’d get to meet up with me.
After two drinks at the Irish pub, I hadn’t seen or heard anything from Ryan, so we went to a different bar (where a guy that one of my friends is interested in was headed). On the way there, I texted Ryan to let him know where we were headed. This bar is in a basement and there is absolutely no cell service; when I was able to get a signal, my phone was roaming. I realized this after about 15 minutes, so I stepped outside to see if Ryan had sent me a message. Nada.
About 15 minutes later, I was back downstairs in the bar when my phone started vibrating. I pulled it out of my purse and saw the following message on the screen: Unable to deliver new message. Not enough memory.
WHAT??!! How could that be? I’d deleted 100 text messages earlier in the week. I rushed to delete anything and everything in my phone, hoping that would make the elusive message appear. After standing there for 5 minutes, staring at my phone and willing the message to come through, I gave up. Nothing was happening. So I went back to my friends and turned my attention back to having a great evening.
Another 15 minutes (or so) later my purse started vibrating again. Woo hoo! This was it! I handed my beer off to my friend and dug through my purse. I was fully expecting to see a text from Ryan telling me he was on his way, or asking me where I was in the bar… but no. When I flipped my phone open I was greeted with the same damn error message. It was like the cell phone memory gods were mocking me and a meeting with Ryan as likely as me finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground.
I deleted a few more messages and realized that this meeting with Ryan wasn’t in the cards. I figured I would just text him later that night or first thing Sunday morning and let him know that I didn’t have a signal and couldn’t get messages. Not a big thing. I went back to my friends and had a great time for the rest of the evening.
As I was driving home, every time I was stopped at a red light I’d delete more stuff from my phone: received texts, sent texts, draft texts, sent photos, received photos. If it wasn’t memorable or special, it was outta there. All of a sudden, the message came through!! Actually, there were two – one from my sister and another from Ryan. I waited to read it until another red light and was pleased to see a note that he was frustrated and still in a different part of town with his friends and that he was hoping to get to where I was.
When I got home, I responded to Ryan’s message, telling him I was sorry that we didn’t meet up, but that I hoped he had a great night. And I suggested that maybe we could get together soon.
When I woke up today, I was greeted with a blinking red light on my phone. Even being blind as a bat without my contacts in, I couldn’t mistake that pulsing red light. I excitedly opened my phone to find a message from Ryan – He was also sorry that we didn’t meet up, but was I interested in hanging out today?
Hell yeah I was interested!! But I played it off much cooler than that and replied that getting together would be fun and that he should call me to set up plans. I’m over this texting business!!
He called a bit later and we’re meeting for dinner tonight at 7. Restaurant TBD, but we both live in the same part of town, so I’m sure it will be close by.
More on that tomorrow!
On an unrelated note, I was surprised this morning to learn that the husband of one of my good friends has been a loyal, but stealth, reader of my adventures. He posted a comment in response to my last post about Casey – expressing displeasure with me and asking me to call him. I called him and also had his wife on the phone. During the conversation, he told me that I was playing games with Casey and my behavior was manipulative and rude. He said I’m punishing this guy for putting his heart out there and showing interest.
This conversation was beyond enlightening. Me and my friend/his wife were on one page, and he was on a totally different page – hell, maybe even a different chapter – in relation to dating.
He raised some good points – the eager/awkward immediate kiss on date two could have just been him making it very clear to me that he doesn’t want to just be my friend, and the rushed awkwardness was because he was nervous (That sounded much more believable when he said it. Typing it now, it doesn’t seem so believable. My dear friend – and loyal commenter “J” made an excellent point that there are other ways for him to express his interest than “jumping [my] bones.” The debate will go on…)
In any case, it was good to get a guy’s perspective. He definitely raised some points that I hadn’t considered, and was positively aghast at the (excessive) amount of analysis that my girlfriends and me have put into this, and all of my (and their), dating situations.
So… ACPee, please keep posting. While I know you can't speak for all men, it’s good to hear a guy’s perspective. And thanks for the tip on telling the Text King to call me. Hopefully we've graduated to the next level of communication for good!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Date 5: Another Step in the Right Direction?
During the middle of work yesterday, Casey called in response to my email. I was having a crappy, stressful day so it was nice to hear from him. We only spoke for a few minutes, but he suggested getting together and doing something low key that night, like grabbing dinner or watching a movie. I opted for the former, but told him I planned to go to the gym first and I'd call him when I got home.
He picked me up at 8:30 and I met him downstairs. He caught me off guard by going STRAIGHT in for the kiss at the greeting. It was a nice kiss, but was more than I was expecting. I made a nervous joke about how I hoped he didn't mind wearing lip gloss. In hindsight, that was SO nerdy of me - but I was nervous and it just came out.
He looked great and smelled good and I was pleased when he opened the car door for me - love that!! We decided on sushi, so we went to my favorite Thai/Japanese restaurant near my condo.
Dinner was nice, despite the fact that I was exhausted and not feeling my most social. He kept the conversation rolling with hilarious stories of the "trouble" he and his friends got into back in high school. It was nice to just be able to sit back and enjoy entertaining stories.
After we were done eating, he excused himself to the restroom and I paid the bill. At the time, I just did it. But thinking back, I think I did it because I didn't want there to be any "expectations" about what would happen next if he paid for dinner. During dinner, he had asked if I wanted to hang out a bit more at my house after dinner. I shot him down, citing my exhaustion and the fact that I had to be up early on Saturday morning.
After the check was paid, we walked out to the car, and he took my hand as we were walking. After he unlocked my car door, he leaned in and kissed me. We stood there in the parking lot for a few minutes. It was nice and MUCH less awkward than the out-of-the-blue smooch when the evening began.
He held my hand as he drove me home - which was impressive (he has a 5-speed: steering, shifting, signaling all with his left hand). When we got back to my place, he walked me to the door and asked if he could come up. Again, I shot him down - poor guy. But honestly, I'm not ready for it to go any further and I'm not going to feel pressured to move ahead just to make him happy.
We stood outside the back door of my building and kissed for a few minutes It was really nice,and he was very complimentary of me and the evening. Except for a few fleeting thoughts of wondering if any of my neighbors could see us, I found myself really enjoying it.
He finally pulled away and said something about us getting together this week (which likely won't happen because I have so much going on) and the night ended.
I find that I enjoy spending time with him, but his "eagerness" kind of freaks me out. This happened to me in my last relationship-the guy was so over-eager and it freaked me out and caused me to push him away. After a "we need to slow down" talk, things progressed, but in a way that was much less stressful for me. I feel that one of those talks may be on the horizon for me and Casey.
Tonight I'll meet up with Ryan and we'll see what the deal is with him. I'm looking forward to it!
He picked me up at 8:30 and I met him downstairs. He caught me off guard by going STRAIGHT in for the kiss at the greeting. It was a nice kiss, but was more than I was expecting. I made a nervous joke about how I hoped he didn't mind wearing lip gloss. In hindsight, that was SO nerdy of me - but I was nervous and it just came out.
He looked great and smelled good and I was pleased when he opened the car door for me - love that!! We decided on sushi, so we went to my favorite Thai/Japanese restaurant near my condo.
Dinner was nice, despite the fact that I was exhausted and not feeling my most social. He kept the conversation rolling with hilarious stories of the "trouble" he and his friends got into back in high school. It was nice to just be able to sit back and enjoy entertaining stories.
After we were done eating, he excused himself to the restroom and I paid the bill. At the time, I just did it. But thinking back, I think I did it because I didn't want there to be any "expectations" about what would happen next if he paid for dinner. During dinner, he had asked if I wanted to hang out a bit more at my house after dinner. I shot him down, citing my exhaustion and the fact that I had to be up early on Saturday morning.
After the check was paid, we walked out to the car, and he took my hand as we were walking. After he unlocked my car door, he leaned in and kissed me. We stood there in the parking lot for a few minutes. It was nice and MUCH less awkward than the out-of-the-blue smooch when the evening began.
He held my hand as he drove me home - which was impressive (he has a 5-speed: steering, shifting, signaling all with his left hand). When we got back to my place, he walked me to the door and asked if he could come up. Again, I shot him down - poor guy. But honestly, I'm not ready for it to go any further and I'm not going to feel pressured to move ahead just to make him happy.
We stood outside the back door of my building and kissed for a few minutes It was really nice,and he was very complimentary of me and the evening. Except for a few fleeting thoughts of wondering if any of my neighbors could see us, I found myself really enjoying it.
He finally pulled away and said something about us getting together this week (which likely won't happen because I have so much going on) and the night ended.
I find that I enjoy spending time with him, but his "eagerness" kind of freaks me out. This happened to me in my last relationship-the guy was so over-eager and it freaked me out and caused me to push him away. After a "we need to slow down" talk, things progressed, but in a way that was much less stressful for me. I feel that one of those talks may be on the horizon for me and Casey.
Tonight I'll meet up with Ryan and we'll see what the deal is with him. I'm looking forward to it!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Update-1.11.08
Casey called last night! I was hanging out with my girlfriends when the call came in, so I let it go to voicemail. He left a REALLY nice message about how he had “an amazing time” with me on Wednesday night. I was really impressed – not only that he called, but that he used such a stellar adjective to describe our date! I didn’t have the opportunity to return the call last night, so I emailed him this morning and will follow-up with a call tonight. I’m not sure if he checks his personal email account during the day.
I emailed Jack back to confirm the time and location for our date on Monday night, so that’s finalized.
A slew of new matches have been coming in on the site, but none of them are viable prospects. I’ve closed nearly all of them. I’ve also had a couple of guys do the friendly “nudge” for a response from me, but I’ve been busy! I guess I’m not too interested if I’m not making responding to them a priority – I’m tempted to close them as well. The next several weeks are going to be crazy for me with work insanity and preparing for my trip to London.
So much to look forward to!
I emailed Jack back to confirm the time and location for our date on Monday night, so that’s finalized.
A slew of new matches have been coming in on the site, but none of them are viable prospects. I’ve closed nearly all of them. I’ve also had a couple of guys do the friendly “nudge” for a response from me, but I’ve been busy! I guess I’m not too interested if I’m not making responding to them a priority – I’m tempted to close them as well. The next several weeks are going to be crazy for me with work insanity and preparing for my trip to London.
So much to look forward to!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Nay? I'm confused. Which guy is that??
I have a problem. But it's a good problem.
You (my dearest friends who are cheering me along on this adventure) are having trouble remembering who's who. I've never been in a situation where my friends can't keep track of all "my" men!
With that in mind, I've created a man dictionary at the bottom of the start page. Scroll down to read a brief snapshot of the guys, and how I met them. I hope this helps!!
You (my dearest friends who are cheering me along on this adventure) are having trouble remembering who's who. I've never been in a situation where my friends can't keep track of all "my" men!
With that in mind, I've created a man dictionary at the bottom of the start page. Scroll down to read a brief snapshot of the guys, and how I met them. I hope this helps!!
Date 4: A Step in the Right Direction!!
So I arrived at the restaurant exactly on time and was shocked to see how packed it was. I was a bit concerned – how was I going to recognize him? How would I even know he was there? And would it be best to call him if I couldn't find him easily? Or would he call me? As I was stressing over the answers to these questions (stressing for all of .2 seconds), I made eye contact with him. There he was – sitting at a table right near the door. Casey is MUCH cuter in person than in his photos (What is with these guys on the site not posting their best photos??? Is that only a girl thing?). Anyway, I walked over and we hugged and sat down (he was already sipping a beer) and we immediately started talking. I can’t even remember everything we talked about, but there was never a single lull in conversation the whole night.
Again, he was very complimentary of my smile and how genuine I came across in my profile (and seemed to be in person). He also talked about how much he really enjoyed our first conversation. I said the same, that I’d enjoyed it too and that the second time we spoke I was actually in a pretty foul mood when he called, but noticed I was much happier when we hung up the phone. We talked about going out on a second date and places we’d go. At one point, he reached across the table and took my hand ever so briefly, just to make a point. It caught me off guard, but also was really nice and kind of electrifying.
At 10:45, nearly 4 hours after we’d met there, we were both exhausted and ready to call it a night. He wouldn't let me pay the bill – but said I could buy him a drink the next time we go out. We got out to the parking lot, and he was parked directly adjacent to the restaurant/bar. I ended up parking in one of the overflow lots, so he said he would walk me to my car. As we were walking, he took my hand. When we got to my car, I hugged him, and then it just somehow led to a kiss. I don’t remember who kissed whom, but I do know it was Casey who took the kiss to the next level of kissing. So we kissed in the parking lot for a minute or so. I pulled away and for some reason, I couldn't really look at him! I think I was just caught off guard by the entire thing.
So after saying good night (I hope I remembered to thank him!) I got in my car and he was already walking away. When I pulled out of the parking lot and into the street, I saw him look back – which I thought was kind of nice.
He’s heading home this weekend to check on a few things there (he has people renting out his town home) and visit his family – so I won’t see him this weekend and probably not next week before I go to London. So I’m not sure what happens next.
It was funny – at one point in the evening, I think he confused me with another woman he’s met on the Site. We were talking about nationalities and he was like – “I know you told me that you’re Irish and German! But I can’t remember what else!!” Ironically, I AM both of those, but I know for a fact that we never had that discussion. So I played it off and didn't call him out on it and he was none the wiser.
So, it’s the morning after the date and I’m feeling OK about it – just OK. I know I had a great time, he’s cute and nice and funny (really funny, in fact). But something’s holding me back – and I’m not sure if it’s me being guarded and not wanting to let someone “in” and risk getting hurt, or if I have reservations about him and our compatibility. The rational side of me knows I need to just CHILL OUT and go with it and see what happens. I guess I can also feel good about knowing I got the "first kiss" of my new singledom out of the way!
Again, he was very complimentary of my smile and how genuine I came across in my profile (and seemed to be in person). He also talked about how much he really enjoyed our first conversation. I said the same, that I’d enjoyed it too and that the second time we spoke I was actually in a pretty foul mood when he called, but noticed I was much happier when we hung up the phone. We talked about going out on a second date and places we’d go. At one point, he reached across the table and took my hand ever so briefly, just to make a point. It caught me off guard, but also was really nice and kind of electrifying.
At 10:45, nearly 4 hours after we’d met there, we were both exhausted and ready to call it a night. He wouldn't let me pay the bill – but said I could buy him a drink the next time we go out. We got out to the parking lot, and he was parked directly adjacent to the restaurant/bar. I ended up parking in one of the overflow lots, so he said he would walk me to my car. As we were walking, he took my hand. When we got to my car, I hugged him, and then it just somehow led to a kiss. I don’t remember who kissed whom, but I do know it was Casey who took the kiss to the next level of kissing. So we kissed in the parking lot for a minute or so. I pulled away and for some reason, I couldn't really look at him! I think I was just caught off guard by the entire thing.
So after saying good night (I hope I remembered to thank him!) I got in my car and he was already walking away. When I pulled out of the parking lot and into the street, I saw him look back – which I thought was kind of nice.
He’s heading home this weekend to check on a few things there (he has people renting out his town home) and visit his family – so I won’t see him this weekend and probably not next week before I go to London. So I’m not sure what happens next.
It was funny – at one point in the evening, I think he confused me with another woman he’s met on the Site. We were talking about nationalities and he was like – “I know you told me that you’re Irish and German! But I can’t remember what else!!” Ironically, I AM both of those, but I know for a fact that we never had that discussion. So I played it off and didn't call him out on it and he was none the wiser.
So, it’s the morning after the date and I’m feeling OK about it – just OK. I know I had a great time, he’s cute and nice and funny (really funny, in fact). But something’s holding me back – and I’m not sure if it’s me being guarded and not wanting to let someone “in” and risk getting hurt, or if I have reservations about him and our compatibility. The rational side of me knows I need to just CHILL OUT and go with it and see what happens. I guess I can also feel good about knowing I got the "first kiss" of my new singledom out of the way!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Update-1.9.08
My date with Casey is tonight, and I’ll write more when I get home (or tomorrow, if it’s late). But here are the updates on the other men:
Ryan(the Text King) and I texted back and forth a few more times last night and I just got the final one from him this morning. We’re going to meet up on Saturday night. That boy needs to stop hiding behind the text message and give me a call.
Brian (the friend of sleazy co-worker) e-mailed me back last night and said we could get together Friday night, or if I’d prefer, when I get back from London. He said that even in a few weeks he will “still be thirsty for beer.” I like his sense of humor already. I have A LOT going on in the next week and I think I’ll take him up on that offer.
Jack (new newest guy) emailed me back last night. We’re meeting at a restaurant/microbrewery on Monday night. I don’t know much about him at all as we’ve only emailed back and forth twice. He seems kinda’ quiet/shy, so that could be an issue. But I’ll go and give him a chance.
T-minus 4.5 hours until my date with Casey!
Ryan(the Text King) and I texted back and forth a few more times last night and I just got the final one from him this morning. We’re going to meet up on Saturday night. That boy needs to stop hiding behind the text message and give me a call.
Brian (the friend of sleazy co-worker) e-mailed me back last night and said we could get together Friday night, or if I’d prefer, when I get back from London. He said that even in a few weeks he will “still be thirsty for beer.” I like his sense of humor already. I have A LOT going on in the next week and I think I’ll take him up on that offer.
Jack (new newest guy) emailed me back last night. We’re meeting at a restaurant/microbrewery on Monday night. I don’t know much about him at all as we’ve only emailed back and forth twice. He seems kinda’ quiet/shy, so that could be an issue. But I’ll go and give him a chance.
T-minus 4.5 hours until my date with Casey!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Update-1.8.08
Are men psychic? It's like they know when a woman has moved on, has put him out of her mind and abandoned any thought of expending additional energy in the situation.
Tonight, as I was preparing dinner and thinking about tomorrow's date with Casey, my phone started vibrating. A new text... from Mr. MIA Ryan (the text message king). Apparently he's back in town and curious what I'm up to this week. Unfortunately for him, I'm very busy - I have my date with Casey tomorrow and I have friends coming over on Thursday night. Friday night will be a quiet night at home (so I can be in tip-top shape for my favorite workout on Saturday morning). Saturday night - maybe if we're both out Ryan and I could meet up... And next week before I go to London for a week I may have a date with Brian or Jack (still need to tell you about him). I'm still interested in getting together with Ryan, but not at the cost of sacrificing anything significant (or time with a guy who has been much more responsive). I mean, he's never actually CALLED me and I haven't heard anything from him since New Year's Day. I'll text him back and suggest we get together after I'm back from London later this month, or that we can maybe meet up this weekend.
I need to call Casey tonight to finalize the plans for our date tomorrow night. I think I'll pick the dive bar/mexican restaurant near my office that he mentioned that he likes. I'm nervous to call him.
As for this Jack character, I'm not so sure about him, but we've been communicating through the site for what seems like awhile and he asked about meeting for a drink in his email on Saturday. He's a 6'1 engineer (same age as me) who lives in one of the suburbs. He's said several things that have led me to conclude that he might be really shy - that could be the drawback. I'd like to date someone a bit more outgoing. But we'll see - I'm keeping an open mind. I emailed him back today and suggested a few days that work for me.
Lastly, no response yet from Brian (the friend of the sleazy coworker). I hope that he writes me back soon; all the dates that I suggested we meet up are more or less filled up! And I want to hit the gym a few times before spending a week eating and drinking (and not working out) in London.
A wise friend of mine (who is now happily coupled up - yay DD!!) told me that in her experience finding a great guy is a numbers game. Reading back through this post, it appears I'm getting on board with that mentality and upping my odds!! It's raining men!!
Tonight, as I was preparing dinner and thinking about tomorrow's date with Casey, my phone started vibrating. A new text... from Mr. MIA Ryan (the text message king). Apparently he's back in town and curious what I'm up to this week. Unfortunately for him, I'm very busy - I have my date with Casey tomorrow and I have friends coming over on Thursday night. Friday night will be a quiet night at home (so I can be in tip-top shape for my favorite workout on Saturday morning). Saturday night - maybe if we're both out Ryan and I could meet up... And next week before I go to London for a week I may have a date with Brian or Jack (still need to tell you about him). I'm still interested in getting together with Ryan, but not at the cost of sacrificing anything significant (or time with a guy who has been much more responsive). I mean, he's never actually CALLED me and I haven't heard anything from him since New Year's Day. I'll text him back and suggest we get together after I'm back from London later this month, or that we can maybe meet up this weekend.
I need to call Casey tonight to finalize the plans for our date tomorrow night. I think I'll pick the dive bar/mexican restaurant near my office that he mentioned that he likes. I'm nervous to call him.
As for this Jack character, I'm not so sure about him, but we've been communicating through the site for what seems like awhile and he asked about meeting for a drink in his email on Saturday. He's a 6'1 engineer (same age as me) who lives in one of the suburbs. He's said several things that have led me to conclude that he might be really shy - that could be the drawback. I'd like to date someone a bit more outgoing. But we'll see - I'm keeping an open mind. I emailed him back today and suggested a few days that work for me.
Lastly, no response yet from Brian (the friend of the sleazy coworker). I hope that he writes me back soon; all the dates that I suggested we meet up are more or less filled up! And I want to hit the gym a few times before spending a week eating and drinking (and not working out) in London.
A wise friend of mine (who is now happily coupled up - yay DD!!) told me that in her experience finding a great guy is a numbers game. Reading back through this post, it appears I'm getting on board with that mentality and upping my odds!! It's raining men!!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Update-1.7.08
EEEEK! I just got off the phone with Casey. We talked for an hour and 45 minutes!! He called me around 7, but I was on the phone with my parents. He called back an hour later and we JUST got off the phone.
We had so much to talk about and he's funny - he cracks these cheesy jokes from time to time and then realizes that he's just been a huge dork and gets kind of embarrassed, but not really. It's quirky, I like it.
He was also super complimentary about my photos on the site (apparently, I have a really great smile), and he also spoke highly of my profile.
Also cute, in a weird, kind of way: he mentioned that he's shown my photo to a few of his friends and they all had nice things to say. He was quick to add that he shot down their requests to read my profile or any of the exchanges we'd had. Nice!
So - WE HAVE A DATE!! Wednesday night. No location yet. We agreed that I'm going to call him tomorrow night to finalize the plans. So much to talk about - I can't wait to meet him in person.
Oh! And for my astrology savvy friends - his birthday is 4 days before mine. He's an Aquarius too. Someone tell me what that means!
We had so much to talk about and he's funny - he cracks these cheesy jokes from time to time and then realizes that he's just been a huge dork and gets kind of embarrassed, but not really. It's quirky, I like it.
He was also super complimentary about my photos on the site (apparently, I have a really great smile), and he also spoke highly of my profile.
Also cute, in a weird, kind of way: he mentioned that he's shown my photo to a few of his friends and they all had nice things to say. He was quick to add that he shot down their requests to read my profile or any of the exchanges we'd had. Nice!
So - WE HAVE A DATE!! Wednesday night. No location yet. We agreed that I'm going to call him tomorrow night to finalize the plans. So much to talk about - I can't wait to meet him in person.
Oh! And for my astrology savvy friends - his birthday is 4 days before mine. He's an Aquarius too. Someone tell me what that means!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Update-1.6.08
Dilemma dilemma!
Would you go out with a guy whose married best friend tried to sleep with someone you know? Is the potential date sketchy and not trustworthy by association??
Here's the abbreviated back story:
On a business trip, during a night on the town with 2 colleagues (a guy and a woman) from one of my company's other offices, the guy told me that his best friend from college, Brian, lives in my city and also happens to be single. I indicated that I was open to being set up and he said that he'd make the introduction. Well, several hours and too many cocktails later, my coworker guy walked us (me and the other woman we work with) to our hotel. The next day I learned that he tried to hook up with her! He's married and has a child!! Of course, being the classy and self-respecting woman that she is, she turned him down and it's never been discussed.
Well, coworker guy introduced me and Brian over email just before Christmas. I replied back and suggested to Brian that we meet for dinner or drinks some night after work. He just replied, apologizing for the delayed response (he'd been out of the country on vacation) and suggested getting together this week.
I'd like to meet him but it seems somewhat pointless since I question whether I could ever trust him because of his best friend's nasty behavior.
So... tell me! Comments please! Am I overreacting and being paranoid? Or should I give cheater's best buddy a chance?
Switching gears to Casey - I emailed him back tonight and gave him my number. We'll see when he calls!!
Would you go out with a guy whose married best friend tried to sleep with someone you know? Is the potential date sketchy and not trustworthy by association??
Here's the abbreviated back story:
On a business trip, during a night on the town with 2 colleagues (a guy and a woman) from one of my company's other offices, the guy told me that his best friend from college, Brian, lives in my city and also happens to be single. I indicated that I was open to being set up and he said that he'd make the introduction. Well, several hours and too many cocktails later, my coworker guy walked us (me and the other woman we work with) to our hotel. The next day I learned that he tried to hook up with her! He's married and has a child!! Of course, being the classy and self-respecting woman that she is, she turned him down and it's never been discussed.
Well, coworker guy introduced me and Brian over email just before Christmas. I replied back and suggested to Brian that we meet for dinner or drinks some night after work. He just replied, apologizing for the delayed response (he'd been out of the country on vacation) and suggested getting together this week.
I'd like to meet him but it seems somewhat pointless since I question whether I could ever trust him because of his best friend's nasty behavior.
So... tell me! Comments please! Am I overreacting and being paranoid? Or should I give cheater's best buddy a chance?
Switching gears to Casey - I emailed him back tonight and gave him my number. We'll see when he calls!!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Update-1.5.08
Woooo Hooooo!!!
Casey not only emailed me back today, his email was so nice!! Ironically, we spent New Year's Eve at the same bar, just different locations. I guess we prefer a similar type of "scene" - definitely a good thing. The whole email was thoughful and well-written (not important to some, but key for me), and his closing almost made me fall off the couch:
As a matter of fact, I would love to call you sometime. I've been wanting to put a voice behind your smile for the longest time :)
Eeeee! I think I may have blushed when I read that - and that's a serious feat. I'll write him back tomorrow and include my phone number. Another date may be on the horizon!!
Is it shallow that I'm bummed that my eyebrow waxer is on vacation 'til the end of the month?? I may have to "cheat" on her and go to someone else in order to make myself presentable for a date with Casey!
Casey not only emailed me back today, his email was so nice!! Ironically, we spent New Year's Eve at the same bar, just different locations. I guess we prefer a similar type of "scene" - definitely a good thing. The whole email was thoughful and well-written (not important to some, but key for me), and his closing almost made me fall off the couch:
As a matter of fact, I would love to call you sometime. I've been wanting to put a voice behind your smile for the longest time :)
Eeeee! I think I may have blushed when I read that - and that's a serious feat. I'll write him back tomorrow and include my phone number. Another date may be on the horizon!!
Is it shallow that I'm bummed that my eyebrow waxer is on vacation 'til the end of the month?? I may have to "cheat" on her and go to someone else in order to make myself presentable for a date with Casey!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Update-1.3.08
I think I'm excited about one of my matches from the site! I know I've been downplaying the prospects and complaining about the lack of viable options. But all along, there's been a guy I've been communicating with - Casey. He's my age, taller than me and cute in a boy-next-door kind of way. He's not the hot, stop-and-stare type, which is quite OK with me. He impressed me before Christmas by emailing me and saying something about how he knew it's a busy time of year and if we didn't talk 'til after the holidays, he hoped I had fun. I was impressed with that, especially since those other 2 guys closed me out for being "unresponsive" a/k/a BUSY. Anyway, back to Casey - he seems really cool, nice and NORMAL. He emailed me last night and I didn't get it until this morning. I just emailed him back and found myself wanting to suggest an in-person meeting. But I held off - maybe I've been suggesting that too soon with the other guys? In any case, hopefully I'll meet Casey in person next week or the following week.
In the interim, I hope to hear (and go out with) Ryan. Still no word from him and I'm not even allowing myself to think about contacting him until at least Saturday.
I need some dates though! Without dates, this is getting boring!!
In the interim, I hope to hear (and go out with) Ryan. Still no word from him and I'm not even allowing myself to think about contacting him until at least Saturday.
I need some dates though! Without dates, this is getting boring!!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Update-1.2.08
Remind me to stop drinking.
On New Year’s Eve, in the midst of a (very) drunken, wild night I sent Ryan a text message!! The fact that I did that was so unsmooth and not part of the larger plan I’d devised earlier in the day: to text him something witty on New Years Day, thereby renewing contact. But no – after significant quantities of tequila, vodka, beer, and champagne (yes, a terrible combination and I paid for it on New Years Day), I thought it was a good idea to send him a message. Thankfully, I had the sense to consult my equally trashed friend to ensure that the content wasn’t too desperate or lame (and actually, miracle of miracles, in the sober light of day, it really wasn’t!).
He wrote a nice message back to me on New Years Day morning. So now what?? He got my number what seems like ages ago. Is he ever going to use it to call and ask me out? My friend/colleague says that the ball is now in my court. She thinks I should suggest getting together for drinks or invite him along to a happy hour with my friends. The honest, deep down truth – he got my number, I want HIM to ask ME out. I’ll give it another couple of days to see if I hear from him.
No promising new matches have been delivered to my Inbox. The site has been advertising like crazy for the New Year – promotional rates and free trials. I hope that brings in some quality prospects!! The pool seems to be drying up!
On New Year’s Eve, in the midst of a (very) drunken, wild night I sent Ryan a text message!! The fact that I did that was so unsmooth and not part of the larger plan I’d devised earlier in the day: to text him something witty on New Years Day, thereby renewing contact. But no – after significant quantities of tequila, vodka, beer, and champagne (yes, a terrible combination and I paid for it on New Years Day), I thought it was a good idea to send him a message. Thankfully, I had the sense to consult my equally trashed friend to ensure that the content wasn’t too desperate or lame (and actually, miracle of miracles, in the sober light of day, it really wasn’t!).
He wrote a nice message back to me on New Years Day morning. So now what?? He got my number what seems like ages ago. Is he ever going to use it to call and ask me out? My friend/colleague says that the ball is now in my court. She thinks I should suggest getting together for drinks or invite him along to a happy hour with my friends. The honest, deep down truth – he got my number, I want HIM to ask ME out. I’ll give it another couple of days to see if I hear from him.
No promising new matches have been delivered to my Inbox. The site has been advertising like crazy for the New Year – promotional rates and free trials. I hope that brings in some quality prospects!! The pool seems to be drying up!
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