A coworker (who is older than me by about 15 years and jokingly calls herself "mom" to me) sent me an email with the subject line: New Prospect. I figured a new customer had come on board and there was an action item for me. I was pleasantly surprised to open the message and read that she wants to set me up with Andy, the son of the guy she is dating. She asked if I'd be up for it... sure! So what if he's geographically undesirable (he lives 3 hours away - not terrible)... what do I have to lose?
She sent me a picture of Andy and he's cute and apparently he's also smart, active, funny and a "good guy." He has a good job, loves his dog and is close with his family. Her only warning where we might not mesh - "he might be too much of a good 'ole southern boy" (her words, not mine). :) So, I gave her my number to pass along to Andy. Why not?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
First Date Update... After thoughts
I've been thinking about last night's date a lot this morning. And I remembered that something really did bother me about Tom. Please tell me if I'm being sensitive/overreacting:
We were talking about the dating site - specifically about closing out matches and laughing about closing out people who live "too far" away. We agreed that it's not the mileage that's the problem, it's the traffic that turns 15 miles into a 60 minute drive to see someone. And we agreed that we closed people out who didn't have pictures. Funny, funny, ha, ha, ha. Then, he told me that he closes out any woman who doesn't post a full length picture. Interesting... please elaborate, Tom. And he did. Apparently, any woman that doesn't post a full length photo of her body could be hiding "a giant, ba-donk-ka-donk ass." Hmmm... Really? Lovely. And he continued to tell me that he's seen it more than once - these women who post head photos and have big asses in person.
Yikes. So really...let's take a step back. I'm no super model. As such, I don't expect the guy I am going to be with to have a perfect physique. However, Tom isn't perfect either and I was a bit taken aback (and somewhat offended) that he'd be so outwardly critical and judgmental, especially on a first date!!
Thoughts?
We were talking about the dating site - specifically about closing out matches and laughing about closing out people who live "too far" away. We agreed that it's not the mileage that's the problem, it's the traffic that turns 15 miles into a 60 minute drive to see someone. And we agreed that we closed people out who didn't have pictures. Funny, funny, ha, ha, ha. Then, he told me that he closes out any woman who doesn't post a full length picture. Interesting... please elaborate, Tom. And he did. Apparently, any woman that doesn't post a full length photo of her body could be hiding "a giant, ba-donk-ka-donk ass." Hmmm... Really? Lovely. And he continued to tell me that he's seen it more than once - these women who post head photos and have big asses in person.
Yikes. So really...let's take a step back. I'm no super model. As such, I don't expect the guy I am going to be with to have a perfect physique. However, Tom isn't perfect either and I was a bit taken aback (and somewhat offended) that he'd be so outwardly critical and judgmental, especially on a first date!!
Thoughts?
Monday, March 22, 2010
First Date Update
One of my good friends told me that when I give my report of tonight's date with Tom, I need to rank it on a scale of 1 to 10. Ten being outstanding; one being horrible. After thoughtful consideration I've realized I need to break up the rankings into categories (are any of you who know me well surprised?!?): compatibility, chemistry/attraction and overall.
Compatibility: 7.5/8 - Tom and I had LOTS to talk about and did a lot of laughing. There was never really a lull or an awkward quiet moment over the course of the entire two hour dinner. I learned a lot of new things about him, but I feel like he didn't really ask me a lot of questions - mostly I think that anything he learned about me, he learned because I'm generally an open book and a chatterbox and I volunteered the information.
Chemistry/Attraction: 5 - Height is gooooood. Even with my 3 inch heels on, Tom is still a half a foot taller than me (!!!!) - that definitely doesn't hurt. :) At this point, I'm not overly drawn to him, but I'm not necessarily un-attracted to him, either. I can't picture making out with him, but then again, I can't really picture myself making out with anyone
Overall ranking: 7 - He's leaving town for work tomorrow, but said he'd give me a call when he gets back... so we'll see!!
Interestingly, as I'm writing this, Tom and I are exchanging text messages. I told him about this website I'd heard about and he didn't believe me that it existed. He mentioned that he was going to go home and check it out - so he texted me to confirm its existence and we've been bantering back and forth about it. Hmmmmmm... ;-)
Compatibility: 7.5/8 - Tom and I had LOTS to talk about and did a lot of laughing. There was never really a lull or an awkward quiet moment over the course of the entire two hour dinner. I learned a lot of new things about him, but I feel like he didn't really ask me a lot of questions - mostly I think that anything he learned about me, he learned because I'm generally an open book and a chatterbox and I volunteered the information.
Chemistry/Attraction: 5 - Height is gooooood. Even with my 3 inch heels on, Tom is still a half a foot taller than me (!!!!) - that definitely doesn't hurt. :) At this point, I'm not overly drawn to him, but I'm not necessarily un-attracted to him, either. I can't picture making out with him, but then again, I can't really picture myself making out with anyone
Overall ranking: 7 - He's leaving town for work tomorrow, but said he'd give me a call when he gets back... so we'll see!!
Interestingly, as I'm writing this, Tom and I are exchanging text messages. I told him about this website I'd heard about and he didn't believe me that it existed. He mentioned that he was going to go home and check it out - so he texted me to confirm its existence and we've been bantering back and forth about it. Hmmmmmm... ;-)
Giddy up!!
Tonight's the night!! Gettin' back on the horse... my first date in nearly a year.
I'm really looking forward to meeting Tom in person and seeing if there's any sort of spark or chemistry. FINGERS CROSSED!! Or, here's to it at least being a pleasant evening... and if it's miserable or he's terrible (which I can't see happening) at least I'll have a good story to share!
My prediction (based on past experiences of people I've met through the site): I think he'll be nice and we'll have a good time together tonight, but there won't be any chemistry. He'll be the kind of guy I could have a beer with on a Sunday afternoon... not the kind of guy I'd want to wake up next to on a Sunday morning. ;-) Either way, this is a good thing... I'm back OUT THERE. And PS - Debbie Downer has left the building and Suzy is back.
The plan is to meet up with Tom at 6:30 at one of my favorite restaurants - that is also really close to his condo. I'll try to give an update tonight or as soon as I can tomorrow.
I'm really looking forward to meeting Tom in person and seeing if there's any sort of spark or chemistry. FINGERS CROSSED!! Or, here's to it at least being a pleasant evening... and if it's miserable or he's terrible (which I can't see happening) at least I'll have a good story to share!
My prediction (based on past experiences of people I've met through the site): I think he'll be nice and we'll have a good time together tonight, but there won't be any chemistry. He'll be the kind of guy I could have a beer with on a Sunday afternoon... not the kind of guy I'd want to wake up next to on a Sunday morning. ;-) Either way, this is a good thing... I'm back OUT THERE. And PS - Debbie Downer has left the building and Suzy is back.
The plan is to meet up with Tom at 6:30 at one of my favorite restaurants - that is also really close to his condo. I'll try to give an update tonight or as soon as I can tomorrow.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Talk about getting creative and adventurous in the search for Za Za Zu!!
Check this out!!
I came across this website today and must applaud this woman for her creativity and cajones!! Seriously - bravo sister!! Example #702 of how hard it is to find love...
http://site.highwaytoahusband.com/Home.html
I came across this website today and must applaud this woman for her creativity and cajones!! Seriously - bravo sister!! Example #702 of how hard it is to find love...
http://site.highwaytoahusband.com/Home.html
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Suzy Sunshine has left the building...
I didn't end up texting Tom last weekend. I was in a pretty foul mood that day and didn't feel much like talking to, or corresponding with, anyone. More on this funk, actually, it's shaping up to be a perma-funk, later... I'll give the Tom update first.
He didn't call on Sunday like I'd expected, and kind of even hoped, he would. I was out of town for business the first half of this week and I was pleasantly surprised when, as I was pulling my phone out to update my Facebook status, his call came in. I answered, we talked for a few minutes. I explained to him that I was out of town for work and having dinner with a friend. He told me I could call him up until about 11:30 pm. When I called him back, the conversation was good - we talked for about 30 minutes. We agreed to meet up on Monday night at one of my favorite restaurants (in fact, the restaurant where I had my birthday party!). I hope it wasn't a faux pas that I asked if our get-together for Monday night was for drinks or for dinner - if the plan was just to be for drinks, I'd eat something before meeting him. But if we were going to eat together, I obviously wouldn't eat anything beforehand. I think my question caught him off-guard because it was slightly awkward for a few seconds. Ooops! Oh well, if that is too much for him, best to find that out up front. He indicated that he'd email me on Monday to confirm the plan. I've decided that he's really the only match I'm remotely excited about.
The other guy I'm openly emailing with I'm actually somewhat annoyed with. His first email to me was the equivalent of a questionnaire: Where are you from? Do you have a dog? Where do you like to go out to eat? Where did you go to college? Where did you grow up? Where do you like to visit? Where do you want to travel to? ... and the questions continued. I kid you not - there were probably 20 open-ended questions. I answered as many as I felt like until it sort of got a little out of hand and it started to feel forced. I turned it back on him because there was absolutely no flow to his email and nothing for me to work with and latch on to. I sent him some questions back and guess what? He replied back with his answers... and even more questions. What the heck?!? Does anyone else find that somewhat awkward and borderline bizarre? There's no banter, no dialogue. Just Q&A. We'll call him Quentin since he's proving to be Quentin the King of Questions. I owe him an email back, but I'm not even remotely excited to reply.
This lack of enthusiasm could be my lack of excitement in my matches, but I think it's all symptomatic of the fact that I'm stuck in a perma-funk. I can't shake it. I feel sad. My soul feels heavy. Am I dead on the inside? Am I ever again going to meet someone who I'm excited about? Who makes me feel giddy and energetic and makes me feel like I've surpassed Cloud 9 and am sittin' pretty on Cloud 14 or even, Cloud 20?
When I feel like this, it's so easy to slip off the path and get stuck wallowing and wondering: What if I'm one of those people who is just never going to find her "person"? What if the life I want for myself (husband, kids) isn't the life I'm supposed to lead? I joke about it with my family and some friends, make light of my situation and the lack of dates and lack of interesting people I meet ... but the laughter is just there to try to make light of the fact that I'm really getting freaked out that it's just going to be me. Forever.
And yes, so one of my best friends pointed out to me that THIS, right now, is the worst it's ever going to get. And it's a great point: If this is the worst, is that so bad? In actuality, no, it's not. I have great friends and a wonderful family. A good job, that I generally enjoy that allows me to pursue my outside interests. My health. So... if this is the worst it's ever going to get, I know I could handle it. It just makes my heart sad and leaves me feeling empty that I might need to realign my expectations for my life and shift what I want to line up more with the reality.
Ugh.I don't want to give up - I used to be Suzy Sunshine, the biggest damn believer in The Fairy Tale. I'm not so delusional to believe that anything is perfect, I just want to find the guy who is perfect for me. Right now, I'm having the hardest time believing that he's actually out there.
I seriously need to shake this funk before my date with Tom on Monday. I need to reclaim Suzy Sunshine so that Debbie Downer doesn't show up for dinner.
He didn't call on Sunday like I'd expected, and kind of even hoped, he would. I was out of town for business the first half of this week and I was pleasantly surprised when, as I was pulling my phone out to update my Facebook status, his call came in. I answered, we talked for a few minutes. I explained to him that I was out of town for work and having dinner with a friend. He told me I could call him up until about 11:30 pm. When I called him back, the conversation was good - we talked for about 30 minutes. We agreed to meet up on Monday night at one of my favorite restaurants (in fact, the restaurant where I had my birthday party!). I hope it wasn't a faux pas that I asked if our get-together for Monday night was for drinks or for dinner - if the plan was just to be for drinks, I'd eat something before meeting him. But if we were going to eat together, I obviously wouldn't eat anything beforehand. I think my question caught him off-guard because it was slightly awkward for a few seconds. Ooops! Oh well, if that is too much for him, best to find that out up front. He indicated that he'd email me on Monday to confirm the plan. I've decided that he's really the only match I'm remotely excited about.
The other guy I'm openly emailing with I'm actually somewhat annoyed with. His first email to me was the equivalent of a questionnaire: Where are you from? Do you have a dog? Where do you like to go out to eat? Where did you go to college? Where did you grow up? Where do you like to visit? Where do you want to travel to? ... and the questions continued. I kid you not - there were probably 20 open-ended questions. I answered as many as I felt like until it sort of got a little out of hand and it started to feel forced. I turned it back on him because there was absolutely no flow to his email and nothing for me to work with and latch on to. I sent him some questions back and guess what? He replied back with his answers... and even more questions. What the heck?!? Does anyone else find that somewhat awkward and borderline bizarre? There's no banter, no dialogue. Just Q&A. We'll call him Quentin since he's proving to be Quentin the King of Questions. I owe him an email back, but I'm not even remotely excited to reply.
This lack of enthusiasm could be my lack of excitement in my matches, but I think it's all symptomatic of the fact that I'm stuck in a perma-funk. I can't shake it. I feel sad. My soul feels heavy. Am I dead on the inside? Am I ever again going to meet someone who I'm excited about? Who makes me feel giddy and energetic and makes me feel like I've surpassed Cloud 9 and am sittin' pretty on Cloud 14 or even, Cloud 20?
When I feel like this, it's so easy to slip off the path and get stuck wallowing and wondering: What if I'm one of those people who is just never going to find her "person"? What if the life I want for myself (husband, kids) isn't the life I'm supposed to lead? I joke about it with my family and some friends, make light of my situation and the lack of dates and lack of interesting people I meet ... but the laughter is just there to try to make light of the fact that I'm really getting freaked out that it's just going to be me. Forever.
And yes, so one of my best friends pointed out to me that THIS, right now, is the worst it's ever going to get. And it's a great point: If this is the worst, is that so bad? In actuality, no, it's not. I have great friends and a wonderful family. A good job, that I generally enjoy that allows me to pursue my outside interests. My health. So... if this is the worst it's ever going to get, I know I could handle it. It just makes my heart sad and leaves me feeling empty that I might need to realign my expectations for my life and shift what I want to line up more with the reality.
Ugh.I don't want to give up - I used to be Suzy Sunshine, the biggest damn believer in The Fairy Tale. I'm not so delusional to believe that anything is perfect, I just want to find the guy who is perfect for me. Right now, I'm having the hardest time believing that he's actually out there.
I seriously need to shake this funk before my date with Tom on Monday. I need to reclaim Suzy Sunshine so that Debbie Downer doesn't show up for dinner.
Friday, March 12, 2010
To Text or Not to Text, that is the question.
Tom is going out of town this weekend to visit his parents. We agreed that he'd call me when he gets back in town (I hope/expect to hear from him Sunday evening) to set up a day and time to meet.
A good friend suggested I shoot him a text after work today saying that I hope he has a great weekend with his family, look forward to catching up next week, blah, blah, blah. Short and sweet.
Yay or nay? Too pushy/desperate? Or a thoughtful gesture?
Reply quickly - If I send the text, it's gotta be this evening!
A good friend suggested I shoot him a text after work today saying that I hope he has a great weekend with his family, look forward to catching up next week, blah, blah, blah. Short and sweet.
Yay or nay? Too pushy/desperate? Or a thoughtful gesture?
Reply quickly - If I send the text, it's gotta be this evening!
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