The short of last night is this: I had an amazing, wonderful, awesome time and feel like I could go on about it for hours!
I arrived a few minutes late because traffic was terrible. I left my car with the valet because I didn't see any street spots in the immediate vicinity of the restaurant. I opened the front door and there he was, right there at the bar, sipping a glass of wine. Mark turned as I opened the door and we made immediate eye contact and he stood up and we hugged (that "what to do?" concern was off the list of things to worry about!). As I sat down next to him, I could tell that I wasn't the only one who was nervous (more on that later!!). Despite being nervous, the conversation flowed like it always did. No silences, no awkward interruption - just really good conversation and sharing stories with one another.
After we each finished our glass of wine, we went across the street to the Italian restaurant (turns out he had called and made 900 reservations earlier in the day). We got there a bit before 9 and the place was completely packed, so we went to a bar close by and had another drink while we waited - all the while talking and catching up about really light topics (travels, work stories, family stuff).
When we returned to the Italian restaurant, we were seated and shared an appetizer and 2 entrees (YUM - great food!). This whole time talking, talking, talking...
toward the end of the meal IT came up - the elephant in the room - what the heck happened three years ago. He was very sincere and apologetic to me in his explanation: The woman (he referenced when he broke things off with me) moved back here and he thought she was perfect for him (physically, personality-wise, hobbies, etc.). He said that they dated for a few months and he learned her true colors and really regretted letting me go. He actually said "I'm so sorry." I was floored.
Then I asked him what made him initiate contact with me and he told me that he almost didn't because he didn't think in a million years that I'd respond to him. His answer left me a bit speechless - he initiated contact with me because I've always been in the back of his mind these last few years. He said he found himself thinking of me, little thoughtful things I did for him, how I truly "got" him, and how, in his travels, he'd often find himself places that he wished he could experience with me. WHOA. And then he said that he is so graetful to be getting a second chance, if that's what this is. And I was honest with him - I said I didn't fully trust him anymore and he replied back that he was willing to work hard to earn my trust. I could see the sincerity in his eyes - or he's a stellar actor.
So he asked me out for Saturday night and we're both looking forward to not having to cut our time together "short." By this time it was after 12, and we were the only ones left in the restaurant, except the owner. I got my car out of the valet and drove him to his car and we exchanged the usual "I had a great time" "so did I" etc. pleasantries. Then, we kissed. Not heavy making out kissing, but really nice, sweet, super intimate kisses. And as he pulled away he kissed me on the forehead and paused there for a few seconds before pulling away. Seriously, it was like out of a movie or something - that moment was totally not my life.
Imagine my surprise this morning, as I'm sitting here, writing this, when a new text is delivered to my phone: Good morning, Happy Friday! :) Had a wonderful time last night and looking forward to spending more time together on Saturday. Have a great day!!
Sigh. :) But I must also remember to stay guarded... I can't let myself to trust him too much just yet...
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Update-2.28.08
I'm all set for my date with Mark tonight. We're meeting at this restaurant at 730 for a drink and then we'll go across the street to another restaurant for dinner - either Italian or sushi. I'm so excited, but there's a shadow of hesitation lurking behind the glow of excitement. I do not want to get hurt again.
I must say, though, Mark impressed the heck out of me yesterday morning. As I wrote in my last entry, he kind of cut our conversation off rather abruptly at 1115 on Tuesday night. And yes, I was somewhat bummed as I was willing to forgo sleep in favor of catching up with him. So, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to receive an email from him mid- morning on Wednesday, apologizing for cutting our conversation short. It was a nice email, he sent me a link to a web site we'd been discussing, and reiterated that he was looking forward to seeing me on Thursday. Yay!
Is this day over yet??? I can't wait to see how tonight goes!
I must say, though, Mark impressed the heck out of me yesterday morning. As I wrote in my last entry, he kind of cut our conversation off rather abruptly at 1115 on Tuesday night. And yes, I was somewhat bummed as I was willing to forgo sleep in favor of catching up with him. So, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to receive an email from him mid- morning on Wednesday, apologizing for cutting our conversation short. It was a nice email, he sent me a link to a web site we'd been discussing, and reiterated that he was looking forward to seeing me on Thursday. Yay!
Is this day over yet??? I can't wait to see how tonight goes!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Update-2.27.08
Mark and I finally talked last night. And the guarded side of me and the excited side of me are having seriously conflicting responses. The guarded side is saying: Dammit… it went REALLY well. The guarded side is saying: Wooo Hooo!!! IT WENT REALLY WELL!!
He called at 940 and we talked until 1115! We had so much to talk about – he did a lot of the talking, but asked thoughtful questions of me when appropriate. I was also tired, buzzed (I'd had some girlfriends over earlier in the evening for wine and appetizers) and not feeling overly talkative at that point in the evening. And Mark has a lot of interesting stories from his world travels the last few years.
At 1115, he ended the conversation, saying something along the lines of “It’s probably past both of our bed times and I think we both know what could happen if we stay on the phone," alluding to our 5 hour phone conversation the very first time we spoke back in 2004. He’s just so easy to talk to, and it was like no time had passed – it reminded me of when I talk to this one, certain friend from college. She lives in Colorado and we talk maybe once a year and we can just pick up where we left off. That’s how it was with Mark last night – no awkwardness (I think he may have been a bit nervous in the beginning) and just lots of banter and talking.
So we’re on for Thursday night at 730. That way, he and I can both work out.
He said one thing that made me particularly nervous though – in reference to his job and how he’s unhappy there and how he gets a monthly call from two very popular, West coast technology companies to come work for them… out West. It leaves me hesitant to even consider anything with him – would he pull that same BS disappearing act?? When I found myself getting in my head over that question last night after the call ended, I reminded myself that Thursday is only DRINKS (and maybe dinner) and that I may not even feel the same spark/chemistry in person – one day at a time.
He called at 940 and we talked until 1115! We had so much to talk about – he did a lot of the talking, but asked thoughtful questions of me when appropriate. I was also tired, buzzed (I'd had some girlfriends over earlier in the evening for wine and appetizers) and not feeling overly talkative at that point in the evening. And Mark has a lot of interesting stories from his world travels the last few years.
At 1115, he ended the conversation, saying something along the lines of “It’s probably past both of our bed times and I think we both know what could happen if we stay on the phone," alluding to our 5 hour phone conversation the very first time we spoke back in 2004. He’s just so easy to talk to, and it was like no time had passed – it reminded me of when I talk to this one, certain friend from college. She lives in Colorado and we talk maybe once a year and we can just pick up where we left off. That’s how it was with Mark last night – no awkwardness (I think he may have been a bit nervous in the beginning) and just lots of banter and talking.
So we’re on for Thursday night at 730. That way, he and I can both work out.
He said one thing that made me particularly nervous though – in reference to his job and how he’s unhappy there and how he gets a monthly call from two very popular, West coast technology companies to come work for them… out West. It leaves me hesitant to even consider anything with him – would he pull that same BS disappearing act?? When I found myself getting in my head over that question last night after the call ended, I reminded myself that Thursday is only DRINKS (and maybe dinner) and that I may not even feel the same spark/chemistry in person – one day at a time.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Update-2.26.08
If you could get awards for life in general, I'd get an "A" for last night's efforts in distracting myself.
I was fully expecting Mark to call me since I gave him my number earlier in the day via email and told him to call me to figure out our plans for getting together this week. I got home from work, ran nearly six miles (it was gorgeous outside!), stretched, stretched, showered, cooked dinner, cleaned up around the house, watched Law & Order, paid bills, read, surfed around on the Internet... anything to keep my mind off the fact that my phone hadn't rung.
Finally, at 10, I was exhausted and couldn't stay awake any longer. I went to bed and I'll admit it, I was totally bummed that I hadn't heard from him. While brushing my teeth, I gave myself a little pep talk - He wasn't OBLIGATED to call me, he'd probably call on Tuesday night. I fell asleep relatively quickly, but remembered waking up in the middle of the night and being disappointed that my phone wasn't blinking red to indicate a missed call or message.
After I was ready for work this morning, I had a few minutes before I needed to leave the house so I logged on my personal email. And there it was!! :) He sent an email at 10:30 apologizing for not calling me. Turns out, his colleagues from the West coast were in town - they went to happy hour which turned into dinner and he got home late and didn't want to call me past 10. He said he'd call me tonight.
I know I'm supposed to be guarded and have a super thick wall up... but I can't help feeling really excited. YAY!!!
Oh yeah, and we're on for drinks on Thursday night!! Now the important question - what to wear???
I was fully expecting Mark to call me since I gave him my number earlier in the day via email and told him to call me to figure out our plans for getting together this week. I got home from work, ran nearly six miles (it was gorgeous outside!), stretched, stretched, showered, cooked dinner, cleaned up around the house, watched Law & Order, paid bills, read, surfed around on the Internet... anything to keep my mind off the fact that my phone hadn't rung.
Finally, at 10, I was exhausted and couldn't stay awake any longer. I went to bed and I'll admit it, I was totally bummed that I hadn't heard from him. While brushing my teeth, I gave myself a little pep talk - He wasn't OBLIGATED to call me, he'd probably call on Tuesday night. I fell asleep relatively quickly, but remembered waking up in the middle of the night and being disappointed that my phone wasn't blinking red to indicate a missed call or message.
After I was ready for work this morning, I had a few minutes before I needed to leave the house so I logged on my personal email. And there it was!! :) He sent an email at 10:30 apologizing for not calling me. Turns out, his colleagues from the West coast were in town - they went to happy hour which turned into dinner and he got home late and didn't want to call me past 10. He said he'd call me tonight.
I know I'm supposed to be guarded and have a super thick wall up... but I can't help feeling really excited. YAY!!!
Oh yeah, and we're on for drinks on Thursday night!! Now the important question - what to wear???
Monday, February 25, 2008
Update-2.25.08
I had to make myself go to bed last night in order to get myself to stop obsessively checking my email. As I was sitting in the car this morning, waiting for it to warm up, I checked my email on my BlackBerry. And there it was... Mark's REPLY!!
I was so excited I immediately got all nervous again and I dropped the BlackBerry into my lap. He sent the reply at 1020, just 20 minutes after I went into the bedroom and refused myself another log in.
Mark's email made me miss him all over again. He's one of those people that writes just like he talks - you feel like you're having a verbal conversation, even though you're only reading his words. He asked me several questions and told me about some of the exciting stuff he's had going on the last few years. Then he suggested that we grab drinks later this week because he'd "love to catch up." He included his number at the end of his email.
I don't think I should be the one to call first, so I'm working on a reply that I'll send from work today. I'll agree to drinks and include my number.
I'm trying to be guarded and not overly excited about the whole thing, but I can't help myself. Writing him back is just so easy. The initial email was tough because I was worried he didn't know it was me. But with this second message, I haven't agonized over my words and what to say the way I have with some of these other guys. Even writing to Casey wasn't this easy. I remember that Mark and I always had really witty banter - over email and in person. So we'll see where this goes. When we get together in person, I'm going to ask him what the heck happened three years ago. Even if nothing happens between us, I'll finally get the answer I've been looking for all this time.
I was so excited I immediately got all nervous again and I dropped the BlackBerry into my lap. He sent the reply at 1020, just 20 minutes after I went into the bedroom and refused myself another log in.
Mark's email made me miss him all over again. He's one of those people that writes just like he talks - you feel like you're having a verbal conversation, even though you're only reading his words. He asked me several questions and told me about some of the exciting stuff he's had going on the last few years. Then he suggested that we grab drinks later this week because he'd "love to catch up." He included his number at the end of his email.
I don't think I should be the one to call first, so I'm working on a reply that I'll send from work today. I'll agree to drinks and include my number.
I'm trying to be guarded and not overly excited about the whole thing, but I can't help myself. Writing him back is just so easy. The initial email was tough because I was worried he didn't know it was me. But with this second message, I haven't agonized over my words and what to say the way I have with some of these other guys. Even writing to Casey wasn't this easy. I remember that Mark and I always had really witty banter - over email and in person. So we'll see where this goes. When we get together in person, I'm going to ask him what the heck happened three years ago. Even if nothing happens between us, I'll finally get the answer I've been looking for all this time.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Update-2.24.08 Part II
I am riddled with anxiety. Butterflies have taken over my stomach and are flying around so much I'm queasy. I sent the email to Mark about 3 hours ago and I haven't heard anything back yet.
I realize it's Sunday - he could be out running, having dinner with friends, doing errands... there are a million things that he could be doing instead of sitting in front of his computer. But the suspense is KILLING ME.
My email to him was very casual. Here's basically what I wrote (since I've already been asked three times):
What a pleasant surprise to see a familiar face on [the dating site]! :)Sounds like you’re doing great! [Next I asked him several specific questions - if he still works for the same company, lives in the same part of town, etc.] I’d love to hear what’s new with you.
[Here I briefly told him about buying my new place 2 years ago and where I'm currently working and how much I enjoy my job].
I hope you had a great weekend! I look forward to hearing back from you. Feel free to email me at [my personal email address].
So, here I sit. Obsessively checking my Inbox and trying to distract myself with the gowns on the Red Carpet at the Oscars. Fingers crossed that the reply comes sooner rather than later.
I realize it's Sunday - he could be out running, having dinner with friends, doing errands... there are a million things that he could be doing instead of sitting in front of his computer. But the suspense is KILLING ME.
My email to him was very casual. Here's basically what I wrote (since I've already been asked three times):
What a pleasant surprise to see a familiar face on [the dating site]! :)Sounds like you’re doing great! [Next I asked him several specific questions - if he still works for the same company, lives in the same part of town, etc.] I’d love to hear what’s new with you.
[Here I briefly told him about buying my new place 2 years ago and where I'm currently working and how much I enjoy my job].
I hope you had a great weekend! I look forward to hearing back from you. Feel free to email me at [my personal email address].
So, here I sit. Obsessively checking my Inbox and trying to distract myself with the gowns on the Red Carpet at the Oscars. Fingers crossed that the reply comes sooner rather than later.
Update-2.24.08
My friend J joked earlier this week about taking bets as to whether my date with Brian would actually, finally happen. She really should have done it because at this point, she's have some extra cash in hand.
My plan on Friday afternoon was to call Brian at 4:30 to set a time and place, if I hadn't heard from him first. I got back to my desk at 4:15 and saw that my phone was blinking red - a new text message. His text said the following "This meeting started at 2 - happy hour looking very iffy. Are you going to be out tonite? I think we'll be in X" (name of part of town).
I was shocked, but not really. Exasperated is probably a better word for how I felt. That had to be one HELL of a meeting that starts at 2 on a Friday and that would make happy hour an impossibility. Did I really believe that?
I emailed several girlfriends with the latest Brian update. They wrote back expressing a variety of sentiments - from "F him!" to "Maybe you should meet up with him later." One wise friend was quick to express that Brian is an ass because he already had plans scheduled for after our happy hour date - it was like he double booked himself for the evening. That hadn't crossed my mind until she pointed it out. What an excellent point! SO RUDE of him!
I texted him back that I was going to have drinks with some coworkers, but I may meet up with friends at a certain bar a bit later, but it wouldn't be a late night. I told him if he was in the area to let me know. I never heard from him that night, and I'm alright with that. Obviously meeting me is not a huge priority for him. And he just started a new job - he doesn't have the time to date, much less be in a relationship - which is ultimately what I'm looking for. I'm finished making the effort to meet Brian. No hard feelings, he's just clearly not for me.
So...many people are curious about the latest with Mark. We went through a few more stages of communication this weekend and now it's up to me to send the initial email to him through the system. In order to avoid looking too eager, I'm waiting 'til this evening to send it.
I had a bit of a freak out yesterday when I read his answers to the questions I provided to him. He gave me A LOT of background to some answers, delving into his history - things we talked a lot about and things I know were important to him. With the way he was providing all this information, the anxiety came back - did he not know it is me that he's communicating with??!!??
At a party last night, I picked my friend's husband's brain about the Mark situation and my concern. He is certain that Mark knows it's me. He said there is absolutely, positively no way he doesn't know. I've felt MUCH better about this Mark thing since that discussion. And I guess I'll have the official answer once I send the email to Mark tonight. I'm kind of nervous...
My plan on Friday afternoon was to call Brian at 4:30 to set a time and place, if I hadn't heard from him first. I got back to my desk at 4:15 and saw that my phone was blinking red - a new text message. His text said the following "This meeting started at 2 - happy hour looking very iffy. Are you going to be out tonite? I think we'll be in X" (name of part of town).
I was shocked, but not really. Exasperated is probably a better word for how I felt. That had to be one HELL of a meeting that starts at 2 on a Friday and that would make happy hour an impossibility. Did I really believe that?
I emailed several girlfriends with the latest Brian update. They wrote back expressing a variety of sentiments - from "F him!" to "Maybe you should meet up with him later." One wise friend was quick to express that Brian is an ass because he already had plans scheduled for after our happy hour date - it was like he double booked himself for the evening. That hadn't crossed my mind until she pointed it out. What an excellent point! SO RUDE of him!
I texted him back that I was going to have drinks with some coworkers, but I may meet up with friends at a certain bar a bit later, but it wouldn't be a late night. I told him if he was in the area to let me know. I never heard from him that night, and I'm alright with that. Obviously meeting me is not a huge priority for him. And he just started a new job - he doesn't have the time to date, much less be in a relationship - which is ultimately what I'm looking for. I'm finished making the effort to meet Brian. No hard feelings, he's just clearly not for me.
So...many people are curious about the latest with Mark. We went through a few more stages of communication this weekend and now it's up to me to send the initial email to him through the system. In order to avoid looking too eager, I'm waiting 'til this evening to send it.
I had a bit of a freak out yesterday when I read his answers to the questions I provided to him. He gave me A LOT of background to some answers, delving into his history - things we talked a lot about and things I know were important to him. With the way he was providing all this information, the anxiety came back - did he not know it is me that he's communicating with??!!??
At a party last night, I picked my friend's husband's brain about the Mark situation and my concern. He is certain that Mark knows it's me. He said there is absolutely, positively no way he doesn't know. I've felt MUCH better about this Mark thing since that discussion. And I guess I'll have the official answer once I send the email to Mark tonight. I'm kind of nervous...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Update-2.21.08
After a wonderful dinner with a close friend last night, I went home and logged onto the Site. Once on the site, I did the next two steps quickly and with minimal thought, like tearing off a Band-Aid. I don't know why I was in such a hurry, I just was. Maybe I didn't want to allow myself time to overthink everything? I answered Mark's multiple choice questions quickly. I knew what my answers were without really even thinking about them because I've received all the questions from various guys before. Then I clicked on the button to send him the five standard multiple choice questions that I send to all guys.
I immediately had an "OH CRAP" moment after I clicked on the Send Questions button. One of them asks to pick the best option that describes his parents' relationship. I already KNOW the deal with his parents' relationship. They are divorced and it wasn't a good situation. He more or less can't stand his father. I immediately felt like an ass for sending that question to him and wondered what he'd think when he saw it.
I was floored when, an hour later, I received an email notification that he had replied with his answers. His answers were pretty much what I knew they'd be. But the way in which he explained the situation with his parents makes me worry that he doesn't really know it's ME that he's communicating with. But how could he NOT?? I mean, dating for 8 weeks just over 3 years ago is most likely just a slight blip on his dating radar, but could he not remember me at all? Is it possible that my slightly unusual name, my photos, my mention of where I'm from and the things I'm interested didn't resonate with him at all? It seems so far fetched... he would have had to have suffered blunt head trauma (or be a total idiot) for that to be the case. Right???
The next step in communication falls to me. I owe him a reply tonight and will do so after the gym and dinner. My wise sister told me that I am limited to one step in communication per day. A wise friend agreed and said to do otherwise would make me appear overeager. Stellar points ladies!
No word from any of the other potential guys on the horizon, not counting Brian. After rescheduling our date for Friday, I don't expect to hear from him 'til tomorrow when we pick a time and place. I'm excited to meet him - and see what he looks like and learn more about him - tomorrow! I'm trying so hard not to get too caught up in this ridiculously wild and crazy Mark situation. I need to not let it take over my thoughts and dating efforts.
I immediately had an "OH CRAP" moment after I clicked on the Send Questions button. One of them asks to pick the best option that describes his parents' relationship. I already KNOW the deal with his parents' relationship. They are divorced and it wasn't a good situation. He more or less can't stand his father. I immediately felt like an ass for sending that question to him and wondered what he'd think when he saw it.
I was floored when, an hour later, I received an email notification that he had replied with his answers. His answers were pretty much what I knew they'd be. But the way in which he explained the situation with his parents makes me worry that he doesn't really know it's ME that he's communicating with. But how could he NOT?? I mean, dating for 8 weeks just over 3 years ago is most likely just a slight blip on his dating radar, but could he not remember me at all? Is it possible that my slightly unusual name, my photos, my mention of where I'm from and the things I'm interested didn't resonate with him at all? It seems so far fetched... he would have had to have suffered blunt head trauma (or be a total idiot) for that to be the case. Right???
The next step in communication falls to me. I owe him a reply tonight and will do so after the gym and dinner. My wise sister told me that I am limited to one step in communication per day. A wise friend agreed and said to do otherwise would make me appear overeager. Stellar points ladies!
No word from any of the other potential guys on the horizon, not counting Brian. After rescheduling our date for Friday, I don't expect to hear from him 'til tomorrow when we pick a time and place. I'm excited to meet him - and see what he looks like and learn more about him - tomorrow! I'm trying so hard not to get too caught up in this ridiculously wild and crazy Mark situation. I need to not let it take over my thoughts and dating efforts.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Update-2.20.08
It happened...again! Why am I even surprised?
Brian called a bit ago to tell me that his flight home from DC is delayed due to weather. We rescheduled our date for the 100th time for this Friday night. Sigh. Am I ever going to meet him??
On a positive note, he called me. He didn't text... didn't email. CALLED. LIVE. ON THE PHONE. In this age of Text Kings and e-mail reliant suitors, Brian gets bonus points for actually picking up the phone and talking to me live. Even better, he's got a great voice - deep, very articulate, no strong accent. Friday should be fun - and I find that I'm even more excited than I was before now that I can put a voice with his name and email address.
With my newly found spare time this evening, after I breeze through Filene's, I'll be meeting a friend for dinner to discuss (pick apart, overanalyze, etc.) :) the Mark situation. I've decided that I'm going to respond to him, probably tonight when I get home from dinner.
Brian called a bit ago to tell me that his flight home from DC is delayed due to weather. We rescheduled our date for the 100th time for this Friday night. Sigh. Am I ever going to meet him??
On a positive note, he called me. He didn't text... didn't email. CALLED. LIVE. ON THE PHONE. In this age of Text Kings and e-mail reliant suitors, Brian gets bonus points for actually picking up the phone and talking to me live. Even better, he's got a great voice - deep, very articulate, no strong accent. Friday should be fun - and I find that I'm even more excited than I was before now that I can put a voice with his name and email address.
With my newly found spare time this evening, after I breeze through Filene's, I'll be meeting a friend for dinner to discuss (pick apart, overanalyze, etc.) :) the Mark situation. I've decided that I'm going to respond to him, probably tonight when I get home from dinner.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Update-2.19.08
HOLY CRAP!!
It figures, it absolutely, totally figures!! GET THIS: Tonight, I cancelled my membership and automatic renewal for the dating site. I've been unimpressed with the matches and figured I'd join up again when the weather turns warm and people are out and about and thinking about dating. Until my membership expires on February 25, I will still receive matches and can communicate with them. Well, I was all ready to say "sayonara dating site" until about 25 minutes ago. I got an email notification that I had a new match. His name, Mark, age 33 and living in my same city. My stomach immediately dropped - could it possibly be??? No way - there was just no way! I scanned his profile summary and more butterflies moved into my stomach - there were too many similarities for it NOT to be him. The profile summary didn't show his photo, so I logged into the site in record time in order to see if this really was happening. I soon had my answer - it, without a doubt, totally was him.
Nay, Who the heck is "him?" I'll try to keep this brief: I met Mark in October of 2004 through another popular dating site. He had just moved to town earlier that year and had told me that he hadn't seriously dated anyone since he arrived. We had the most unbelievable chemistry and the first time we spoke on the phone it was for five (yes, five!) hours. The very next day we met for coffee, which turned into drinks, which turned into dinner. Before I knew it, I was a smitten kitten, things were progressing nicely, and we'd both taken our profiles off the dating site. For New Years Mark went to New Orleans with friends and called me hourly to tell me he was thinking of me. I felt like I'd won the lottery - I was so happy. I picked him up at the airport the next day and we had a great evening together. Then he called two days later and told me (OVER THE PHONE - which he admitted was a cowardly thing to do) that he couldn't see me anymore, that a woman he dated when he first moved down here had moved back to town and he wanted to give things a shot with her. I was devastated - my heart was beyond broken.
The only silver lining to the whole thing was that I lost about 10 lbs in 2 weeks. :) Anyway, I ended up seeing his profile posted back on the same dating Web site several weeks later. I haven't had any communication with him since a final email I sent to him a week after that heartbreaking phone call. He emailed me nine months later and was asking how I was doing, and I deleted it, as I was happily dating my most recent ex.
I've speculated a million times over what he lied to me about: 1) that he dated someone seriously or 2)that this woman ever even existed and he needed an "out" (odds were very good that he was going to be transferred to Seattle for his job).
So I read his profile and looked at his photos and he doesn't seem to have changed a bit. He still has an unbelievable smile that makes his eyes sparkle, and his body is still in fantastic shape from running marathons. The statements in his profile make me miss him and what we had together, and then I find that I'm angry with myself for not being like "screw you, ahole!" and closing him.
But the irony of all this is NOT lost on me: the fact that I had just closed my account tonight, that I've been thinking of him a lot lately (yes, I will even admit to a single instance of a "drive by" the week of my birthday - I was curious to see if he still lived in the same house) including earlier tonight, when I first got home from the gym (before I'd even closed my account). I'm stunned. That's the only way to describe what I'm feeling.
I haven't responded to his request to communicate yet. I need to give it a day or so to sink in. Also, I'm finally having drinks with Brian (friend of coworker) tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it - we've been trying to get together since DECEMBER. This is long overdue.
So, my friends, toss your comments and advice my way. Those who knew me back when the Mark thing happened will surely be floored and likely be anxious to share their $0.02. My mom was speechless (which, if you know her, is monumental). I'll write again soon with an update on my date with Brian.
It figures, it absolutely, totally figures!! GET THIS: Tonight, I cancelled my membership and automatic renewal for the dating site. I've been unimpressed with the matches and figured I'd join up again when the weather turns warm and people are out and about and thinking about dating. Until my membership expires on February 25, I will still receive matches and can communicate with them. Well, I was all ready to say "sayonara dating site" until about 25 minutes ago. I got an email notification that I had a new match. His name, Mark, age 33 and living in my same city. My stomach immediately dropped - could it possibly be??? No way - there was just no way! I scanned his profile summary and more butterflies moved into my stomach - there were too many similarities for it NOT to be him. The profile summary didn't show his photo, so I logged into the site in record time in order to see if this really was happening. I soon had my answer - it, without a doubt, totally was him.
Nay, Who the heck is "him?" I'll try to keep this brief: I met Mark in October of 2004 through another popular dating site. He had just moved to town earlier that year and had told me that he hadn't seriously dated anyone since he arrived. We had the most unbelievable chemistry and the first time we spoke on the phone it was for five (yes, five!) hours. The very next day we met for coffee, which turned into drinks, which turned into dinner. Before I knew it, I was a smitten kitten, things were progressing nicely, and we'd both taken our profiles off the dating site. For New Years Mark went to New Orleans with friends and called me hourly to tell me he was thinking of me. I felt like I'd won the lottery - I was so happy. I picked him up at the airport the next day and we had a great evening together. Then he called two days later and told me (OVER THE PHONE - which he admitted was a cowardly thing to do) that he couldn't see me anymore, that a woman he dated when he first moved down here had moved back to town and he wanted to give things a shot with her. I was devastated - my heart was beyond broken.
The only silver lining to the whole thing was that I lost about 10 lbs in 2 weeks. :) Anyway, I ended up seeing his profile posted back on the same dating Web site several weeks later. I haven't had any communication with him since a final email I sent to him a week after that heartbreaking phone call. He emailed me nine months later and was asking how I was doing, and I deleted it, as I was happily dating my most recent ex.
I've speculated a million times over what he lied to me about: 1) that he dated someone seriously or 2)that this woman ever even existed and he needed an "out" (odds were very good that he was going to be transferred to Seattle for his job).
So I read his profile and looked at his photos and he doesn't seem to have changed a bit. He still has an unbelievable smile that makes his eyes sparkle, and his body is still in fantastic shape from running marathons. The statements in his profile make me miss him and what we had together, and then I find that I'm angry with myself for not being like "screw you, ahole!" and closing him.
But the irony of all this is NOT lost on me: the fact that I had just closed my account tonight, that I've been thinking of him a lot lately (yes, I will even admit to a single instance of a "drive by" the week of my birthday - I was curious to see if he still lived in the same house) including earlier tonight, when I first got home from the gym (before I'd even closed my account). I'm stunned. That's the only way to describe what I'm feeling.
I haven't responded to his request to communicate yet. I need to give it a day or so to sink in. Also, I'm finally having drinks with Brian (friend of coworker) tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it - we've been trying to get together since DECEMBER. This is long overdue.
So, my friends, toss your comments and advice my way. Those who knew me back when the Mark thing happened will surely be floored and likely be anxious to share their $0.02. My mom was speechless (which, if you know her, is monumental). I'll write again soon with an update on my date with Brian.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Update-2.10.08
FINALLY!!
I logged on to the site this morning and there are actually some matches that are intriguing to me! I initiated contact with three of them. They're all between four and six years older than me and seem like good, normal guys. I did this about five minutes ago, so obviously I haven't heard back from anyone.
I also replied to the three guys I had been previously communicating with. One of them, this boy-next-door looking, tall engineer, sent me his list of "10 must haves and 10 can't stands" in a partner. I was a bit put off with one of his Must Haves: I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards. Ew. It seems so shallow that out of all of the options that were given to select (and there were LOTS), he picked that one! I replied to him with the necessary next step of communication, but I have to admit that his selection was a turn off. His stock just went down.
I logged on to the site this morning and there are actually some matches that are intriguing to me! I initiated contact with three of them. They're all between four and six years older than me and seem like good, normal guys. I did this about five minutes ago, so obviously I haven't heard back from anyone.
I also replied to the three guys I had been previously communicating with. One of them, this boy-next-door looking, tall engineer, sent me his list of "10 must haves and 10 can't stands" in a partner. I was a bit put off with one of his Must Haves: I must have a partner who is considered "very attractive" by most current standards. Ew. It seems so shallow that out of all of the options that were given to select (and there were LOTS), he picked that one! I replied to him with the necessary next step of communication, but I have to admit that his selection was a turn off. His stock just went down.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Update-2.8.08
I'm officially 30 and life couldn't be better.
Aside from having the most wonderful family and friends, a job I enjoy, a nice home, and lots of great things on the horizon to look forward to, I have several new dating prospects that I'm really excited about!
The quality of matches from the dating site has been grim, at best, these last few weeks. I found myself getting discouraged and frustrated, and turning my attention to checking out guys at the gym and the grocery store. I've already learned my lesson dating gym guys (my closest friends may recall the Chaz debacle and the crazy story of my one and only date with Jim from the gym), so maybe that guy at Publix is a better prospect than the hottie in my cycling class.... anyway - none of that matters because other avenues have proven to be much more promising!
I had the GREATEST dentist appointment yesterday. Who says that??? Especially when getting a filling redone! But it's true. A little background - my dentist, and his entire staff, is gay or lesbian. Some are more obvious than others, but it's a universal thing there. Anyway, as I sat down in the chair, my dentist and his technician (who is a total Queen) were gathering their tools, etc and the dentist says to me "Girl - why aren't you married??" My response - "I just turned 30 yesterday and asked myself the same question!" What IS the appropriate response to that question?? Then I continued with "Do you have any good looking, eligible patients you'd like to introduce me to?" AND HE DOES!! He and the technician, and the hygienist on the other side of the wall who overheard the whole thing, told me all about this patient, Joe, who has been coming to him for years. He's apparently really nice, talkative and friendly, and takes good care of his teeth and gums (hilarious - but of course, they would know!). He's my age, an architect, and has beautiful blue eyes. They were all raving about how good looking he is - the dentist went so far as to say "If you meet him and tell him I said this, I'll deny it to the end, but he's got a rockin' bod and the tightest ass!" I almost fell off the chair - so funny!! So I just threw the question out there "Do you have a photo of him?" I had forgotten all about having my own photo taken there several years ago. So after having a quick "Is showing his photo ethical?" debate among the three of them, they pulled his photo up on to the monitor that was hanging from the ceiling. I think my favorite quote during that part of this experience was the dentist telling the technician to "Click on his thing! Click on his thing!" And, after realizing what he said, he was like "Uh, yeah - we'd like to click on his thing!" So funny!! Joe is really cute and looks like a nice guy - and yes, his eyes really are a great, bright shade of blue. They also showed me the close up of his teeth - kinda' creepy - but they are, indeed, nice and well-maintained. :) So I told them that if Joe was open to it, I was open to it. We'll see what happens... I think anything coming out of that will be a long-shot, but you never know! And even if nothing happens, the dentist visit experience of yesterday makes for a great story!
I've known about the second guy, Dave, for nearly two years. He's the colleague of one of my closest friends. She wanted to set us up 2 years ago, and it never worked out. She approached him yesterday and learned that he had just ended a several-month-dating "thing" and that he was up for meeting me. She gave him my information and he's going to contact me next week. Fun! Unfortunately, I'm traveling for work most of the week, but it will be fun to start communicating with him at least! She said he's very cool and even if there isn't any sort of spark, that we'll most definitely have a nice time together. You're probably wondering so I'll tell you before you ask - I have no idea what he looks like, and he doesn't know what I look like either.
And lastly, there's Brian (friend of sleazy coworker). I sill haven't heard back from him regarding happy hour next week (Friday), but I'm trying to be patient since he told me that this week was going to be out of control for him.
That's it for now - hopefully, I'll get some dates on the calendar again in the next few weeks and have more exciting things to report!
Aside from having the most wonderful family and friends, a job I enjoy, a nice home, and lots of great things on the horizon to look forward to, I have several new dating prospects that I'm really excited about!
The quality of matches from the dating site has been grim, at best, these last few weeks. I found myself getting discouraged and frustrated, and turning my attention to checking out guys at the gym and the grocery store. I've already learned my lesson dating gym guys (my closest friends may recall the Chaz debacle and the crazy story of my one and only date with Jim from the gym), so maybe that guy at Publix is a better prospect than the hottie in my cycling class.... anyway - none of that matters because other avenues have proven to be much more promising!
I had the GREATEST dentist appointment yesterday. Who says that??? Especially when getting a filling redone! But it's true. A little background - my dentist, and his entire staff, is gay or lesbian. Some are more obvious than others, but it's a universal thing there. Anyway, as I sat down in the chair, my dentist and his technician (who is a total Queen) were gathering their tools, etc and the dentist says to me "Girl - why aren't you married??" My response - "I just turned 30 yesterday and asked myself the same question!" What IS the appropriate response to that question?? Then I continued with "Do you have any good looking, eligible patients you'd like to introduce me to?" AND HE DOES!! He and the technician, and the hygienist on the other side of the wall who overheard the whole thing, told me all about this patient, Joe, who has been coming to him for years. He's apparently really nice, talkative and friendly, and takes good care of his teeth and gums (hilarious - but of course, they would know!). He's my age, an architect, and has beautiful blue eyes. They were all raving about how good looking he is - the dentist went so far as to say "If you meet him and tell him I said this, I'll deny it to the end, but he's got a rockin' bod and the tightest ass!" I almost fell off the chair - so funny!! So I just threw the question out there "Do you have a photo of him?" I had forgotten all about having my own photo taken there several years ago. So after having a quick "Is showing his photo ethical?" debate among the three of them, they pulled his photo up on to the monitor that was hanging from the ceiling. I think my favorite quote during that part of this experience was the dentist telling the technician to "Click on his thing! Click on his thing!" And, after realizing what he said, he was like "Uh, yeah - we'd like to click on his thing!" So funny!! Joe is really cute and looks like a nice guy - and yes, his eyes really are a great, bright shade of blue. They also showed me the close up of his teeth - kinda' creepy - but they are, indeed, nice and well-maintained. :) So I told them that if Joe was open to it, I was open to it. We'll see what happens... I think anything coming out of that will be a long-shot, but you never know! And even if nothing happens, the dentist visit experience of yesterday makes for a great story!
I've known about the second guy, Dave, for nearly two years. He's the colleague of one of my closest friends. She wanted to set us up 2 years ago, and it never worked out. She approached him yesterday and learned that he had just ended a several-month-dating "thing" and that he was up for meeting me. She gave him my information and he's going to contact me next week. Fun! Unfortunately, I'm traveling for work most of the week, but it will be fun to start communicating with him at least! She said he's very cool and even if there isn't any sort of spark, that we'll most definitely have a nice time together. You're probably wondering so I'll tell you before you ask - I have no idea what he looks like, and he doesn't know what I look like either.
And lastly, there's Brian (friend of sleazy coworker). I sill haven't heard back from him regarding happy hour next week (Friday), but I'm trying to be patient since he told me that this week was going to be out of control for him.
That's it for now - hopefully, I'll get some dates on the calendar again in the next few weeks and have more exciting things to report!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Update-2.4.08
I haven't been too focused on finding Mr. Right for the last several days. Instead, I've been awestruck at how wonderful and thoughtful my friends are. I always suspected it, but now I'm convinced - I have the most wonderful friends on the planet. This thoughtful group threw me the most unbelievable birthday party last Friday night. The evening was made complete when my sister and brother-in-law walked into the restaurant - they flew across the country to be there! It was an amazing night. So instead of hunting for men this weeend, I spent time with my amazing family and friends. I tear up when I think about how great of a time I had on Friday night - I'm so lucky!
Back to the Search for Zu...
I was supposed to finally meet Brian (friend of sketchy coworker) tomorrow night. Late last week, we finally set up "drinks" for Tuesday. Unfortunately, he cancelled on me today. But his reason is totally legitimate: he resigned from his job today and this week is likely to be chaotic with longer than usual hours tying up loose ends. Brian suggested next week, I'm out of town for most of it. I could do Thursday night, but I wasn't about to suggest Valentine's Day for our first meeting. I suggested we do happy hour a week from this Friday. It's insane - I've been trying to meet his guy for what seems like ages! I hope he's as cool as I've built him up to be in my mind. I don't even have any clue what he looks like!
Nothing to update from the site. Casey closed me out this weekend. I felt a twinge of guilt, but know that I did what was right for me. There really aren't a lot of guys on there - I feel like many signed up for the discounted trial this past fall (when I did) and now most are letting their memberships lapse (I know of at least one guy who fits in this category). I think these guys are frustrated and are not renewing their memberships. Crushing. It seems like I have no other outlets for meeting guys. None of my friends seem to know anyone that is both single and quality.
I'm trying not to get down about the whole thing. Even if I never find Mr. Right, at least I can say that my life has been blessed with wonderful friendships.
Jeez - not to discount my friendships but who am I kidding? I want both - Mr. Right AND wonderful friendships. Is that asking for too much? Have I jinxed my love life by having such great girlfriends? Is it possible for me to have both??
Back to the Search for Zu...
I was supposed to finally meet Brian (friend of sketchy coworker) tomorrow night. Late last week, we finally set up "drinks" for Tuesday. Unfortunately, he cancelled on me today. But his reason is totally legitimate: he resigned from his job today and this week is likely to be chaotic with longer than usual hours tying up loose ends. Brian suggested next week, I'm out of town for most of it. I could do Thursday night, but I wasn't about to suggest Valentine's Day for our first meeting. I suggested we do happy hour a week from this Friday. It's insane - I've been trying to meet his guy for what seems like ages! I hope he's as cool as I've built him up to be in my mind. I don't even have any clue what he looks like!
Nothing to update from the site. Casey closed me out this weekend. I felt a twinge of guilt, but know that I did what was right for me. There really aren't a lot of guys on there - I feel like many signed up for the discounted trial this past fall (when I did) and now most are letting their memberships lapse (I know of at least one guy who fits in this category). I think these guys are frustrated and are not renewing their memberships. Crushing. It seems like I have no other outlets for meeting guys. None of my friends seem to know anyone that is both single and quality.
I'm trying not to get down about the whole thing. Even if I never find Mr. Right, at least I can say that my life has been blessed with wonderful friendships.
Jeez - not to discount my friendships but who am I kidding? I want both - Mr. Right AND wonderful friendships. Is that asking for too much? Have I jinxed my love life by having such great girlfriends? Is it possible for me to have both??
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