Not a peep from Ryan, but I'm trying to remain optimistic and keep in mind the fact that he's on vacation with his family.
Up until today it's been slim pickings with the Site - few viable matches and no one I could see myself getting excited about. Imagine my surprise when I returned from the gym to find NINE new matches in my Inbox!
I'm not sure what's caused this influx of new matches. I was expecting the dating pool to grow deeper after the first of the year, after the eligible guys have spent another Christmas hearing family members ask "why are you still single?" Why this sudden surge in bachelors?
WAIT! Why am I questioning this?!? And why am I writing and not reviewing profiles??
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Update-12.27.07
It's been awhile since I've published updates, and not a lot has happened. I received a single new match over the Christmas holiday, but I closed him out due to a significant volume of Jesus/Christ/God/Faith mentions in his personality profile. Nothing against those who are religious or outwardly spiritual. That's just not the way that I am, and I know that I wouldn't be a good match with someone who is so out and proud regarding their religious preferences.
While the online dating pool has been relatively dry, there was a noteworthy meeting before I flew to visit my family for Christmas. Despite my best efforts to stifle my excitement and remain cautious, I must admit that I'm excited about the prospect of getting to know this guy, Ryan, better. The night before my flight I went to a bar with a good friend to celebrate her roommate's birthday. I was having a great time catching up with the people in our group, but I kept making eye-contact with this tall-ish, cute guy standing a few feet away.
After three drinks, I was feeling a bit sassy and the eye-contact led to a conversation. I don't recall exactly who started talking to whom first, but the conversation wasn't very long - just long enough for us to exchange names, for me to tell him that I was flying home for Christmas the next day, and for him to tell me that he wasn't going home for Christmas at all (but he's spending 5 days over New Year's at the beach with his family). His friends were ready to go, so he asked for my number.
Given the trickiness of the 2-day and/or 3-day rule, coupled with the holidays, I wasn't sure when I'd hear from him. Imagine my surprise when I was hanging out with my dad on Christmas Eve and a text came in:
Hi! It's Ryan from Friday night. I hope all is well with you. Have a great Christmas!
I was really excited and happy to get the message. I hadn't felt this excited about any of the guys that I'd been out with lately - with the exception of Mike (but that date was more than a month ago). I wanted to reply immediately, but I found the strength to play it cool and waited a few hours to reply back.
I haven't heard anything back from him yet, but I'm sure I'll hear something in the next few days. Fine, I'll openly admit it: I'm excited!! I'm really looking forward to getting to know him.
While the online dating pool has been relatively dry, there was a noteworthy meeting before I flew to visit my family for Christmas. Despite my best efforts to stifle my excitement and remain cautious, I must admit that I'm excited about the prospect of getting to know this guy, Ryan, better. The night before my flight I went to a bar with a good friend to celebrate her roommate's birthday. I was having a great time catching up with the people in our group, but I kept making eye-contact with this tall-ish, cute guy standing a few feet away.
After three drinks, I was feeling a bit sassy and the eye-contact led to a conversation. I don't recall exactly who started talking to whom first, but the conversation wasn't very long - just long enough for us to exchange names, for me to tell him that I was flying home for Christmas the next day, and for him to tell me that he wasn't going home for Christmas at all (but he's spending 5 days over New Year's at the beach with his family). His friends were ready to go, so he asked for my number.
Given the trickiness of the 2-day and/or 3-day rule, coupled with the holidays, I wasn't sure when I'd hear from him. Imagine my surprise when I was hanging out with my dad on Christmas Eve and a text came in:
Hi! It's Ryan from Friday night. I hope all is well with you. Have a great Christmas!
I was really excited and happy to get the message. I hadn't felt this excited about any of the guys that I'd been out with lately - with the exception of Mike (but that date was more than a month ago). I wanted to reply immediately, but I found the strength to play it cool and waited a few hours to reply back.
I haven't heard anything back from him yet, but I'm sure I'll hear something in the next few days. Fine, I'll openly admit it: I'm excited!! I'm really looking forward to getting to know him.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Update-12.18.07
What the heck is with these guys? Do they not understand what a crazy, ridiculously busy time of year this is?
I've had not one but TWO guys who I was kind of interested in close me out this week, citing that I hadn't "responded to their request to communicate." True, the next communication was in my court and it had been over a week, but jeez. No use of the "nudge" - the Site's signal for "Hey, I'm still interested in communicating with you." Just CLOSED - communication ended.
With both of these guys, I was due to send the initial email and I hadn't had the time to sit down and write something thoughtful, yet witty. Maybe I'm over thinking the time and effort I should be putting into the emails. Perhaps I should just fire off a quick message without putting too much thought into it, I should not worry about making sure that my emails are the appropriate mix of inquisitive and interested in the recipient, and interesting reading about what I have going on. A quick, not well-thought-out email is so not me - maybe I need to find a middle ground between the rapid-fire initial email and my overly thought-out "compositions." Perhaps a New Year's Resolution for 2008? ;-)
And an update on the Mike situation from last night's post:
Since this was the first time I've been closed by anyone that I'm interested in continuing communication with, I wasn't sure what happens when you click on the option to send the message to that person (the options are to close the person back or send a final message). When you select to send a final message, I thought you'd get to send a free-form email (perfect for Her Wordiness, here). But no! You can pick only one of several options - ranging from "best of luck with your search" to "I wish you'd reconsider." Crap. So I closed him, no comment, no email, no wishes for Happy Holidays.
So last night's request for advice was pointless - the decision was made for me. Although... it did spark some interesting discussions and debates today with me and my girlfriends.
I can't help it but I'm annoyed with these guys. I think I'm going to put the Site and Search on hold until after the first of the year. Maybe. :)
I've had not one but TWO guys who I was kind of interested in close me out this week, citing that I hadn't "responded to their request to communicate." True, the next communication was in my court and it had been over a week, but jeez. No use of the "nudge" - the Site's signal for "Hey, I'm still interested in communicating with you." Just CLOSED - communication ended.
With both of these guys, I was due to send the initial email and I hadn't had the time to sit down and write something thoughtful, yet witty. Maybe I'm over thinking the time and effort I should be putting into the emails. Perhaps I should just fire off a quick message without putting too much thought into it, I should not worry about making sure that my emails are the appropriate mix of inquisitive and interested in the recipient, and interesting reading about what I have going on. A quick, not well-thought-out email is so not me - maybe I need to find a middle ground between the rapid-fire initial email and my overly thought-out "compositions." Perhaps a New Year's Resolution for 2008? ;-)
And an update on the Mike situation from last night's post:
Since this was the first time I've been closed by anyone that I'm interested in continuing communication with, I wasn't sure what happens when you click on the option to send the message to that person (the options are to close the person back or send a final message). When you select to send a final message, I thought you'd get to send a free-form email (perfect for Her Wordiness, here). But no! You can pick only one of several options - ranging from "best of luck with your search" to "I wish you'd reconsider." Crap. So I closed him, no comment, no email, no wishes for Happy Holidays.
So last night's request for advice was pointless - the decision was made for me. Although... it did spark some interesting discussions and debates today with me and my girlfriends.
I can't help it but I'm annoyed with these guys. I think I'm going to put the Site and Search on hold until after the first of the year. Maybe. :)
Monday, December 17, 2007
Update-12.17.07
I just logged in and get this... Mike closed me!! And he didn't close me for the same reason that he closed my good friend (taking a break from dating). He closed me, and I quote, "we are communicating outside of [the site]"... WE ARE??? I don't seem to recall hearing from him for the last month. Am I missing something? He has my number, hasn't used it except to provide a lame and utterly unenthusiastic "thank you" in response to me thanking him for a great evening. How bizarre...
OK - so what to do?? Please reply with your comments.
Should I:
a) Just close him out and let it be done
b) Respond with a final message ("Happy holidays, hope all is well, take care")
c) Respond with an emphatic "We are???"
I think C would be incredibly comical, but may not be a good move in the long run. Thoughts?
OK - so what to do?? Please reply with your comments.
Should I:
a) Just close him out and let it be done
b) Respond with a final message ("Happy holidays, hope all is well, take care")
c) Respond with an emphatic "We are???"
I think C would be incredibly comical, but may not be a good move in the long run. Thoughts?
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Update-12.15.07...Later
OK, I admit it. I'm frustrated and lonely. Ugh. I feel pathetic even putting that out there.
It's a Saturday night and I'm alone, at home, watching TV with my cat (nothing against him, but the whole stereotype of that part doesn't look good).
A couple of hours ago I accidentally came across a thoughtful email from my ex, sent early on in our relationship: him asking how he was so lucky to have me in his life and telling me that I give him palpitations.
I want to believe I'm over him completely, that I'm this fabulous single woman ready to take the dating world by storm. But honestly, that email rattled me - rattled me to tears. I haven't cried over missing him and the end of our relationship in months. I thought I was through that part. Crap.
I know ending our relationship was the right thing to do, but is it too much to ask for the next Mr. Wonderful to come along to help speed up the healing process and provide a positive distraction?
It's a Saturday night and I'm alone, at home, watching TV with my cat (nothing against him, but the whole stereotype of that part doesn't look good).
A couple of hours ago I accidentally came across a thoughtful email from my ex, sent early on in our relationship: him asking how he was so lucky to have me in his life and telling me that I give him palpitations.
I want to believe I'm over him completely, that I'm this fabulous single woman ready to take the dating world by storm. But honestly, that email rattled me - rattled me to tears. I haven't cried over missing him and the end of our relationship in months. I thought I was through that part. Crap.
I know ending our relationship was the right thing to do, but is it too much to ask for the next Mr. Wonderful to come along to help speed up the healing process and provide a positive distraction?
Update-12.15.07
All but two of yesterday's matches have been closed out - some closed me, and I closed some of them. Both have expressed interest in communicating with me - I'm not feeling over-the-top excited about either of them, but I'll go along with the communication and see what happens.
This weekend I also need to send the first email to three guys, and respond to another few. I can tell that I'm lukewarm on all these guys - I've had the time to communicate, I just haven't done it yet.
That's it! By the time the sun goes down tomorrow, I MUST be caught up on my match correspondence. I'm committed to doing this, so I need to stay on top of it and dedicate the time.
This weekend I also need to send the first email to three guys, and respond to another few. I can tell that I'm lukewarm on all these guys - I've had the time to communicate, I just haven't done it yet.
That's it! By the time the sun goes down tomorrow, I MUST be caught up on my match correspondence. I'm committed to doing this, so I need to stay on top of it and dedicate the time.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Update-12.14.07
This was a very busy morning for my Inbox - 13 (yes 13!!) new men were delivered for my consideration!!!
One poor soul will be getting immediately closed without so much as a look at his profile (sorry buddy!). He has the same name, same spelling as my ex (still some residual heartache there sometimes).
Tonight I’m staying in to relax at home, so I’ll sift through the latest "suitors" while enjoying a glass of wine. Here’s to some viable candidates!!
One poor soul will be getting immediately closed without so much as a look at his profile (sorry buddy!). He has the same name, same spelling as my ex (still some residual heartache there sometimes).
Tonight I’m staying in to relax at home, so I’ll sift through the latest "suitors" while enjoying a glass of wine. Here’s to some viable candidates!!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Date 3: Sushi and... What's that Smell?
Date 3 - "Sean"
My date with Sean went well last night! I got there 5 minutes late because parking was a disaster and the restaurant was packed. He was already at the bar, having a beer, with a stool next to him saved for me. I recognized him immediately from his photos and he’s MUCH cuter than the pictures he posted. He definitely has the trendy hair and sideburns (and clothing and shoes) thing going on, but it works well for him. :)
I shook his hand and sat down next to him, noticing a small something that I’ll come back to later – I thought it may have been the restaurant, or the air currents, but… stay tuned.
The host came and brought us to a table in the back of the restaurant and we immediately started chatting while the server got me a drink. The good conversation continued and we were “that table” that still hadn’t looked at the menus until the third time the server came back to see if we were ready to order.
Without getting into the nitty gritty details and specifics of the conversation, it was a good date – we laughed, had nice conversation, lots to talk about. Sean is a fun, and very interesting guy. Jeez… re-reading that myself, I can tell that a “but” is coming. There are two, possibly three, buts.
The first is his schedule – he’s SO busy, I honestly don’t know how this guy thinks he has time for dating, much less a serious relationship. He works 12-14 hour days. He coaches a youth sports team (that travels). He travels for pleasure with “the guys” a lot – both internationally and domestic. I don’t consider myself to be overly needy or high-maintenance, but I’m not sure that this guy has the time to dedicate to the kind of relationship I’m ultimately looking for. OK, here’s the third but – it’s the most shallow, but it’s definitely there. When I sat down next to him at the bar I noticed it… and I noticed it again at the table a few times… and I hugged him at the end of the date and noticed it BIG time. He smelled like mildew. P U mildew. A wise friend who is in the know about the sport he coaches told me that it’s the “funk” smell that goes along with not properly airing out clothes and equipment. GROSS.
I did better on the goodbye this time than my date with Seth last Friday night. After the hug I thanked him again for dinner and said I had a nice time. I ended it with “take care” and we parted ways.
One last thing: Sean also lost points for not walking me to my car, which was down a side street. He asked where my car was, but then didn’t walk me there. What the heck…
Not sure if I’ll hear from him again, but it’s doubtful that I’ll call him. He’s a nice guy, but definitely more of a friend than a boyfriend.
My date with Sean went well last night! I got there 5 minutes late because parking was a disaster and the restaurant was packed. He was already at the bar, having a beer, with a stool next to him saved for me. I recognized him immediately from his photos and he’s MUCH cuter than the pictures he posted. He definitely has the trendy hair and sideburns (and clothing and shoes) thing going on, but it works well for him. :)
I shook his hand and sat down next to him, noticing a small something that I’ll come back to later – I thought it may have been the restaurant, or the air currents, but… stay tuned.
The host came and brought us to a table in the back of the restaurant and we immediately started chatting while the server got me a drink. The good conversation continued and we were “that table” that still hadn’t looked at the menus until the third time the server came back to see if we were ready to order.
Without getting into the nitty gritty details and specifics of the conversation, it was a good date – we laughed, had nice conversation, lots to talk about. Sean is a fun, and very interesting guy. Jeez… re-reading that myself, I can tell that a “but” is coming. There are two, possibly three, buts.
The first is his schedule – he’s SO busy, I honestly don’t know how this guy thinks he has time for dating, much less a serious relationship. He works 12-14 hour days. He coaches a youth sports team (that travels). He travels for pleasure with “the guys” a lot – both internationally and domestic. I don’t consider myself to be overly needy or high-maintenance, but I’m not sure that this guy has the time to dedicate to the kind of relationship I’m ultimately looking for. OK, here’s the third but – it’s the most shallow, but it’s definitely there. When I sat down next to him at the bar I noticed it… and I noticed it again at the table a few times… and I hugged him at the end of the date and noticed it BIG time. He smelled like mildew. P U mildew. A wise friend who is in the know about the sport he coaches told me that it’s the “funk” smell that goes along with not properly airing out clothes and equipment. GROSS.
I did better on the goodbye this time than my date with Seth last Friday night. After the hug I thanked him again for dinner and said I had a nice time. I ended it with “take care” and we parted ways.
One last thing: Sean also lost points for not walking me to my car, which was down a side street. He asked where my car was, but then didn’t walk me there. What the heck…
Not sure if I’ll hear from him again, but it’s doubtful that I’ll call him. He’s a nice guy, but definitely more of a friend than a boyfriend.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Update-12.12.07
I have to leave for my date with Sean in 45 minutes. Per a recommendation from a very smart friend, I'm enjoying a glass of wine to chill myself out after another long, tense day at work.
I'm kind of lukewarm on tonight's date and I'm not entirely sure why. I think I was just disappointed in the outcomes of the first two dates, so I'm being guarded and not allowing myself to be excited. Factor in a side of PMS and I guess my lack of enthusiasm and my usual optimism makes sense. Anyway, my fingers crossed that it goes well, or at least provides a good story for me to share!
I logged in to The Site tonight to see if there was any communications from my matches or anyone new of interest. I heard from two of the guys who owed me responses and both sound like good guys that I'd like to meet in person. Now the onus is on me to send them emails and get the communication going. I hate having to be the one to send the initial email, but oh well, it's all part of this adventure.
That's enough of an update for now, I should go touch up my make up and change clothes... I need to get ready for my date with Sean!
I'm kind of lukewarm on tonight's date and I'm not entirely sure why. I think I was just disappointed in the outcomes of the first two dates, so I'm being guarded and not allowing myself to be excited. Factor in a side of PMS and I guess my lack of enthusiasm and my usual optimism makes sense. Anyway, my fingers crossed that it goes well, or at least provides a good story for me to share!
I logged in to The Site tonight to see if there was any communications from my matches or anyone new of interest. I heard from two of the guys who owed me responses and both sound like good guys that I'd like to meet in person. Now the onus is on me to send them emails and get the communication going. I hate having to be the one to send the initial email, but oh well, it's all part of this adventure.
That's enough of an update for now, I should go touch up my make up and change clothes... I need to get ready for my date with Sean!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Date 2: Learning Proper First Date Goodbye Etiquette
Date 2 - "Seth"
Another happy hour, another Friday night, another meeting over margaritas - I never knew I liked tequila so much!
I met Seth last Friday night - he suggested we meet for "early drinks" - which in datespeak means "let's get together, meet, and if we're compatable we can hang out longer, and if not, I have a safety out of having to meet up with some friends." I was fine with that - the "safety out" definitely benefits both people!
Seth and I had pretty good chemistry over email. I found his messages to be absolutely hilarious, albeit a bit ADD. His goofy wit and humor were obvious, and I was certain that if in person he was anything like his emails, I'd be one smitten kitten.
I arrived at the restaurant early, and grabbed a table in the bar area. He walked in at 5:30 on the dot (prompt, a requirement in my book). He was nice looking and I stood up to shake his hand and we had an awkward moment as he went in for a hug. We both recovered nicely and sat down as the waiter appeared to take our drink orders (it's like he knew it was a first date and was saying to the bartender as the alarms sounded and the sirens blared: FIRST DATE!! FIRST DATE!! BOOZE ASAP!!).
Over two rounds of margaritas and chips and salsa the conversation flowed well and there were minimal awkward, strained silences. And when they happened, they were for mere seconds (that felt like a lifetime, but in normal time, not first date time, it wasn't long at all). We talked about our families, our hoiday rituals, what we do for fun, our experiences on the dating site, our jobs, how long we've lived in the South... we covered it all.
I laughed a lot and remembered to be a bit more flirtatious this time (I was worried that with Mike I hadn't been flirtatious enough). I touched his arm a couple of times... not in a creepy "oooh, what nice biceps you have", but to emphasize a point.
At 8:15, nearly 3 hours after the date began, he said something about ending a good thing on a high note (something alluding to not overstaying a welcome, but the date version of that). So we got the check and he paid the bill (I always offer, and am 2 for 2 in being turned down).
He was nice enough to walk me to my car, where we had a nice hug (definite bonus points on being a good hugger). And I thanked him for a nice time...then... in the sort of awkward silence that followed I said "Hopefully I'll hear from you."
YIKES. Eeek. Several friends have assured me that it's not THAT bad. But it still makes me cringe a little. It sounds just a wee bit desperate. His response "oh, Ok, great. Excellent." And that was it.
That was Friday, it's now Monday night and I haven't heard from him. Which I'm fine with. Looking back, it seemed kind of vanilla. There was no spark. No pizzazz. No za za zu. He was a perfectly nice guy, funny, sweet, good conversation, but no spark.
If he contacts me I'll go out with him again and see if the za za zu appears. If not, there are no hurt feelings. It was a good date and I feel good that I'm still back out there... even if I did get my feelings hurt just a little bit with the bizarre Mike/text message stuff from several weeks before.
Next date is Wednesday night - 2 days away... stay tuned!
Another happy hour, another Friday night, another meeting over margaritas - I never knew I liked tequila so much!
I met Seth last Friday night - he suggested we meet for "early drinks" - which in datespeak means "let's get together, meet, and if we're compatable we can hang out longer, and if not, I have a safety out of having to meet up with some friends." I was fine with that - the "safety out" definitely benefits both people!
Seth and I had pretty good chemistry over email. I found his messages to be absolutely hilarious, albeit a bit ADD. His goofy wit and humor were obvious, and I was certain that if in person he was anything like his emails, I'd be one smitten kitten.
I arrived at the restaurant early, and grabbed a table in the bar area. He walked in at 5:30 on the dot (prompt, a requirement in my book). He was nice looking and I stood up to shake his hand and we had an awkward moment as he went in for a hug. We both recovered nicely and sat down as the waiter appeared to take our drink orders (it's like he knew it was a first date and was saying to the bartender as the alarms sounded and the sirens blared: FIRST DATE!! FIRST DATE!! BOOZE ASAP!!).
Over two rounds of margaritas and chips and salsa the conversation flowed well and there were minimal awkward, strained silences. And when they happened, they were for mere seconds (that felt like a lifetime, but in normal time, not first date time, it wasn't long at all). We talked about our families, our hoiday rituals, what we do for fun, our experiences on the dating site, our jobs, how long we've lived in the South... we covered it all.
I laughed a lot and remembered to be a bit more flirtatious this time (I was worried that with Mike I hadn't been flirtatious enough). I touched his arm a couple of times... not in a creepy "oooh, what nice biceps you have", but to emphasize a point.
At 8:15, nearly 3 hours after the date began, he said something about ending a good thing on a high note (something alluding to not overstaying a welcome, but the date version of that). So we got the check and he paid the bill (I always offer, and am 2 for 2 in being turned down).
He was nice enough to walk me to my car, where we had a nice hug (definite bonus points on being a good hugger). And I thanked him for a nice time...then... in the sort of awkward silence that followed I said "Hopefully I'll hear from you."
YIKES. Eeek. Several friends have assured me that it's not THAT bad. But it still makes me cringe a little. It sounds just a wee bit desperate. His response "oh, Ok, great. Excellent." And that was it.
That was Friday, it's now Monday night and I haven't heard from him. Which I'm fine with. Looking back, it seemed kind of vanilla. There was no spark. No pizzazz. No za za zu. He was a perfectly nice guy, funny, sweet, good conversation, but no spark.
If he contacts me I'll go out with him again and see if the za za zu appears. If not, there are no hurt feelings. It was a good date and I feel good that I'm still back out there... even if I did get my feelings hurt just a little bit with the bizarre Mike/text message stuff from several weeks before.
Next date is Wednesday night - 2 days away... stay tuned!
Date 1: I'd Like to Introduce You to my Friends...and You'll Never Hear From Me Again
Date 1-"Mike"
"Mike" and I met for happy hour on a Friday night. Traffic was horrible and I got there 5 minutes late - we were supposed to meet at 6:30. At 6:45 I started to panic - was I being stood up?? On my first date since the break-up, was this really happening? As I contemplated what my next move would be - should I call him and ask if he's still coming (he gave me his # in case I got lost or needed directions) or should I play it cool and just leave the restaurant... he walked in. I recognized him immediately from his photos and stood to shake his hand.
From the second we sat down, the conversation never stopped. He was so interesting and we had so much to talk about. I feel like we never finished discussing a single topic because we'd get side-tracked and move on to the next. We were "that table" that the waitress had to keep coming back to because we hadn't even touched the menus.
We ordered a pitcher of margaritas, and the conversation kept flowing. Happy hour drinks turned into dinner, and dinner turned into him inviting me out to meet up with his friends! I was thrilled - buzzed, thrilled, and having the best time I'd had in months.
We met up with his friends and had a couple of glasses of wine - the great conversation continued. He referenced us taking his favorite gym/fitness class together. He referenced what might happen if our pets were to meet. Between his references to future events, and the way he subtly made physical contact with me to emphasize a point (brushing my arm, touching my stomach -random, I know, but it wasn't awkward at the time!) I was nearly certain that there would be a date #2.
At 11:15, he announced to the group that he needed to call it a night. We went to the valet and he paid my tip for valet. The goodbye was over before I realized that it was "The Goodbye." It was more of a sideways, arm around the shoulder, friend hug.
Neither of us said "call me" or "I hope to see you soon." But he was thoughtful enough to ask if I was OK to drive and if I knew how to get home (yes, and yes).
As I was driving home, I realized something - throughout the course of the entire evening, I'd never given him my number!!! DOH!! I mean, I had some concerns that Mike may have a bit of an ego, but I was chalking it up to first date nervousness, not arrogance. I knew I wanted to see him again so I could learn more about him. Therefore, what to do?!?
I consulted with friends, close coworkers, and friends' husbands and fiances. All agreed that a casual text message was in order - it would allow me to thank him again, and would put my cell number into his hands.
Sunday night, I texted him... brief and casual: Had a great time Friday night, thanks again. Let's catch up soon. And I signed my name.
No response by the time I went to bed. No response when I woke up in the morning. No response all day long... then it arrived. About 24 hours after I'd sent my message. I'd lie if I said I wasn't disappointed. All it said was "Thank you. Heading home." For Thanksgiving. That was it. Boo.
And that really was it. Not a word or any sort of contact with him since.
I've consulted with that same group who weighed in on the text message and there are three theories: 1) He freaked out because it went too well(note: he was engaged earlier this year) 2) He's got a girlfriend 3) He was a great actor and is able to have a good time and fun conversation with anyone
Recently, he matched up with one of my close friends (who is also on the site) and closed communication with her citing that he's "taking a break from dating." Could it possibly be #1? He hasn't closed me out yet, so maybe I'll hear from him down the road... but I'm not holding my breath.
"Mike" and I met for happy hour on a Friday night. Traffic was horrible and I got there 5 minutes late - we were supposed to meet at 6:30. At 6:45 I started to panic - was I being stood up?? On my first date since the break-up, was this really happening? As I contemplated what my next move would be - should I call him and ask if he's still coming (he gave me his # in case I got lost or needed directions) or should I play it cool and just leave the restaurant... he walked in. I recognized him immediately from his photos and stood to shake his hand.
From the second we sat down, the conversation never stopped. He was so interesting and we had so much to talk about. I feel like we never finished discussing a single topic because we'd get side-tracked and move on to the next. We were "that table" that the waitress had to keep coming back to because we hadn't even touched the menus.
We ordered a pitcher of margaritas, and the conversation kept flowing. Happy hour drinks turned into dinner, and dinner turned into him inviting me out to meet up with his friends! I was thrilled - buzzed, thrilled, and having the best time I'd had in months.
We met up with his friends and had a couple of glasses of wine - the great conversation continued. He referenced us taking his favorite gym/fitness class together. He referenced what might happen if our pets were to meet. Between his references to future events, and the way he subtly made physical contact with me to emphasize a point (brushing my arm, touching my stomach -random, I know, but it wasn't awkward at the time!) I was nearly certain that there would be a date #2.
At 11:15, he announced to the group that he needed to call it a night. We went to the valet and he paid my tip for valet. The goodbye was over before I realized that it was "The Goodbye." It was more of a sideways, arm around the shoulder, friend hug.
Neither of us said "call me" or "I hope to see you soon." But he was thoughtful enough to ask if I was OK to drive and if I knew how to get home (yes, and yes).
As I was driving home, I realized something - throughout the course of the entire evening, I'd never given him my number!!! DOH!! I mean, I had some concerns that Mike may have a bit of an ego, but I was chalking it up to first date nervousness, not arrogance. I knew I wanted to see him again so I could learn more about him. Therefore, what to do?!?
I consulted with friends, close coworkers, and friends' husbands and fiances. All agreed that a casual text message was in order - it would allow me to thank him again, and would put my cell number into his hands.
Sunday night, I texted him... brief and casual: Had a great time Friday night, thanks again. Let's catch up soon. And I signed my name.
No response by the time I went to bed. No response when I woke up in the morning. No response all day long... then it arrived. About 24 hours after I'd sent my message. I'd lie if I said I wasn't disappointed. All it said was "Thank you. Heading home." For Thanksgiving. That was it. Boo.
And that really was it. Not a word or any sort of contact with him since.
I've consulted with that same group who weighed in on the text message and there are three theories: 1) He freaked out because it went too well(note: he was engaged earlier this year) 2) He's got a girlfriend 3) He was a great actor and is able to have a good time and fun conversation with anyone
Recently, he matched up with one of my close friends (who is also on the site) and closed communication with her citing that he's "taking a break from dating." Could it possibly be #1? He hasn't closed me out yet, so maybe I'll hear from him down the road... but I'm not holding my breath.
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